Page 92 of Sawyer

“She is crying over ants and not the men you shot,” Sin murmurs.

“They were bad betas.” I sniffle and walk away from the ants that entertained me for the last half hour. They deserved so much more than my boot squish.

I step around the bush that hid us and look at the little fire. “How many did he say?”

“Eight was the highest number,” Bryn answers. “I’m assuming more.”

“You think we’re close?” I ask and kick one of the sleeping bags to the side while I avoid looking at the dead betas.

“No,” Rumor replies honestly. “I think we’ve hit something, but I don’t think we are close yet.”

“Do you know where we are?” Bryn squints into the dark.

“Close to the ridge,” Rumor answers. “We need shelter before we try to make it either over or down.”

“If patrols exist, we might need to use the caves.” Bryn and Rumor go back and forth, once again debating our path.

“Did you hike with your parents?” Sin guides me to a cooler and pulls out a hunk of cheese, handing it to me.

“My brother.” Knowing he wouldn’t let those questions go, I sigh, but I don’t hate talking to Sin. Something about all three makes me want to bare my soul and every wound I’ve ever experienced. “We used to hike the path along the sea. There were a few cave systems in there, but we never went too deep because we could drown at high tide.”

“Logical.” Sin grabs more cheese and bites into it. Around his mouthful, he asks, “Anywhere else?”

I unravel my cheese and take a bite of the bitter, flaky wheel. “We used to travel northeast and camp. There were waterfalls and streams we could play in. Shep always made me feel safe and wanted, despite our parents doing the opposite.”

“I’m sorry,” Sin says. “His betrayal must hurt.”

My throat tries to clog up. “It does. He’s always wanted the best for me, so I think he’s just doing what he believes is right.”

“Like putting a tracker in you.” Sin’s words are cutthroat, honest, and raw.

“I think my parents did it.” I reach up to the little bandage over my right shoulder. Although Mila got it all, it doesn’t change the fact that it was there in the first place.

Sin hums and takes another bite of cheese while Rumor and Bryn do what they do behind us. Curiosity gnaws at me, so I turn around and find them going through everything in the camp, completely ransacking it before throwing fabric on the fire.

“We’ll burn the bodies,” Rumor states. “It won’t hide that we’ve been here.”

“Why bother?” I ask, and when Rumor throws a man on the fire, I turn away.

I should stop recording. The light changes from green to red as I press the off button. No one needs to see this. I’ll have to scrub it all back.

“Because I don’t want a single trace to come back to you,” Rumor replies. “You’ll need to scrub your recording.”

“Already thought about it.” I sniffle, the cold and the altitude finally getting to me.

“Sin, why don’t you guys walk a little farther north? We will catch up once we are done here,” Bryn advises, already knowing I’d rather be anywhere but here, watching them clean up their actions. “Stop when you can no longer see the light of the fire.”

“Let’s race, but I don’t want you to trip.” Sin grabs my hand, tugging me north as the fire behind us flares brightly.

“You think it’s smart for us to separate?” I yawn, unable to keep my jaw from popping.

“No,” he answers honestly, “but you don’t want to watch them either.”

“Do you think that makes me weak?” I almost trip over a log and decide we’ve gone far enough. We won’t be able to stay near here due to the camp, but I’d rather wait for the others before we keep moving.

“No, I think it makes you who you are.” Sin turns around, cupping my face with his palms. He does his best to stand apart from me to keep my scent from breaking through the suppressant. “You shouldn’t see emotion as a weakness,” he whispers. “For so long, I was afraid to show how I felt, choosing to numb my feelings with tonics, elixirs, and worse, but I see you holding back, and I want to learn every emotion you feel.”

“Sin, you shouldn’t hold back either.”

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