Page 75 of Find Me

I smile and roll my eyes at him, only to be met with a devious look flashing across his face.

“Do that again, love, and I won’t make it out the front door,” he threatens, a familiar fire in his eyes.

“God, get a room.” Ryan chimes in with an eyeroll of his own.

The smile Jax gives me before he leaves tells me he knows exactly what he would do if we got a room right now, and butterflies stir in my stomach at the thought of us together again. I stand to clear the dishes from the kitchen table, to distract myself from the familiar pulse that gathers in my core in his presence.

“When are you going to tell him?” Ryan asks suddenly, a sly look on his face.

I look at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion. “Tell him what?”

“That you’ve got it bad for him. That you are—what’s the expression—absolutely head over heels for him?”

“I’m not. It’s not…” I start, unsure of how to vocalize exactly what I feel for Jax, my cheeks reddening in response. “It’s complicated.”

“As love often is.” Ryan laughs, knowing exactly how he is making me feel.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re annoying?”

“I’ve been called way worse, love.” He smirks.

“Do not.” I laugh as I stack the plates before bringing them to the sink and submerging them in soapy water.

Ryan follows me and leans against the counter with a grin on his face, as if he knows something I don’t.

I pause what I’m doing, the soapy water lapping at my wrists as I turn to look at him.

“What?”

“I was just thinking you might want to skip the dishes and shower first.”

Confusion flickers across my face again. “And exactly why is that, Ryan?”

“Because you smell like sex with Jax.” He laughs, a sly smirk now on his lips.

I hold my ground, not wanting to show him just how mortified I am at his observation.

“Oh, and you know what sex with Jax smells like?” I challenge, a smile of my own tilting the corners of my lips up.

“Not quite, but since I wasn’t the one bending you over the kitchen table this morning, I know that wet spot on your pants isn’t thanks to me so… after ruling out all other options, it’s safe to say that you smell like sex… with Jax.” He smiles broadly.

Embarrassment sweeps over me and my hands dart to my pants, where there is very clearly evidence of what I was doing before breakfast.

Ryan’s laughter interrupts my thoughts. “Oh, come on, Evi, after everything I saw this morning a little spot on your pants should be the least of your concerns.”

“You are insufferable to be around,” I retort lightly, drying my hands on my pants and walking out of the kitchen, headed straight for a shower as the sound of Ryan’s laughter fills the house.

CHAPTER 25

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My paintbrush moves slowly across the canvas as I sit on the floor in Jax’s bedroom. Even as the shadows of the evening start to creep in, the sun still casts a warm glow over me, making the hard floors warm under my skin. I’ve lost count of how many hours I’ve spent sitting here painting, though I know my hair stopped dripping a while ago.

The painting in front of me isn’t a person or an object, but despair and hopelessness brought to life through color, or a lack thereof. Black and gray streak across the canvas in front of me, with red splattered like blood throughout. It’s chilling and uncomfortable, but so is sitting at rock bottom.

I look at my phone, the screen coming to life with the touch of my finger and am surprised to see the time. Jax still isn’t back from wherever his business took him today, and I try not to let my mind wander to all the worst-case scenarios that are swirling below the surface. I dial the number that still holds a place in my memory, and my breath becomes shallow as I nervously wait, the phone ringing loudly in my ear.

“Why are you calling me, Evi?” Sam’s voice echoes through the phone.

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