Page 96 of My Brother's Teammates

I shake my head, my eyes blurring with unshed tears. “I don’t know what any of this means, Ro. Do you want me for me? Or do you just want me because she was here?”

My voice cracks at the raw vulnerability spilling from my mouth, and it feels like tiny cuts all over my body. My gaze falls, and I end up staring at the bridge of his nose. If he’s going to shred the rest of my heart, I’m not sure I can watch him do it.

“Look at me, Teo.”

I’m terrified that if I look up, if I stare into those dark brown eyes I love so much, I’ll see nothing but regret. I can’t lose Charlie, Harrison, and Roman. It’ll be too much.

But he’s not letting me hide.

He grabs my chin with a firm hand, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Look. At. Me.” He squeezes his fingers, sending a bite of pain into my jaw. “Let me ask you this.”

Oh… God. My stomach tightens, my breathing quickens.

“Do you still want to explore a relationship between us even if Charlotte never comes back?”

Mouth dry, I nod.

“Use your words, Mateo.”

Pulling my head out of his hand, I clear my throat, heat building all over my body as he doesn’t drop his gaze. It’s not the first time I’ve seen our laidback goaltender step into a leading role, but it’s the first time since this spark between us ignited. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but I think I like it.

“I know you’ve fallen for her, but do you still want me if Charlotte isn’t part of the equation?”

“You think I only want you because of Charlotte?” My voice breaks, and I clear my throat.

“You think I only want you because of her, too.”

God help me, but I do.

Roman is a good man, way better than me, and he deserves someone more. Being with me comes with so many complications, so many risks he’ll have to take. Outing our relationship to the world, to our families, won’t be easy. It’s a lot to ask if he’s only looking for a good time.

There’s literally nothing stopping him from going back to the way his life was before. I’m usually self-assured, confident, hell, even cocky. But here, in this relationship, this situation of cosmic consequence, I have no fucking clue which way is up.

I try to slow my breathing, but my heartbeat still races, my blood whooshes in my ears.

“I need to hear you say it. I need to know I’m not…” He swallows, shrugging. “I dunno, I guess that I’m not a backup.”

He needs to know he’s my first choice.

I get it.

This thing between us happened so fast that we never really got to talk about it. Nothing was ever defined. We were along for the ride until it was real. Until things become complicated. He’s just as important to me as Charlotte is. They’re both equal, but separate at the same time, and one isn't contingent on the other.

Despite the raging storm of emotions inside me, I give him a lazy smile. “You’ll always be my starting netminder, Ro. And no matter what happens with Charlotte…” I swallow, her name tasting bitter on the back of my tongue. “I want you. I want her with us, but if she chooses not to be, I still want you.”

“What about…?” He scrapes his jaw with his palm. “I mean.” He heaves in a breath. “Do you…?”

I hook a knuckle under his jaw. “Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, yes, that. Do you?”

I cover his mouth with my finger. “Yes, Roman Noah Martinez. I would like that very much.” I can’t help the smile spreading across my face.

Boyfriend.

We have a label. Officially.

Surely it should feel weirder than this.

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