Page 149 of Queen of Diamonds

As if it was the first I’d ever taken.

And finally, something soared free in my chest as I stepped back into my pack’s living room. My home. Ace was chained up in my home.

And of course, with that, like a monster waiting to pounce, the dam broke, the meds failed, and my heat crashed in.

That sense of freedom I’d just felt dissolved instantly for terror. It was hard to explain why, exactly. This was the heat I’d been waiting for, for years. It was more than that.

All I knew was that I was going to lose my mind, and I was terrified.

“Oasis.”

I shook my head, realising too late that I couldn’t have heat without my scars. Until now, they’d been so gentle with them, avoiding them, and never making me feel pressure to reveal my back.

But... I couldn’t breathe. The world was going dim, as sharp pains speared my stomach.

A pain I’d felt a thousand times before.

“Shhh, Princess, I’ve got you.” Pear grove felt like a cool breeze, and strong arms were lifting me. I looked up into beautiful midnight eyes, knowing he could feel me trembling.

My voice shook. “I d-don’t know how to do this.”

My scars hurt almost as much as the heat spikes. Each line upon my back was open again, and tears were tracking my face as he guided me down to the huge pack bed, hands still at my sides. Not enough, and yet, I didn’t know how to ask for more.

“However you need us, remember,” Knight whispered. I nodded, though I didn’t know if I believed it. But he made Kyan feel safe.

“Can I touch you?” he asked.

Touch me...?

He was.

But, I think he meant, like... for heat. During heat...

Ace’s hands closed around my throat as he held me still.

“Ask, Omega.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pain rising like an ocean tide, and I knew it would drown me.

It would drown me, and so would he.

My breaths were short and sharp. Pear grove was tangled with roses. But my mind tripped over that, trying to figure it out.

Which was a nightmare? Which was a dream? They were never both there at the same time.

Only... right now, they were.

I nodded, a hiccup caught between sobs.

I don’t remember what I was saying yes to. Not until his touch brushed my skin like ice melting against a furnace, and I shuddered, leaning into it, needing more. His purr rumbled through me as I leaned against his chest, his skin cooling mine.

He was here.

“Knight.”

How many times had I whispered his name? How many times had the pain that sliced across my back still been nothing to the heat I was fighting?

But this time, when I said his name, he answered.

---