Page 31 of Of Course, Cutie

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Burke. I loved every second of it. I want it. I want you.” Did I sound pathetic to him right now?

He shook his head. “You don’t want that, Charlie. I don’t want that for you.” Burke paced in front of the stairs. “I never should have kissed you. I shouldn’t have told you that I wanted you. I don’t know what I was thinking. This isn’t going to happen.”

I bit my lip and stared at the ground. “Is it really so bad that I’ve never had sex before? Does that make you not want me?”

Burke stopped pacing and gave me a pained look. “No, cutie. It makes me want—" He covered his mouth with one hand and growled some almost incoherent words, but I thought I caught “probably so fucking tight.” Burke let out a deep breath. “You should go home, Charlie. We can’t do this.”

I glared at him. “You’re kind of being an asshole about me being a virgin. I thought you’d be a tiny bit nicer about it instead of making me feel stupid.”

Burke surprised me and laughed. “Good. Think I’m an asshole and stay away from me, cutie. You deserve better than a grumpy-ass, thirty-five-year-old divorced bartender.”

He turned to walk away, but I called after him. “Do you think I can’t handle it? Do you think I’m a stupid kid, Burke?”

“Charlie,” Burke shook his head and gave me a molten look. Then his eyes hardened, and his posture changed. “You couldn’t handle it, and you are a kid. I’m going to get back to work, and you should go home before your brother comes out here and wonders what in the hell I’m doing with his kid sister.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, you’re an ass.”

Burke laughed and headed up the stairs. “Yes, I am. Night, cutie.”

Tears of embarrassment burned my eyes as I slipped out the back gate and headed for my car. God, that was humiliating! I’d never tell a guy I was a virgin again! I called Matteo because that was what we did when we were upset. We called each other and bitched.

“Hey, beautiful!” He answered, sounding way too fucking happy.

“Mattie! I told him I was a virgin, and then he wouldn’t even touch me and told me to stay away from him! I’m so embarrassed! I want to die!” I climbed into my car and drove straight home.

“Aw, honey! What was he doing right before you told him?”

I sniffled. “Why does that matter?”

“Just tell me!” I could almost hear Matteo’s eye roll.

“Uh, he shoved me up against the wall and was kissing me and touching me and saying sexy things.”

“Oh, damn. Explain that in more detail, please.”

“You dirty whore.” I laughed despite my tears.

“K, Charlotte, he wants you, but he’s conflicted. And it’s a lot of pressure to take someone’s virginity. I’m probably going to be in the same boat here with Jonah soon, and I’m stressed! I want to give him an amazing first time, but there’s always the chance I’ll screw it up. Your man is scared and conflicted, but He. Wants. You. Give him a little time and keep reassuring him that you want him, too.”

I blew out a breath. “So, patience?”

Matteo laughed. “Ugh. That is the theme of both of our love lives right now, isn’t it?”

“I hate it. Are you at work, boo?”

“Yes. I don’t get off until 11.”

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

“Duh. Come over as soon as you wake up. We can watch movies and eat junk food because I’m exhausted this week.” Matteo paused, “Is that okay?”

“That sounds perfect, Mattie. You know you don’t have to turn on your dazzle for me.” Matteo spent most of his time making people laugh and being the life of the party. But every once in a while, he burned himself out and needed to do absolutely nothing. Those “nothing” moments were some of my favorites with him.

“Thank you, love. It’s a relief to be blah sometimes. Okay, a customer just walked in. Gottagobye.”

I slid my phone into my back pocket and rested my forehead against my steering wheel. Patience. Burke wanted me. I’d leave him alone for a few days and then try to approach the subject again.

I headed inside to find my mom on the couch in tears. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach. She’d been holding it together so well lately, but the holidays were rough. Her head whipped up when I walked into the room. “Charlie! Hey, honey!” She tried to wipe her tears, but I sank next to her and pulled her into my arms.

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