Page 12 of Her Gentle Daddy

Finding her sippy cup in the dishwasher, Gabby rinsed it out and filled it with cold water, quickly securing the lid and drinking down the liquid. It felt like heaven on her throat. Looking around the kitchen, she decided she could clean up a little for Sean. Not that it was messy, but she knew how to make things shine and hoped it would please him and, if anything, would make her feel like she was paying him back just a little for letting her stay at his house.

Grabbing a towel from one of the drawers, Gabby looked under the sink for cleaners and found a clear spray bottle that was hand-labeled as countertop cleaner. She grabbed the cleaner, began spraying down the counters, and then immediately started using the cloth to wipe the spray away. She made sure to rub in circular motions to help eliminate any streaks off the shiny granite.

When she finished the countertops, she stood back, smiling at how clean and shiny they looked. Taking the towel to the sink, she began to rinse the cloth with water, noticing that the dark blue color was fading and becoming a light color. Her eyes widened as she held the towel up to her nose and smelled bleach.

Oh shit. He’s going to be so mad at me for ruining his nice kitchen towel. Shit, Gabby. You are so stupid.

Her hands began to tremble, and she dropped the cloth into the sink. She ruined something of his, and he was going to be so mad! What would he do? Scream at her? Hit her? Gabby’s breathing became shallow, and she started seeing spots in her vision, and she knew a panic attack was coming.

She knew the first thing she needed to do was sit down somewhere safe so she could avoid collapsing. Sinking onto the cold tile floor in the kitchen with her back resting against the cabinet, Gabby brought her knees to her chest and tried to take deep breaths. She knew it would get worse before it got better, so she just needed to get through it, but she wished she had Patches to hold in her arms. It seemed like her panic attacks weren’t nearly as bad when she held him.

It didn’t take long before her breath was sawing in and out of her lungs, and she had tears streaming down her face. Her heart was racing against her chest, and her skin felt clammy. For some reason, she would always sweat profusely during an attack.

It’s going to be okay, Gabby. You are safe and alive. Just breathe. No one is going to hurt you anymore.

She repeated the words in her head as she always did when she was trying to get through her panic. Resting her face against her knees, Gabby closed her eyes and counted, trying anything she could to center herself.

“Gabby? Gabby! Honey, are you okay?”

She let out a cry as his words cut through the air, startling her. She heard him moving closer causing her to stiffen up instinctively.

“No, don’t hurt me!”

The movement in the room stopped immediately.

“Baby girl, I would never hurt you. It’s Sean. You’re safe. Are you having a panic attack, baby?”

She nodded without looking up, letting out a soft cry.

She heard him moving again, but slower this time. Even though her eyes were closed, she sensed that he knelt in front of her.

“Can I touch you, baby girl? I’ll hold you.”

Gabby shook her head and put her hands out in front of her to keep him away.

“Okay, baby. I’m not going to touch you. I’m not leaving you, though. I’m just going to sit right here next to you.”

Keeping her head on her knees, Gabby opened her eyes and watched him move out of the corner of her eye as he sat down on the floor next to her and stretched his long legs out in front of him. She felt her breathing slow down just slightly, knowing he was there next to her, yet he was respecting her boundaries of not wanting to be touched at that moment. Maybe he wasn’t a monster. Perhaps he was just a sweet Daddy.

5

SEAN

Walking in and seeing Gabby crouched on the kitchen floor, breathing rapidly, with her knees up to her chest was beyond frightening. Sean cursed himself for leaving her. It had been the first time he’d left her in the house alone, and he should have known better. He should have taken her with him to run to the office.

It only took a moment to realize she was having a panic attack. He knew the signs as his mother used to have them when he was growing up, and he would often help her through them even though he was only a kid. He was aware that panic attacks are terrifying for the person having them and could be just as scary for the person trying to help the person through one. It was torture watching someone you care about go through something so awful.

When she screamed out to him not to hurt her, his heart had felt as though it was being torn into a million pieces. Never in his life would he hurt her or any other woman for that matter, and he wanted to murder whoever had hurt her in her past and caused her so much fear.

It was hard not to touch her even after she shook her head no, but he knew that it could make things worse. Especially if she was scared that he was going to hurt her. Instead, he sat down on the floor, only a foot or so away, and quietly whispered to her.

“You’re safe here, Gabby. I will never hurt you. I’m sitting right beside you if you need me.”

With each soft word he spoke, she seemed to breathe a bit easier, so he continued to talk.

“You’re okay, baby girl. I’m right here. You can touch me if you want to, but I won’t touch you. I’ll just sit here with you in case you need me. That’s it, baby, breathe slowly.”

Sean wished he could get her stuffed dog for her, but he didn’t dare leave her alone, so he pushed that thought away. If she asked for Patches, he would get him for her, but otherwise, he wasn’t leaving her side.

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