Page 18 of Sure, Pal

“You can’t, but do you?” His hand brushed against my arm, and I backed away again. I wanted to fall into his arms, but I couldn’t. “Okay, if you feel nothing for me, say it. If you feel something, then don’t say anything.”

I stared at my feet, letting the silence wash over us — a silence that said everything. Finally, I looked up and whispered. “Take me home, please. You have another heart to break tonight.”

Fuck. I should have told Ava. What kind of shit friend was I?

???

An hour after Evan dropped me off, Ava burst through my front door, sobbing her little heart out. I stood frozen on the stairs. He did it. Evan broke up with her. He dropped me off and got right to ripping out Ava’s heart.

I felt sick to my stomach.

“Aves…” I almost whispered.

Ava leaned against my closed front door, sucking in air between sobs. “He broke up… with me.”

I hurried down the stairs and let Ava fall into my arms. What could I possibly say to her right now? My heart was a big pot bubbling over with messy and confusing emotions. Hope mixed with sadness. Excitement swirled into guilt.

I loved Ava. I loved Evan. I hated myself.

“He doesn’t love me! He doesn’t…” Ava sobbed into my shoulder.

“Let’s go upstairs, Aves.” My mom was busy in her studio with her music blasting. We wouldn’t disturb her, but my dad was working on his laptop in the kitchen, and I could already hear the screech of the chair sliding away from the table. He was coming to tell us to keep it down, and it wouldn’t be politely. My house still simmered with his anger.

I took Ava’s hand and led her up to my bedroom, closing the door behind us. She collapsed on my bed and cried, “I don’t understand! I was the perfect girlfriend. I was fucking perfect, Si!”

I was practically choking on my guilt, but I shoved it down. I didn’t do anything wrong. I could have, but I didn’t. I stayed loyal to Ava even though it broke my heart.

I didn’t do anything wrong, and I never would.

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