Page 13 of Gabriel & Skye

I’ve been going out of my mind since she left. My parents came over and Mom helped with Trinity because I was too shocked and overwhelmed to deal with anything. Brooklyn gave me a shit ton of help since he also has a daughter and knows a lot more about this than I do.

But at night when I’m alone, I lay in our bed listening to the rain on the roof.

My baby resting on my chest with a bottle in her mouth.

“I can’t, Gabe. You need to accept that.”

“When are we going to see you again?”

“I don’t know. I’ll be in touch soon, I promise.”

I’ll be in touch? I’d never felt so out of my depth and so alone in all my life…

“You know, it takes a little more than that,” Gray cajoles with Hart and snaps me out of my reverie. When I look up, he’s watching me. “You’re thinking hard over there.”

“You know me, my mind is always on the business,” I lie. No one really needs to know the depths of my pain. I don’t need to wear the reflection of complete and utter despair on my sleeve.

I’d like to believe I’ve hidden it well over the years.

Maybe that’s why I’m such a hothead and tend to lose my shit easily.

I've designed my life the way I wanted, so letting someone new in could potentially disrupt things. Do I want to live alone like this for the rest of my life?

Only having work to fall back on?

And while I love my daughter more than anything in the world, it would be nice to have a woman to share it all with, too. I miss that. Not just being close to someone, but enjoying their company. And kissing. I’m a kisser, and I haven’t done it in way too long.

A big part of me worries what that would do to the dynamic of me and Trinity, and the world of two we’ve built over the past five years.

My mom is always telling me I have so much love to give. She sees my heart and she knows what I have inside that often feels like it’s bursting to be let out. It’s something I wished Tiffany could have had; a mother’s instinct. Her only instinct was to abandon us and never see us again. I don’t understand how someone could be so heartless.

I shake off the bitterness.

“You work too much,” Gray says, surprising me. “When did you last take a vacation?”

I glance up at them both, stirring the spoon around in my coffee absently. “I can’t say I remember,” I admit with a shrug. “Trin and I visited Georgia when she was three.”

“Two years ago?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Something like that.”

“Maybe it’s time,” Hartley says.

“Maybe.” They make a good point, but I have no intention of doing that right now.

“And before you say anything, I’m not after your job when you go,” Gray adds.

My mouth quirks into a smile. Yes, we’ve been feuding for months over that.

I was more than a little sensitive about my big brother heading back to Stoney Creek and taking my job away from me. Now I can see how ridiculous that is, because not only did Gray admit to me he wants nothing of the sort; I can see it for myself now. His focus is entirely on his future at Coyote Run, as well as running the exports for the distillery. He’s really shown no inclination to take over things.

We all have input, but someone has to be at the helm. And I trained tirelessly for years with my dad, learning all the ropes from being out in the field where we grow barley and rye on the property, to production down in the cellar where Brooklyn manages a team. And everything in the back office, from marketing, accounts, staffing and budgets, to the tasting room, customer service and working in the retail store. I’ve done it all. No one can say that the role of CEO has been handed to me on a silver platter.

“Good to know, brother.” I smile to myself.

He grins, too. I like how my brother has mellowed since Hartley came along. He was so fucking broody before. The love of a good woman…

“Anyway, I have to get back to work. I have to pick Trin up at three.”

---