Page 123 of Queen of Diamonds

“I’m…” This didn’t feel right. The word wasn’t enough. “I’m so sorry we were never there.” I was shaking, having gone through these words over and over in my mind, trying and failing to find a combination that was right. That she deserved. “Not one of us ever stopped loving you. We haven’t been able to, no matter how much we…” I swallowed, not wanting to say it. To risk hurting her more.

“I know you hated me,” she whispered. “I needed you to.”

“I’ll still never forgive myself for it.”

A smile wobbled on her lips. “That would be really mopey of you.”

I snorted, dragging her closer, arms winding around her waist as she sank against my chest. “I’m so sorry, Glade.”

It felt hollow beside what she’d given us—beside what she kept giving.

The worst part was that I didn’t know if we would have survived. If Ace had truly figured out what Kyan had done to Joshua Maverick, Zed’s father, if he’d had proof, we would have been corpses that night. But she’d found the one path to save us, and taken it. Even though it had cost her everything.

“I forgive you,” she whispered. “I did a long time ago.”

I shut my eyes, chest aching. She should never have had to.

“Where’s Zed?” she asked.

I frowned. I knew she had already asked that of Kyan. “He’s… taking some space.”

The fact was, I didn’t know where he was, and Kyan wouldn’t tell me—which meant he was likely doing something stupid.

“Does he not…?” I saw a flash of worry in her eyes.

I frowned, trying to work that out.

“Does he not what?”

She shrank, eyes darting around. Her pupils were still dilated, hormones clearly still raging in her system. “He’s… he’s my pack leader now. And I just…”

Her brows creased in the most heartbreaking frown. Her next words were as quiet as a wisp. “I haven’t felt him in the bond… I thought he would have wanted to see me by now.”

“No—Princess.” I drew her chin up to look at me, shaking my head. “He wants you. He’s just… So much happened. He’s processing.”

That didn’t seem to settle her. “O-Okay.”

“He was in here—he wouldn’t leave your side.”

A little relief flashed in her eyes as she processed that. “Then… why isn’t he here now?”

She didn’t remember. Hormones or drugs, or both, I wasn’t sure, but I was glad she didn’t. The image of her pleading with him, unable to let him go, screaming when I’d pulled her away, trying to give herself up over and over, it would never leave my mind.

“It’s not because he doesn’t want you—I promise. He wants you so much, but it’s killing him, learning what you went through for us. It’s worse for him. It’s his pack, his brother—just give him time. And he was the one—” My breath caught. I could still feel the echo of Zed’s grief like a twisting dagger in the heart. We’d all felt it, but he… he had seen it. “Me and Kyan will be here until then. We won’t leave your side.”

Slowly, she nodded, curling back up against my chest, and I drew her into a bear hug, my purr strong enough that it made the faintest little quakes upon the surface of the water. She was fragile right now, and there was only so much my words could do. She needed to see it from him herself.

“He’ll be back, Glade, I promise.”

42

KNIGHT

“It’s been too long. She’s stressing. Where is he?” I demanded.

It had been four days since we’d escaped Ace, and over a day since she’d woken, yet Zed wasn’t back. Glade was improving, albeit slowly.

This morning she’d woken up and slipped downstairs to get herself a glass of orange juice without either of us. We didn’t want to leave her for extended periods, but it was early evening, and she’d dozed off to a movie in the bedroom. I felt safe enough dragging Kyan out to ask him what the fuck was going on with our pack leader.

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