Philip looked shocked, and they locked gazes. Gabriel wasn’t interested in any sort of pissing contest, but Rowan needed protection. After a few seconds, Philip’s shoulders sagged and Gabriel understood. Philip had failed to protect his son as a child and having that pointed out would be rough. Not, Gabriel thought, that he deserved it easy, even if he was stepping up now.
“Rowan,” Philip said. “Much as I hate to acknowledge everything, I agree with Gabriel. Until this whole mess is behind us, I think your mom needs to keep her distance.”
“Mother,” Rowan said quietly. “I was never allowed to call her mom.”
Philip Wilson winced. Not that Gabriel thought Rowan meant it as a criticism of his dad; he was just repeating a fact.
Gabriel took Rowan’s hand, glad he was sitting next to him. He didn’t care what Philip saw, and Rowan clutched it like a lifeline. “Have you heard from the detectives?”
Philip looked almost defeated. “They cannot prove an intent to harm, merely negligence.”
Gabriel leaned forward and took off his mental gloves. “I cannot do anything about other children. That I have to leave to the cops. I didn’t know her, but you can be damn sure going forward I won’t let her harm a hair on Rowan’s head. And that includes emotional manipulation.”
He didn’t look at Rowan, just held his hand. Philip met his gaze without backing down and because of that, he earned some of Gabriel’s respect. Then Philip grinned ruefully. “I have a feeling my son has someone in his corner that would give my ex-wife a run for her money.” He turned to Rowan. “What do you want to happen?”
Rowan paled to have the spotlight on him, but in this Gabriel didn’t think he could run interference. Bullying came in many forms, even lovingly.
…lovingly?
His thoughts seemed to shatter into a million pieces with the word he had just used, and it took a moment to focus on Rowan. Gabriel sensed he’d been quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” Rowan said at last. “Mother scares me, but I know she’s always wanted what’s best…” His words trailed off and he looked at Gabriel with such anguish he had to pull him closer.
Rowan had just implied what they all knew. It wasn’t love. At its best it was manipulation, and at its worst, she needed to be locked away. There were plenty of other words he could use if necessary as well. Rowan’s breath hitched and in another moment, tears were streaming down his face. He cried and Gabriel thanked his lucky stars he had managed to get a table out of the way. It took Philip a second to work out what was happening, but then he angled his body protectively to shield them both.
Gabriel even felt a little sorry for him. Not enough to relinquish his hold on Rowan, but enough to acknowledge his heart may be in the right place…finally.
Rowan got himself together. He seemed to know there was only so much Gabriel could do in such a public place.
Keeping his arms around Rowan, Gabriel asked, “Can I leave you to arrange the restraining order?”
“Absolutely,” Philip said, seeming grateful to be able to do something. Gabriel started to pass on Patrick’s info to get Rowan’s things back, but Philip hardened his jaw. “Not necessary.” He leaned forward and patted Rowan’s hand. “Leave that to me. You should also be able to access your funds but let me know if the bank decides to be an ass.” He glanced at Gabriel. “Please have Rowan call me later. I’ll be in touch when I’ve spoken to the lawyer.” He patted Rowan's hand a second time and Gabriel watched him go.
Gabriel turned to Rowan and pressed a kiss on his head. He had a feeling things were going to get a lot worse before they had a hope of getting better.
Chapter eighteen
Four days later, they’d settled into a routine. The restraining order was in place. Daddy had changed Rowan’s number and the only people that had it were his father, Daddy, Charlie, Daddy Patrick, and the lawyer. The police also had it, but Rowan was pretty sure they would only contact him if they couldn’t get hold of his dad.
They’d gone out with his dad and Hilary, and she had been really kind, but when she asked Rowan what he wanted to do with his degrees, the answer was simply he didn’t know. If he was honest, college was an escape from his mother, and at the time from his dad as well. Now he just didn’t know what to do with them.
Rowan was living his best life with Daddy though, but for the last few days, there had been something more he wanted. Or maybe something missing. Daddy had followed up that first kiss with many more. Rowan slept in his arms every night and even had naps tucked against Daddy. Daddy was still getting hard and now that Rowan’s pads were a lot slimmer than the pull-ups and he only wore them for safety when he went out or at night, well, Rowan was able to feel a lot more.
He'd ignored his body for so long because it was a source of shame. Mother told him so often that he mustn’t be “dirty” that he often wondered how on earth she’d gotten pregnant with him in the first place. He had his first appointment with a new doctor soon. He didn’t know whether to be excited or overwhelmed. So much was changing.
And he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and tried really, really, hard to see what it was that Daddy saw.
And failed.
All he saw was fat, weak, and pathetic. In fact, he was so mired in his own misery that he didn’t realize he wasn’t alone until Daddy put his arms around him. It was only when Rowan whirled around and pushed into Daddy that Daddy loosened his arms to let him move. “Baby? Are you hurting?”
He shook his head quite forcefully but kept his face pressed into Daddy’s chest. “Then what is it, baby boy?”
Dare he say? What if it was true? Would it be better to know now? “Why am I here?” he whispered.
Daddy stayed silent a long time, then sighed. “I think this is my fault.” Rowan’s heart dived to his boots and slithered away. He’d known. He’d known the whole time, really. “I think I’m sending you mixed signals.”
Rowan nodded. Of course. He could go. Go live somewhere. He had money. He just didn’t know where to go. “I’m sorry, Dad—Master Gabriel.” He’d better get used to it. Not that he could ever go back to the club. The thought of seeing Daddy with another boy made him want to crawl into a hole and die.
Daddy seemed quiet for a very long time, but then let him go and grabbed the light blue fluffy robe that had magically appeared for him and wrapped Rowan up. “Where is your safe space to talk?”