Page 14 of Find Me

The high hits me quickly, and it’s different this time. Mixed sensations flood my body, and soon I’m met with an overwhelming feeling of calm mixed with a spike of energy.

Still looking at me he asks, “How is that? Still tired?”

“What is this?” I ask him tentatively, warning bells ringing in my head. What did he give me, and why won’t he tell me what it is?

“Just a special concoction Tanner, Bryce, and I made together last weekend,” he says, naming some of his friends. He takes the joint out of my lips and places it between his own. Inhaling deeply, he continues, “This babe, is a cocopuff; the perfect combination of weed with a sprinkle of coke on top.” He exhales, and I swear my heart stops.

“Coke?” I say, louder than I mean to, as I stand up in front of him. “You gave me cocaine?”

I’m definitely awake now, anger replacing any sense of calm I was starting to feel.

“I just got used to the idea of smoking weed, and now you’re giving me coke? Come on, Rhett, even you have to admit this is fucked up. Coke is on a completely different level.” I clench my fists in frustration, pacing in front of him, unsure of what else to do, and seriously considering punching him in the face.

“Babe, settle down. It will be fine, come here.” He gestures to me.

“The last thing I feel like doing right now is settling down.” I hiss in response.

He sighs, taking another puff of the joint.

“Just do me a favor and take a breath before you give yourself an aneurysm,” he chides.

I do as he says, but only because I am starting to get dizzy walking back and forth so quickly.

“There. That feels better, doesn’t it? You have to admit that it feels good,” he says smoothly, placing his hand on the small of my back and drawing me closer to him. He looks at me as he strokes my sides with his hands.

“In all the time that you’ve known me, have I ever done anything to hurt you?”

“No… But this is—”

He cuts me off. “Have I ever broken your trust?”

“No, but Rhett this is—”

He interrupts me again.

“Babe, I’ve got you. Trust me.” He smiles. “Now, since you’ve already taken a hit, why don’t you just try to relax and enjoy the ride?”

I roll my eyes at him, caught in an internal struggle. I want to be mad at him, and I am, but I also want to give into the high that’s trying to work its way through my body. As much as I don’t want to agree with him, I have to admit it is starting to feel pretty nice.

I exhale, my shoulders dropping in surrender.

“Fine, but never do this to me again. I don’t do hard drugs, okay?”

He raises his hands in defeat. “Fine, fine,” he says nonchalantly. “Now, since we’re already here, why don’t you have another puff and see how you feel. Then try telling me you’d still rather have your coffee.” He laughs.

I hesitate for a second, before reaching forward and taking the joint from his hands, inhaling cautiously. I hold the smoke in my lungs until it feels like I’m drowning, my exhale providing immediate relief from the burning sensation in my chest.

“Okay, I’ll admit it does feel good. But this is a one-time thing, got it?”

“Got it.” He nods, taking the joint back and smoking it while I sit on my bed, letting the high claim my body. I feel invigorated, my heart pumping in my chest, yet I’m strangely calm. It’s an out-of-body experience as my face is starting to numb while the rest of the nerves in my body come alive.

Can something that feels so good really be all that bad? I wonder silently, and for a split second, I don’t know if I’m talking about the drugs or Rhett.

I look at him, still smoking the joint in front of me, too preoccupied to notice I’m staring. Surely someone who claims to care so much for me couldn’t lead me astray.

My thoughts are interrupted by a giggle, a telltale sign that the weed has hit my system, but instead of feeling relaxed this time, I’m feeling aware and alert, courtesy of the cocaine, I’m sure. Rhett notices me staring at him, and I notice the hunger behind his eyes as our gazes meet. He starts rubbing his hands up and down my sides again, his touch soft yet forceful. The primal surge of energy I get is unnerving, and I move towards him, straddling his lap.

“So,” he starts, his voice heavy, “tell me about your money issues, babe.”

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