Page 37 of Just a Little in Love

Daddy smiled. “Nope. Baby Bear can come, of course, but I meant Bear. It will be a safe space.” He kissed Rowan on the nose. "We will talk some more when we get home from the signing, but I want you there early so I can get you settled." Daddy nudged Rowan to get up and then, taking him by the hand, led him to their bedroom. Daddy hummed to himself and went to the closet where Rowan’s things were. “Way too cold for shorts, even though you would look super-cute.”

Rowan gaped. Daddy was picking out his clothes? And Rowan bit his lip hard to keep from crying, blinking rapidly. This was his best day ever.

“What about these?” He took out Rowan’s comfy cargo pants with all the pockets, a Buzz Lightyear tee, and a matching red sweater that was really soft and warm.

Rowan nodded enthusiastically, but then watched as Daddy walked to the bathroom. “We can keep a couple of spare pads in the car. What do you think?”

And suddenly he didn’t want them. He didn’t want them ever again. He hated them. They weren’t sexy or cute. They were just a constant reminder of his shame. “I don’t need them.”

“You sure?” Daddy asked carefully, walking back in. “I think they’re sexy.”

Rowan shook his head quite violently. He had to be saying that to make him feel better, but he hadn’t had any accidents during the day this week. He wanted to be normal. He wanted Daddy to be proud of him. He wanted…

I want him to love me. Desperately, irrevocably.

Rowan couldn’t speak as that knowledge ran around his brain and Daddy chuckled, oblivious to the thoughts Rowan faced. “Okay baby boy, let’s get you dressed.” And he did. Daddy wore dress pants, a blue shirt, and a dark blue jacket and looked totally gorgeous, and Rowan shook off his worries and decided he was going to have a good time. They drove to the bookstore, and he was so excited. Charlie and Dash were his best friends, and this felt like a grown-up little event, which sounded really silly, but when he repeated it to Daddy, Daddy thought it was perfect.

Just like him, Daddy said. And Rowan almost floated into the bookstore. They’d gotten there early because Max was expecting a big crowd, and Max had arranged a small area nearly hidden by the tall bookcases where during the day toddlers could stay and play while listening to someone read the stories out loud. In fact, Max was arranging a special little story time when Tiffany Nightshade could come and read to them like she did the kids once a month, except this time they could be their little selves and enjoy it.

It was exciting and Rowan was so happy. Daddy wanted him. He wanted all of him. They had to talk some more, but for the first time Rowan allowed himself to believe this was real.

They all colored or read quietly while the store steadily filled up. Rowan had elected to stay in their corner with Dash and Charlie while Daddy went to meet Emily Jade and get his books signed.

“Daddy,” Dash said from where he was peeking through the shelves. “There’s a lot of people in here.” Rowan heard the worry in Dash’s voice, and looked at Daddy Jensen, but his Daddy also heard the anxiety in Dash’s voice and drew him back to the sofa and onto his lap. Rowan peeked through the shelves as well and saw it was nearly Daddy’s turn to meet the author, and before he thought about it, he rushed over to stand with him. If he’d been in any doubt Daddy hadn’t wanted him there, it was soon dispelled by the way Daddy smiled and reached for his hand, tucking him close and then introducing them both to the author. Rowan was a little too star-struck to do anything but smile, but soon Daddy not only had his books signed but also Emily’s personal email address so they could talk about the business.

Daddy was thrilled and even kissed Rowan in full view of everyone. Daddy got snagged by Daddy Caleb to help with refreshments and Rowan turned back to the little space only to run smack dab into someone.

Rowan opened his mouth to apologize to the young man, only to hear a loud grunt as Master Paul, of all people, sent him a furious gaze and immediately began petting the man as if he was checking for injuries. “There sweetheart, did the big, clumsy man scare you? Are you hurt?”

It took Rowan a second longer than it should have to realize that Master Paul meant him, and he gazed at the blond-haired, blue-eyed boy letting Master Paul fuss all over him, at the same time as Master Paul kept shooting glares at Rowan. “You need to be more careful,” he hissed. “You can’t just barge into people like that.”

Rowan froze and at the same time, images filled his head of him crawling around on the floor on a leash being made to drink water from a dog’s bowl, and his final humiliation of collapsing in front of the whole club. He glanced down because he felt sudden warmth on the front of his pants and stared at the spreading wet stain on the front.

Rowan made some sort of wounded noise, turned, and bolted for the bathroom. It was ruined. His whole night was ruined. Everyone had probably seen. He’d embarrassed Daddy in front of people he admired, and he would never forgive him. He would never love him. What had he been thinking? He locked himself in the stall and glanced down at his wet pants. He couldn’t have held back the sobs if his life depended on it.

Chapter nineteen

Gabriel looked up when he heard his name and saw Charlie coming toward him. “Something happened with Rowan. He’s locked himself in the bathroom and he won’t answer me.” Heart in his boots, Gabriel excused himself from the other two aspiring authors he was talking to, and took a step forwards, only to be blocked by a young woman he vaguely recognized.

“Master Gabriel,” she murmured discreetly, and his attention narrowed at her use of his title. Not that he’d been surprised to see many club members, as Max and Caleb were popular. “He bumped into that young man and the other man’s master was quite rude. It was no one’s fault.”

Gabriel glanced over and swore. Paul fucking Dennison was all over a boy so tiny he looked like a stiff breeze would take him out. Knowing that bastard was still smarting from the “advice” he’d no doubt gotten from Adrian, he had probably berated Rowan in front of everyone. With a heartfelt thanks to the young woman, he dashed to the bathroom. Charlie was hovering by the door but stayed outside. Gabriel pushed through, noting two stalls and a sink. One was clearly empty and the other was shut. The muffled sob echoed in the quiet room, and his heart squeezed. “Baby boy, it’s Daddy.” He used both names deliberately.

Silence.

“Rowan, sweetheart, please open the door.”

More silence. Gabriel glanced at the outer door. People were leaving. There could be anyone coming in here very soon. “Baby boy, someone else coming in this bathroom won’t stop me calling you that. So, if you want this conversation to be private, I suggest you open the door.”

He hated to use threats, but the possibility of someone coming in was very real.

He heard Rowan move, then the door unlocked, and he opened it a crack. Much as Gabriel wanted to put his arms around him and protect him from the world, he simply took off his jacket. Rowan had his pants buttoned, but Gabriel could see they were wrinkled and wet. “We can either ask Max if he has some clothes, or you can just put this on as if you’re cold. It’s big and long enough to cover you until we get to the car.”

Rowan raised a tear-stained face and nodded, so Gabriel quickly guided him to the sink to wash his hands and then dressed him in the jacket and buttoned it. He clutched Rowan to his side as they left. Charlie smiled and silently handed him a towel and Bear. Gabriel had no idea where he’d gotten the towel from, but he shot him a grateful smile, clutched it tightly, and steered Rowan out and to the car. But Rowan stopped dead when he opened the door. “The seat, Daddy,” he whispered, cringing. Gabriel quickly put the towel down, grateful for Charlie’s thoughtfulness, and didn’t give Rowan much choice about getting in, then fastened his seat belt and gave him the bear to hold.

“We’ll be home in twenty minutes, baby,” he said. “Then Daddy will take care of you.”

Rowan didn’t reply, just stared miserably out the window. Gabriel turned the heat up because he must feel uncomfortable and in fifteen very long and silent minutes, they were home. Gabriel started unbuttoning the jacket as soon as he’d locked the door, slipped Rowan’s shoes off along with his, and took him straight into their bathroom, only letting go long enough to start the shower. He needed warming up, and Gabriel wasn’t waiting for the bath.

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