Page 51 of Find Me

An ear-to-ear smile crosses his face. “It’s nice to know how my friend talks about me behind closed doors.” He laughs. “But he’s probably not wrong.”

I sit down beside him, placing the popcorn between us. While his relaxed demeanor and big smile is reassuring, I’m still a little on edge with someone I don’t know sitting beside me.

We watch the movie in silence, and I’m careful to grab a handful of popcorn only when his hand is not also reaching for the bowl.

I wait for a lull in the movie before starting to talk.

“He said you’ve known him for a long time, and you’d do anything for him.” Not a question, but I’m curious what Ryan will say.

Ryan nods. “I’ve known him almost my whole life.”

“So why are you a little… unbalanced?” I probe with a smile.

He snorts, contemplating my question before answering.

“I guess there’s no line I wouldn’t cross to help Jax, or anyone I care about. And when it gets to the point where I feel like I need to do something, to stand up for someone, I guess I go all in,” he says thoughtfully.

I nod before asking more questions, all of which Ryan answers easily.

“And how did you guys meet?” I ask finally.

“In foster care,” Ryan says blatantly.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. I don’t know what I was expecting to get out of this conversation, but Ryan jumping straight in and divulging everything is definitely not what I thought was going to happen.

“Shit, maybe I shouldn’t be saying all this if he hasn’t told you himself,” Ryan muses, “but yeah, foster care. We were probably eight and ten years old? I had been with this family for a while before Jax showed up. He had been bounced around the system a fair bit after his mom died. With his family being the way they were there was no chance they were going to get approved for custody. So, he got put into the system pretty quickly.”

I try to ignore the sound of the movie still playing on the TV, not wanting to miss anything Ryan is telling me.

“I think people were trying to distance him from that lifestyle, not realizing that they were taking him away from people who actually cared about him, who would have loved him regardless of what the family business was. So instead, they threw him to the wolves, whether accidentally or not.” Ryan continues, “He had really bad luck with the families who took him. They were the worst of the worst, and I’m not exaggerating when I say no one could believe their eyes when Jax showed up to our house that morning. He was black and blue, covered in bruises and scars. He had been through it. And I don’t know why, maybe it was because I was so easygoing, but we hit it off right away and have been inseparable since.”

“And why did—” I start before Ryan cuts me off.

“That’s all I will say about that,” he says. “You should probably ask Jax about it if you want any more details. It’s just not my story to tell, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.” I pause, reaching for my coffee and taking another sip, not sure of what to say in response, my heart aching at the thought of Jax experiencing such abuse so young.

I look Ryan in the eyes and a unique shade of golden-brown stares back at me.

“I’m sorry you went through that. It mustn’t have been easy growing up in the system.”

“It wasn’t, but we both made it out okay. Jax saved me more than once and, as soon as we both turned eighteen, we left and made our way back to his family. He gave me a job, a place to live, and it’s been that way since.”

He smiles, grabbing another handful of popcorn and chewing loudly. “But that’s enough about me. Tell me more about you… I want to know the person who has Jax so beguiled.”

“Beguiled?”

“Beguiled,” he repeats with a smile. “It’s a nice word.”

“It’s something alright,” I say, as the sound of his laugh fills my apartment.

“There must be a reason Jax melts around you. Trust me when I say you see a very different side of him than most people do. It makes me wonder if that’s what he was like before all those years of foster care… easy going and content.”

“I don’t think there’s much to tell about me. I grew up with everything, made some really stupid choices, and here I am now. That’s the condensed version anyway.” I smile.

“Not all of your choices must have been stupid if you ended up on a couch with me.” He winks and I can’t help but laugh. “But seriously, what’s the actual story?”

I realize that I’m starting to feel more comfortable around him, his laid-back personality seemingly contagious. And just like Jax, he has the ability to make me comfortable enough to share my entire life story. I sigh.

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