Page 102 of My Brother's Teammates

I can’t tell if it’s my captain speaking, or our friend, but I’m choosing to believe it’s both, and keeping the faith that there’s a solution to this mess we’ve all found ourselves in. Is there a way for us to reconcile with both Harrison and Charlotte?

If we convince Charlotte to come home, but we can’t get Harrison on board, what would that mean for the team? What about Jace? Would Charlotte still want Mateo and me if Jace wasn’t interested? Or would she pursue something with him instead of us? I know what he said, but will Teo still want me if Charlotte isn’t part of the equation?

Fuck.

My brain is going to explode with the unanswered questions. I pinch the bridge of my nose, but it does little to help the throbbing in my temples.

I can’t focus on the rest of the game. Flashes of Mateo taking the bone-crunching hit and falling to the ice are playing on repeat in my mind as my chest gets tighter and tighter.

When the game’s over, Mateo and I are going to have a talk.

By the time the final buzzer sounds, we’re down four to nothing, but the resolve in the pit of my stomach is stronger than ever. I’ve been a passenger in this game, an observer, a fucking bystander. I’ve got to do something. We have to do something.

I don’t know how, and it might get me a broken jaw, but we’ve gotta get the band back together. All of us.

THIRTY-SEVEN

Mateo

Either that was the worst game ever, or I got hit in the head way harder than I thought. Although, since they just cleared me from a concussion, I don’t think that’s the case.

I push my way back into the locker room with a grimace. While I may not have an official brain injury, I do have a wicked fucking headache, and the guys are loud as fuck. They’re pissed, I get it. We lost. By a lot.

Roman should have been guarding the net tonight, not Rhys. He wasn’t anywhere near ready, and Roman has been on fire all season. Or at least, he was. Charlotte leaving the apartment—and us—has us all shaken to our cores. We’re all playing terribly.

We miss our girl, we miss each other, and none of us have our heads in the game.

Even Harrison, who’s doing his best to ignore us all, is drawing up more penalty minutes than time with the puck.

“How’s the head?” Jace’s question greets me before I can get to my locker, his eyes downcast, doing very little to hide the bruises under his eyes and along his jaw.

The state of his face wouldn’t be so jarring if Jace managed to show up at the apartment every now and then. I’m sure he has his reasons, but he hasn’t been back since he left to search for Harrison. It’s been lonely. Confusing.

There’s a big part of me that’s glad the secrets are all in the open, but it would have been better had it been on our terms. We should have invited Harrison over and explained everything. And we should have done it sooner rather than later.

I’m not sure if we could’ve avoided this entire thing, but the hurt would be less.

It’s not necessarily the secrets themselves that are the most hurtful, but the fact that there were secrets in the first place. That’s where the betrayal lies.

After finding out about my dad’s secret life, our family was devastated, so I can understand what Harrison is feeling. He’s angry, sure, but he trusted us, and we broke that trust. We lied to him. We selfishly held onto the truth. We shattered the safety he felt with each and every one of our friendships.

We did that.

And I knew better. I knew what secrets could do, the harm they could cause, and I kept them anyway.

I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive myself.

“Fine.” I move to nod, but there’s a growing pain at the back of my head, so I try to smile instead. “Clean bill of health.”

He does nod, that fucker, and raises his eyes to meet mine. They’re bloodshot, and I’d bet my entire year’s salary that he hasn’t slept for the past couple of nights. “You had me worried for a sec.”

Normally I’d make a joke or say something extra clever, but after the beating I’ve taken—both on and off the ice—I don’t have it in me. “Me, too. We’ve missed you around the apartment.”

I manage to get the words out without the emotion clogging my throat strangling me. This has been a hard few days.

Roman and I have had each other, and I’m not going to lie, I’ve enjoyed getting to know him and exploring our relationship beyond a simple friendship, but it’s not the same. We both miss Charlotte and Jace. Yes, Jace. He’s grumpy and likes to pretend he doesn’t give a shit, but he’s got a bigger heart than all of us, and he’s a part of our family. The four of us are a unit. Well, we were a unit. I have no idea where we stand, or how we move on.

But I can tell you, it’s not like this.

---