Page 26 of Luna Rising

“I didn’t want this to be our happily ever after,” Ewan murmured into my hair.

“It definitely looked different in my head,” I admitted.

He squeezed me. “So you have thought about our future before now.” He sounded like he meant it to be teasing, yet it didn’t feel that way.

“Of course. I mean, not like the details. But, yeah, obviously I’ve thought about our happily ever after.” I sat up straighter and met his gaze. “Maybe even before this life. Zosia knew when she saw the baby in the carriage. My soul knew you from the day we met, even if it took the rest of me a while to catch up. Maybe she orchestrated this life so we could finally be together.”

Ewan turned, so we were face to face, and took my hands. “You are her, Zara. Don’t fight it. The memories will become whole when you accept the truth.”

“I don’t want to be her.” I hadn’t meant to say it. The words just slipped out. Of the two of us, I’d accepted my previous ego much more readily than he had. As a vampire, I’d seen too many of Zosia’s misdeeds to allow her space in mind.

“Why?” Ewan squeezed my fingers. “What have you seen?” He asked as if he knew the answer. “Tell me, Zara.” He didn’t use his alpha voice, which I appreciated, though I also sort of wished that he had. Then, we could get this conversation out of the way, and I could stop agonizing over it. “I need to know the truth.”

There was no point pretending I didn’t understand his real question, the one he was afraid to ask, and I was terrified to answer.

“I haven’t seen that night, the one where Zosia ended things.”

Gold overpowered crimson his irises as rage filled our bond. “I have. Millions of times. Every moment of that night is burned into my memory.”

Guilt made me nauseous. I had hurt him so badly. His heartbreak was palpable. A physical ache developed in my chest, like a piece of my heart cracked off. If I had needed air, I would have started hyperventilating. My mind and body were at odds with each other. Somehow, that was so much worse than an actual panic attack.

“It’s okay, Zara.” Ewan rubbed his thumbs over my palms, his soft, soothing tone contradicting the anger I felt burning inside of him. “I’m not mad. Not at you. Just, please, tell me why. What did Stavros do that made Zosia reject him?”

Understanding dawned. Ewan thought he had fucked up, that he had done something unforgiveable. He was mad at himself.

“Tell me,” Ewan repeated.

I shook my head, the explanation sticking in my throat.

“It’s okay,” he coaxed. “Whatever it is, you can tell me anything. I am your husband. What happened then doesn’t change that now, got it? There is nothing you can say that will make me stop loving you. I just need to know.”

Because I refused to let him blame himself, I decided to come clean.

“Stavros did nothing wrong. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t your fault.” I took an unnecessary breath. “It was mine. King Orrin. He called me to his chambers. Iliana saw us together, in the gardens,” I added for emphasis, since the overgrown floral lover's dream was our normal rendezvous sight. “He said I was up for elimination and offered to save me if I told you it was over. I was scared, and I agreed.”

That was the truth as I knew it. I didn’t mention that I thought Zosia had an even greater reason for rejecting Stavros because I wanted to know the entire story before I told Ewan anything more.

For a long moment, he stared at me without speaking. Then, he wrapped me in his warm, protective embrace.

“I love you,” he whispered.

I made him wait just as long for a response as he’d made me wait. “I love you, too. I always have.”

My mouth found his. The kiss started off sweet, quickly becoming something deeper as his tongue slid between my lips. He tasted like the beer he’d been drinking, which was intoxicating for its normalcy. It furthered the fantasy of our holiday movie date night.

“Now can I have my reward for not eating anyone?” I nipped his bottom lip with my fangs as I drew back from the kiss.

Dark, desire-filled pools of crimson and gold swirled in eyes as he pretended to consider it. He was rock hard against my hip, and I dared to hope that he was done toying with my hormones and actually intended to re-consummate our marriage now that we were both vampires.

“I did get you a present for tonight.”

I kissed his neck, inhaling the scent of snow that clung to his skin. “Does it require batteries?” I asked because if he didn’t intend to touch me, I would take care of my sexual frustration on my own.

His hand slid under my borrowed sweater. “Sadly, no. But I’ll remember that for next time.”

My mouth moved to his jaw. “You’re proving to be an excellent mate already, very trainable.”

He caught my chin, and our eyes locked. “I’ll do anything to make you happy.”

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