Page 38 of Save Me

“It’s exquisite,” I whisper, “everything a girl could ask for in a room. Would you bring your mistresses here?”

“No. They do not come here at all!” he replies, with a slight irritation to his voice, as though angered that I would even think such a thing. “That would be distasteful, and as I have explained, all Mayfield men are brought up to be gentlemen.”

I cross my arms in front of my chest defensively, trying to make sense of that thought. Of being married to a man who wants to possess me so desperately yet would feel the need to have a mistress.

“I’m not sure you can say having a mistress at all is particularly gentlemanly, is it?”

What the hell, Beth?! Having a mistress keeps him away from you!

As I silently berate myself for opening my big mouth, for giving into curiosity that will most certainly end up killing me, I see him glance at the floor with a slow, satisfied smile. After a few moments of amusement, he raises his eyes back to meet mine. He’s seemingly pleased by my abhorrence over having other women on the scene, most likely mistaking my curiosity for jealousy.

I look away to avoid giving him any other false impressions or risking his wrath. Before I know it, his hands reach for mine to pull me in closer to him, making the moment suddenly very intimate. He leans in so close I fear he is going to kiss me. Instead, he moves his face to my neck and takes a long, slow inhale.

“You smell…delicious,” he whispers, “I could eat you, Beth!”

The tip of his tongue begins to run down my neck, and I close my eyes, terrified of where this is going. His hands let go of mine, and for the first time since being with him, I instantly want to grab hold of them again, if only to stop them from going anywhere else. Becoming frozen solid like a statue, because my mind cannot fathom doing anything else, his greedy grip runs down my waist and onto my hips, at the same time as his entire body sinks to the floor in front of me. He remains kneeling upon his knees so that his face is right in front of my most intimate area.

We look at one another and I see his eyes turn dark and hungry like a wolf on the prowl of something; something that doesn’t belong to him. I give him my most pleading look, one to try and convince him not to move any further, but I can tell from the blackness spreading over his usual azure blue eyes, he’s already lost to it. When they finally move away from mine, making my blood turn ice cold, he sinks his nose between my thighs and breathes me in. My mouth opens to gasp, but no sound comes out, even when he begins to move his face from side to side. He starts to moan like he’s in agonizing pain and his fingers press more tightly into my hip bones. They dig in so hard, I’m convinced he’ll leave bruises behind, effectively branding me with his powerful grip.

I can feel tears trickling over my cheeks when his hands move upward and begin massaging at my breasts. A place no man has ever touched before and certainly not with the painful pressure with which he is working them. When a sound finally escapes from my lips, he chuckles between my thighs; a sound that is both low and menacing.

“Please,” I finally whimper, “please, Oliver, I’m not ready!”

It takes him a while to stop nuzzling the apex of my legs, but when he does, it’s to stand tall before me and cup my face between his hands. I’m not sure which is worse, the groping or the look of adoration marring his usually stern expression. He smiles softly as he wipes away my tears with his thumbs. The fact that he put them there seems to be absent from his sudden need to comfort me.

“Relax, Beth,” he whispers, “I’m saving you for our wedding night, but…” He stops to bite down on his lip before emitting a hiss between his teeth. “I want you so fucking bad!”

As he slams his lips onto mine, taking a first from me and without any words of warning, I reluctantly reciprocate, knowing that if I don’t, he’ll be angry with me again. Given that he’s told me he wants to wait, I decide it’s best to try and keep his decision as it is. I do not wish to irritate him to the point where he’ll change his mind and take me whether I agree to it or not.

“I don’t need to have a mistress if I have you, Beth,” he mutters, before moaning into my mouth again. “But I gotta warn you,” he growls, and presses his hard arousal against my sex, which hasn’t felt so intruded upon since I first started using tampons, “I’m a very sexual man, with very sexual needs, and I will expect you to satisfy them. Do you understand me?” My eyes are wide and glassy. I know it because they’re stinging through the loss of my ability to blink. However, I simply nod to try and stop him from pressing the issue any further.

“Good girl,” he whispers before planting a softer kiss against my lips. I instantly cringe over his praise for my submission.

Much to my relief, we then exit the room, and he leads me back downstairs. We stop before the front doors, where he opens them up onto the driveway. The kindly driver is waiting for us, smiling in his friendly way, but soon changes his expression to one of concern when he takes in my huddled body and tear-stained face. Knowing better than to say anything, he simply waits there, holding the back door open for my escape.

“You’ve done well today, Beth,” Oliver says as he picks up my hand to kiss the inside of my wrist. “Until next Sunday.”

“Thank you for dinner,” I mumble politely before getting in the car.

The driver closes the door, and we finally pull away from the monster who just groped me without feeling any need to seek my permission. The man I will soon call my husband. As soon as we are out of his view, I angrily swipe away at my tears again, taking in deep breaths to try and prevent any more from escaping.

“Hey, you ok, sweetheart?” the driver asks with concern written all over his face as he glances at me through the mirror. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, I’m fine, honestly,” I lie as I sniff back more sobs.

Please don’t be kind to me! I’m trying so hard to keep it all inside, and you’re being much too nice!

“I’m supposed to take you home, that ok with you?” he asks, no doubt sensing that I’d rather go somewhere else; somewhere I can let go before having to act fine over everything. A place where I don’t have to face the man who put me in this nightmarish position. A place where I won’t have to face my mother who I desperately want to break down to, if only so I can feel her hug me and tell me that it’s all going to be alright.

“Er…no, take me to North Beach, will you?” I ask, feeling desperate to find a friend who already understands what’s going on. Someone who is the next best thing to being my mother.

“Where the stoners hang out?” he asks with a frown of disbelief.

“Yes,” I nod to confirm, even though they’re not stoners, and normally I would pull out my cat claws to defend them. However, today, my claws have been firmly clipped, back there in a place that will soon be my new home and prison. “Please, just please, can you take me there?”

“Sure, honey,” he says with his affectionate smile again, “will be there in about twenty.”

“Thank you,” I whisper and begin to relax a little over the prospect of seeing not only Annie and Bodhi, but also the calming waves of the ocean.

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