Page 34 of Fine, Dork

I’d been entertaining this little fairy tale for the past three weeks where Jaxon and I would finally confess our undying love for each other. He’d ask me to be his girlfriend and tell me I was the only woman he’d ever loved. Then we’d get married and have babies and live happily ever after. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a mom, but the thought of Jaxon putting a baby in me had me lying awake at night with a stupid little smile.

But I’d forgotten the blatant, painful fact that I wasn’t the kind of girl Jaxon would marry, even if he did have some sort of feelings for me.

I opened my mouth to say something, but no sound came out.

“Kinley,” Jaxon’s voice was low and soft. “We’re just talking.”

I gave him a stiff nod without meeting his gaze. “Cool. I’ll uh, I’ll go grab a coffee or something and let you finish.” I flung my bag over my shoulder and gripped the handle of my rolling suitcase, already making mental plans to book a hotel as soon as I walked away.

Jaxon sighed and pulled the bag from my shoulder. He set it in his entryway, then he pried the suitcase from my grasp and did the same. Could he read my thoughts? Did he know I was getting ready to bail? “Go to JP’s. They have hazelnut lattes that you will love. I’ll meet you there in a few.”

I squared my jaw and nodded again.

“K?”

I met his gaze for a split second before looking away again.

“I missed you. I’ll be there soon. I promise.”

Deep breaths, Kinley. They’re just talking. You don’t know anything yet. I tried to calm myself as I walked away, but the gravity of the situation practically knocked the wind out of me. Jaxon owned my entire heart. Jaxon was my home. If he didn’t want me the way I wanted him, I might fly apart and drift forever without an anchor.

???

Twenty minutes later, I sat at a little two-person table outside of JP’s. I ordered a coffee, but I had no intention of drinking it. My hands already shook, and my heart already raced. Like hell I needed more caffeine. Instead of drinking from the disposable coffee cup in front of me, I drew chaotic circles on the lid with my pointer finger and chewed on my bottom lip.

I watched Jaxon approach me with a soft smile on his gorgeous face. I loved the way his hair fell across his forehead and hung in his eyes just a little. This hairstyle would drive his mom up the wall, but it looked so damn good on him. I loved the tiny bit of stubble that covered his jaw and chin and the bright blue of his eyes. I loved the white t-shirt he was wearing that said, Tabs > Spaces. God, I loved my dork.

He sank into the chair across from me and reached out to take my hand in his.

I cleared my throat and wanted to pull away from his touch—to stop my heart from breaking— but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Jaxon’s touch was everything to me. I opened my mouth to speak, and something stupid and catty came out. “How’s your girlfriend?”

Jaxon narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side. “Kinley, I told you, Savannah and I were just talking. She showed up at my place an hour ago. I had no idea she was coming.”

I chewed on my bottom lip and stared at Jaxon’s hand clasped around mine, my heart racing. “What did she want?”

Jaxon sighed and released my hand, leaning back in his chair. “I won’t lie to you, K. She wanted to get back together.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “And that conversation took an hour?” My words came out sharper than I intended.

“Why are you acting all weird? I dated her for a year, K. We had shit to unpack. I didn’t know she was coming, and I didn’t know you were getting back early. I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Right, but it still sucked to miss you like crazy for three weeks and then see her sitting in your damn living room!” Chill, Kinley. You’re blowing this up.

Jaxon squared his jaw, and anger flashed through his pretty blue eyes. “Did it suck, K? Really? How the hell do you think it felt for me watching you—” He stopped mid-sentence and ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What, Jaxon? Watching me what?”

“Nothing, Kinley. You have your fair share of ex-boyfriends, and it’s not cool for you to give me this much shit about talking to one of my exes.”

He was right, but I didn’t like his tone. It sounded like he was lecturing me, and that pissed me right off. I took a deep breath. I was tired from traveling and weirdly emotional. “Sorry.” I cleared my throat and looked away. Could I still salvage this homecoming, or was it completely fucked now?

Jaxon sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Can I give you a little more honesty without you blowing up at me?”

“What?” I narrowed my eyes at him.

Jaxon covered his face with both hands and pulled them away to give me a pleading look. “A little bit more than talking happened. She… Savannah kissed me right after you left. I swear to god I didn’t kiss her back, and then I told her to leave—"

“Stop.” I held up my hand. I didn’t want to hear any more of Jaxon’s words. I was so fucking stupid. J would never actually want me. He wouldn’t. There was no way, not when brilliant, gorgeous girls like Savannah were throwing themselves at him. I was hot mess Kinky Kinley.

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