Page 70 of Fierce Monarch

“Marry me, Grey.”

Chapter Nineteen

Greyson

“No.”

In every dream I’d ever had, every fantasy of making Mari my wife, I’d never expected my answer to be that.

“No?” The rejection hit swiftly, and her voice shook as she pulled away. It was hell trying not to grab her back, but while I needed her closer, she needed distance. She’d always been the type to run away and gather her thoughts before she came back to discuss things. She needed solitude and peace to process, but that wasn’t going to happen this time.

I sat up, and even though she was only a few feet away, arms wrapped around herself as if they could hold her together, it felt like a canyon.

“I don’t want you like this.”

“Like what, Greyson? Begging you? Because I can guarantee that’s not going to happen again,” she snapped.

“Scared.”

Silence fell thick and painful around us.

“You think I asked because I’m scared?”

“Yes,” I admitted. The look on her face when Lucia had dropped the marriage pact on her…it had been just as devastated as when she’d found out about Nate. Honestly, it was probably worse. “I don’t want you as my wife because I’m the only choice. I want you as my wife because we love each other. Because it’s the most rational step forward. I want you because you want me as much as I crave you.”

For a moment, she just stared at me like she had no idea who I was. Then she huffed, and the shock quickly wore off, transitioning to something almost warmer. It was unexpected. Mari’s fear of rejection tended to react with snarky barbs and sharp words. Instead, she climbed on my lap.

“Why do you think I asked you to marry me?”

It felt like a trick question, but I couldn’t help answering. My queen commanded, and I obeyed. “Because you’re upset with Dominic and Nate. You think I’m the safe choice.”

I didn’t mind being the safe choice when we all knew I’d never hurt Mari intentionally, but it stung that she’d used it to decide something as important as this.

Unexpectedly, Mari laughed, head thrown back and loud. She was so fucking beautiful like that, unencumbered by the world and its problems, and I wanted her in my lap, on my cock, always.

When she quieted, she took my face in her hands. “You’ve never been the safe choice, Grey. You’ve always been the one most likely to break my heart in two.”

I clenched my hands at her hips. “I would never.”

“But you could. It’s always been you, Grey. Even with Dominic and Nate, and the others before them, you’ve always been my forever. I did ask you because I was scared, but not for the reason you think.” She slid closer, running her hands through my hair so softly it was almost heartbreaking. “I cannot lose you. Not to secrets or life or this fucking war. If I don’t have you by my side, at my back, I can’t breathe. I asked because I need you and I love you. I know now that there isn’t a future where I exist without you wearing my ring. Don’t make me live it.”

I cleared my throat, trying not to show how much her words meant to me because I wasn’t sure I could believe them. Not truly. I’d been without her for so long that some part of me still expected her to walk away, to choose someone else. When I told her that, she frowned.

“Why do you think I’ll leave you?”

Shrugging, I tried not to show how much the idea of it hurt, but Mari was my everything. My blood and bones. Losing her wasn’t losing a limb; it was losing my existence. But I didn’t know how to tell her that, so I just said, “Forever is a long time.”

Mari had always understood me better than anyone else, even Antoni. He’d seen the surface, but Mari had always seen to my heart with ease. She brought our foreheads together, whispering against my lips. “You think I can’t love you enough for forever, Greyson?”

“I’d understand if you couldn’t.” Some days, I wasn’t sure I had anything substantial inside me, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it wasn’t enough for her. If I wasn’t enough.

She pulled back to stare at me until, finally, she climbed carefully off my lap. The disappointment was staggering, but I kept my hands where they were and didn’t call out to her. She didn’t need me chasing after her right now, not on the heels of so much bad news. When I expected her to head for the door, she walked farther into her suite, and I watched unsurely as she moved over to the ornate dresser and pulled open the top drawer. She dug around for a minute and brought out a package I’d never seen, still in the mailer.

Keeping it in hand, she climbed onto the bed and gave it to me.

“What is this?” I asked warily, unsure what was making my heart race so much. For the first time in ages, my hands were shaking.

It was like my body was telling me something was happening. Something important.

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