Page 1 of Hidden Truths

First Day

Arabella

TODAY’S THE FIRST day I’ll be on the campus of High Point University. Nerves fill me at the thought of being so close to those who have turned their back on me for the last eight years. People in town who once talked to me, the kids I played with, and the family I used to have. Now, I’m all alone. I’ve got my mother, though I’m nothing more than her punching bag and the person she uses to take out all of her anger, defeat, and withdrawals on. The only other person in my life is my baby brother, Vinnie. He’s my entire world, and I don’t know where he’d be if it weren’t for me. Everything I do is for him and no one else. Ever.

However, before I can go to school, I have to take care of my brother and somehow manage to walk to the campus earlier than my first class. I received an email about a meeting with the Dean before my classes begin. I’m not sure why it couldn’t have been done when I was there for orientation, but I’m not the one who sets up the meetings. So, I’ve gotten up even earlier than expected in order to get myself ready before waking Vinnie up. I’ve got to bathe and change him before making sure he has breakfast. I’m not about to send him to Mrs. Andrews without having his breakfast. She already does so much for us.

Mrs. Andrews is our neighbor. She’s literally the only person in town who talks to me. She also can’t stand my mother. Between the men coming through the house as if we have a rotating door, the drugs and alcohol, and knowing I’m the only one who takes care of anything, Mrs. Andrews refuses to have anything to do with my mother. I can’t honestly say I blame her, either. If I were old enough and in a position to take my brother out of the house, I would in a heartbeat. There’s no thinking about leaving. The only reason I’m still here is because of Vinnie. He needs me and I’m not going to give up on him. I’ll never make him feel as if he doesn’t mean the world to me.

Racing around the house, I make sure my bag’s packed and ready to go while putting Vinnie’s bottle in to heat. By the time I have him bathed and dressed for the day, his bottle will be cool enough for him to drink. I usually use a small amount of his formula to mix up his cereal. With no guidance from anyone as to how to take care of my baby brother, I’ve had to learn through trial and error. My only hope is that he doesn't hate me when he gets older. That he realizes how much I’ve sacrificed and done for him in order to protect him from our abusive mother.

Vinnie and I share a room in the small, rundown house. Walking inside, I take in the peeling paint, messed up carpeting, and everything else we’re lacking in the house because there’s simply no money for us to make any repairs. Hell, the landlord can’t be bothered to come here unless it’s to collect the rent on a monthly basis. If I even attempt to call him for anything being wrong, I never hear back from him. It’s as if he doesn’t realize he’s supposed to ensure the houses and apartments he rents out remain in livable conditions. Just one more thing to be angry about while not being able to change it.

Walking over to the crib I’ve pushed up against the wall as far from the window as I can get it, I take a second to just look at Vinnie. He’s so sweet and innocent, not having any prejudices or hatred filling his heart. I hope he always remains this way while I know it’s not a realistic thought. I finally reach in to pull back the blanket covering his body. Vinnie flinches at the chill in the air of our room. Lifting him in my arms, I let him snuggle into me as I rush to the bathroom. Grabbing the baby tub Mrs. Andrews got him, I set it in the tub before turning on the water to just above lukewarm and undressing Vinnie. The cool air chills his little body as I watch goosebumps break out over his pale skin.

“I’m so sorry, baby. If I could make it warmer in here, I would,” I whisper to him, not wanting to wake up my mother on the off chance she’s actually here.

Not wanting to get Vinnie sick, I quickly bathe him and wrap him up in a warm, fuzzy towel I managed to snag from the second-hand store in town. I can barely see his eyes as I rush back to our room and get him dressed. I’ve gotten good enough to have his morning routine down to a matter of minutes so I can get him as warm as possible before taking him outside and next door. I’m thankful Mrs. Andrews’ house has good heating for these chilly mornings before the sun can warm the world around us up.

Feeding Vinnie his cereal after making his bottle, I lay him back in the crib with the bottle so I can make sure his diaper bag is ready to go and double check my bookbag one more time. I’m very anal about being over-prepared for class and when it comes to Vinnie. I’d rather overpack for him than have missed putting in something crucial Mrs. Andrews will need while taking care of him for me. I don’t ever want to have our neighbor spend money she doesn’t have to because I was in a hurry or simply didn’t think about something my brother would need while he’s in her care.

With my baby brother done eating and me going through everything again, I grab his winter jacket that’s seen better days and get Vinnie bundled up in it. His jacket is so threadbare it doesn’t really do much to ensure he’s warm and protected from the chill in the air. I don’t have the money to get him something new right now though. Our mother once again stole my money and I have nothing left. Vinnie needs things and now has to go without once again. I’m going to have to get a second job just to keep money in my possession so he has what he needs.

After getting Vinnie bundled up, I grab his diaper bag and my bookbag. Slinging both of them over my shoulders, I wince as they pull down on the bruising and cuts I’ve got on my body from the latest attack my mother launched against me. There are cuts on my neck, face, chest, and shoulders from her. The bruising is in the same spots and there’s no way for me to cover them up. I don’t have make-up because it’s so expensive and I wouldn’t know how to put it on anyway, and trying to wear clothing to cover my face would only make me stand out even more. I want to do nothing more than blend in and remain anonymous this year.

Grabbing Vinnie, I make my way silently out of the house and over to Mrs. Andrews’ house. She’s already waiting for me with the door open as I step up on her rickety porch.

“Good morning, Arabella. Are you excited for your first day of college?” she asks as I walk in her house and turn to face her.

“I am. But, I’m also nervous. I can’t thank you enough for watching Vinnie while I go to school and work,” I tell her, a smile on my face as she finally gets the door shut and turns to face me.

“Dear, what happened to you?” she gasps while reaching out to touch my face and neck where the marks are. “Did she do this to you again?”

Mrs. Andrews knows what I suffer through in that house. The only reason she hasn’t done anything about it is because I know if we’re removed from my mother’s care, I’ll most likely be separated from Vinnie. No one wants the girl who hasn’t been eighteen for all that long. They love babies and someone will immediately take my baby brother in. I don’t have the means to take care of him and live on our own. If I did, I’d have already done something about it. We wouldn’t be in a house that’s falling down around us, has barely any heat, and dealing with my mother’s addiction, men constantly coming in, and everything else. It’s hell and chaos on a good day and something much worse on the days my mother is out of her mind with the need for drugs.

“I’m okay, Mrs. Andrews. It looks worse than it is. I’ve got to get going or I won’t make my meeting with the Dean. I’m sure it’s about tutoring, but I can’t risk it being something more,” I tell her, trying to brush off her concern about the marks on my body.

“Okay, Arabella. Do you have to work after school today?” she questions, changing the subject, much to my relief.

“Not today. I’ve got it off since it’s the first day of classes. I do have to work the rest of the week though,” I answer her, handing over my brother and then the diaper bag.

“Sounds good. You focus on school. I’ve got Vinnie. We’re gonna have a fun day today,” she says, smiling down at my brother.

With a final kiss to Vinnie’s cheek, I let Mrs. Andrews know he’s had his cereal already, and I just bathed and changed him. Going back outside, I pull my thin coat tighter around me in an attempt to be warm on my walk to school. It doesn’t work, but there’s nothing I can do to help it. The zipper broke a long time ago and it’s so thin now that I might as well not be wearing anything at this point. Keeping my head down, I head out of the poor section of town and make my way toward High Point University. It’s going to be a cold, hard walk but I’m used to it. This is my life and I don’t see it changing any time soon.

***

I’m freezing by the time I get to school. I wouldn’t be surprised if my hair broke off in a chunk because it started raining when I was about halfway here. Everything from the top of my head to the tips of my toes is completely soaked and ready to fall off. Still, I push forward and head straight for the administrative offices. That’s where the Dean’s office is located. I’ve only been there once, but I memorized the layout of campus when I was here for orientation. I don’t want to have to walk around with my face buried in a map of campus because that means people can sneak up on me and attack when I’m not paying attention to my surroundings.

There are students rushing from the dorms to various buildings. Most of them are in small groups talking and laughing as they head to class, for a cup of coffee, or to grab some breakfast to start their day. I don’t have time for any of that. Nor do I have the money to buy coffee, eat something, or anything else they offer on campus. And I sure as hell don’t have any friends here to talk and laugh with. Share stories about what we did over our summer vacation. All I did was work and take care of my brother. I’m alone in the world and the only attention paid to me is when I’m being bullied.

That’s about the only thing I was thankful for over the last two months. I didn’t have to really see anyone from school. My bullies were all off partying and doing whatever it is they do when they’re not forced to sit in school or making my life a living hell. Yes, I did see some of them at work, but most of them were out of town or doing other things to worry about coming into Slice of Heaven. It’s the local pizza shop where I work as often as I can. When I wasn’t at work, my time was spent at home with Vinnie. The only time we left was to go to the park. It’s not the greatest place, but it’s better than staying home and getting my ass beat or listening to our mother fuck her latest conquest.

Opening the main door of the administrative building, I quickly make my way to the Dean’s office. It’s at the back of the building straight ahead of me. There are more students walking around in here going to various other offices. I can only guess they’re trying to get their schedules changed, meeting with counselors, and trying to finalize last minute details of their college path. I made sure to do that at orientation so I didn’t have to come back here again and leave Vinnie with Mrs. Andrews. I don’t like taking advantage of her kindness and willingness to watch him while I’m busy.

Letting Dean Maddison’s secretary know I’m here, she assures me he’ll be with me as soon as he can. I take a seat across from her desk to wait for him. Since it’s the first day of classes, he’s already busy. Plus, I’m sure most of the students finished moving into their dorms over the past weekend. Just because I wasn’t here to witness everything going on, doesn’t mean I don’t have an imagination and can understand what campus must have been like over the last few weeks since it opened its gates. I’m sure there was chaos as everyone moved in and tried to get settled while developing new friendships or finding those they’ve known for years.

“Miss Moore, it’s so good to see you,” Dean Maddison says, opening his door and waiting for me to stand from the seat against the wall.

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