Page 39 of Hidden Truths

Maria called me yesterday to talk about everything and check on me. She wants to help me get ready today at the courthouse because she knows I don’t have make-up or anything to do my hair with. Honestly, it’s something I really didn’t think about because in my eyes this isn’t a true wedding to Kash. We’re going through the process in order for all of us to gain what we want. It’s really simple if I’m being honest. I want protection for my brother and to make sure Collette doesn’t get her hands on the stuff that doesn’t belong to her because it’s not right. She doesn’t deserve it with how horrible of a person she is. Kash is doing it to get out of the marriage with Marianna because she’s a monster and pure evil. I can’t blame him for not wanting to be around her and having to live in the same house with her. At the same time, he’s one step closer to removing his father from his seat at the table. That’s something he wants more than anything because of everything they’ve found out so far when it comes to The Faction and every other way they’ve been taking money from everyone around them.

Mrs. Andrews knows what’s happening today. She’s excited for me, but also understands why I’m nervous and not sure if I’m going to be able to go through with the ceremony. She doesn’t want me to do anything that’s going to hurt me in the long run. Mrs. Andrews will always look out for me and I’ll always be her priority along with Vinnie. She’s taken us in as her family and that won’t ever change. So, I’m always going to do what I have to do in order to protect her. That means ensuring that when the time comes for me to move into the mansion with Kash, Mrs. Andrews will be moving in with us. Just another conversation we have to have. Though I don’t think Kash will have a problem with me moving in the only person that’s been there for me since the day my entire world imploded.

Vinnie will remain with Mrs. Andrews overnight and I’ll come back to him tomorrow as soon as I wake up. She wants me to have a good time and knows if I’m worried about Vinnie, it won’t happen. So, that’s her wedding gift to me because she knows everything that’s been going on. Other than Brock, Mrs. Andrews is the only one who knows everything. Maybe even more than Brock does because I’ve known Mrs. Andrews for longer and have built a relationship with her that I haven’t been able to build with Brock so far. Our bond isn’t as strong even though we spend time together five days a week.

After taking a shower and grabbing a small bag of clothes that Maria got for me as her wedding gift to me, I head outside to wait for Maria to pick me up. The only reason I stop is to give Vinnie a hug and kiss while avoiding his little hands covered in the baby food he’s being fed. Mrs. Andrews gives me a hug and tells me to have fun before shooing me out the door. Like the last time she picked me up near my house, I make my way down the street so it’s less likely that my mother will see me heading anywhere with someone. Though, it doesn’t stop me from hearing the yelling and fighting coming from the house that I’m glad we didn’t return to after that one night when she was fucked-up. We’ve been at Mrs. Andrews’ house ever since.

Maria doesn’t make me wait too long as she pulls up a few minutes after I get a little ways down the street from the houses I want to avoid. Getting in her car, I see my dress hanging in the backseat with a bag sitting next to it. There’s cords and make-up showing from the bag and I know it’s everything she needs to help get me ready.

“Are you ready for this?” Maria asks me, excitement filling her voice as I buckle my seatbelt and she takes off to head out of town.

“I don’t honestly know if I’m making the right decision. It’s been so long since I’ve been around the guys at all. I’ve been around them recently because of Kash and I talking about everything leading up to today and all the appointments and things we’ve had to take care of together. Still, it’s going to be different once I’m married to Kash and we’re living together. Just because our marriage is in name only, it doesn’t mean that the guys won’t be over to the house on a daily basis. They’re all so close and I know it’s just a matter of time before I have to start seeing them and spending time with them. I know I’m not ready for that part because there’s this huge gap between us and I’m not ready to bridge that gap,” I tell Maria the truth of my situation and hope she understands where I’m coming from.

“I get it. It took a long time before I was ready to let Kash back in my life after losing his brother. He’s so much like Luke and doesn’t even realize the ways they’re similar. It just hits me out of the blue no matter what I’m doing too. We could be having a simple conversation and suddenly I’m completely bombarded with thoughts of Luke and how much he’s missing out on Harlow’s life and that he’d be proud of the little girl she is today. He was so excited to be a dad and couldn’t wait to bring her home. Now, she’ll never know him other than what the guys and I share with her,” Maria responds, emotion clogging her voice as she keeps her eyes focused on the road in front of her.

“I can’t even imagine what you went through during that time in your life. Or now. I mean, I lost my dad but that’s not the same as what you’ve been going through. What Harlow will go through as she gets older and starts asking those questions,” I tell her, my voice a whisper because I’m overly emotional right now.

I guess today is bringing up a ton of memories and things that I haven’t let myself deal with or think about for a very long time now. Mainly things involving the guys because after today it’s not going to be avoidable to spend time with guys I don’t necessarily know anymore.

Maria and I make the rest of the drive in silence as we get lost in our own heads with music playing softly in the background. I don’t pay attention to anything passing by the car as she drives out of town and heads for the courthouse that Kash booked everything at. I’m glad she has the address and put it in her GPS so we don’t get lost. Now, I don’t have to worry about giving her directions or trying to read anything while I think about all the ways my life is about to change because of the discovery of a will that I wasn’t ever supposed to know about. I’m about to hurt people because of the decisions I’m making here today. Hopefully it doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass after everything is said and done.

***

Maria has worked her magic and I can’t believe she made me look as good as I do right now. I’ve barely got any make-up on my face. Just enough to make my eyes and lips stand out more than usual. She curled my hair and put half of it up in one of those complicated designs I’ve always admired on girls who know about doing their hair and make-up. I’ve put the dress on along with a pair of wedged sandals that Maria also surprised me with for today. She’s given me so much and doesn’t even realize what she’s done or how it makes me feel. I want to cry, but will do nothing but mess up all the hard work she’s done to get me ready for today. I don’t want to do that, so I take a deep breath and hold it so I can try to stop myself from crying.

She leads me from the room we got ready in when there’s a tap on the door. Brock meets us at the closed door of the room we’ll be getting married in. He looks me over from head to toe and a smile lights up his face. He extends his arm for me to take as Maria enters the room being extremely careful not to let anyone inside see me before it’s time for me to enter the room. I place my hand on Brock’s arm and he asks me if I’m ready for this. With a slight nod of my head, I let him know I’m ready. Brock leads me inside as someone has the wedding march playing through a set of speakers.

Kash is standing next to the judge who will marry us. He’s wearing a black suit with a matching black shirt. Everything is fitted to him and I know it’s been tailored to his body and no one else’s. His hair is slicked back and I can barely make out the tattoos on his neck and hands with my attention on the clothes covering his body. For the first time, I’m getting a glimpse of what his body actually looks like. The lean muscles he has that aren’t shown with the clothes he typically wears. My mouth waters with the sight of my future husband as he looks at no one else but me. I want to know what he’s thinking right now, but I don’t have the confidence to ask him.

Maria is sitting on one side of the room in the front row while the guys are taking up the row on the opposite side of the room. They’re all looking at me as Brock holds my hand tight so I don’t try to get away from him. We make our way to stand at Kash’s side and Brock releases my hand for my soon-to-be husband to take instead. Kash’s hands are shaking as bad as mine are as I look up at him and offer him a small smile. Kash returns it and we both turn to face the judge. He goes through the spiel he says at every wedding ceremony. I try so hard to listen as he speaks, but the words sound so foreign because I’m really doing this. I’m about to go from Arabella Moore to Arabella Richardson. Yes, I’m taking his name because that’s the one thing Kash asked me for. I’d honestly rather not have the same last name as my mother any longer so it was an easy decision to make.

When it’s time for us to exchange rings, Kash shocks the hell out of me. Dash stands from his seat and hands over an engagement ring and wedding band. Kash slides them on my ring finger as I hold my hand out for him. He repeats the words the judge says and then turns to me. Maria steps up this time and hands me a wedding band. It’s black and there’s something engraved into the inside of the ring that I can’t quite make out while I listen to the words and repeat. Sliding the ring on Kash’s finger, something settles deep in my soul. I still don’t know if I’m making the right decision, but we’re about to find out over the next few weeks as we find a rhythm and get settled into some kind of routine. I have to have that with Vinnie.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride,” the judge says, a large smile on his face as he closes the book he was reading from and takes a step back away from us.

Kash leans down and presses his lips to mine. When he licks the seam of my lips, I open my mouth in a small gasp. Kash immediately takes the opening and slides his tongue into my mouth and tangles it with mine. I try to copy his movements considering this is the first time I’ve ever kissed anyone. I hear a low moan from Kash as he finally pulls away from me and takes my hand back in his. He leads us from the room as everyone else in our party follows us. When we get out to the hallway, Maria pulls me away from him to give me a tight hug. Tears slide down her face and she whispers in my ear so no one else can hear.

“I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Try to relax and don’t let Fallon watching get to you. Pretend he’s not even there and keep your focus on Kash only. He’ll love what I got you. Tomorrow, if you need me, let me know and I’ll come get you. We’ll spend the day together. You can tell me all about whatever’s on your mind,” she says, her voice wavering with the tears clogging her voice.

“Okay. I don’t know what’s going to happen after tonight. Just one more thing Kash and I have to discuss,” I tell her as a hand settles on my lower back and I turn my head to find Kash standing behind me.

Everyone but Fallon and Brock are leaving the courthouse. Maria hugs Kash and says something to him I can’t hear while Brock pulls me into a hug. He congratulates me and assures me nothing is going to change our friendship because he doesn’t give a shit about fitting in with the guys and everyone else in this town. I smile at him and watch as he leaves me alone with Kash and Fallon. The three of us make our way out of the courthouse and toward the parking lot. My eyes almost bulge out of my head because sitting there is a limo and I know instinctively it’s for us. Kash leads us there and the driver opens the door before I’m helped inside by my husband. Fallon follows us and takes a seat across from us leaving the back of the limo open. Nerves fill me as Kash rests our joined hand on my thigh and sits close to me. I don’t know how I can make this any easier for either one of us. I can feel Kash’s body shaking as much as mine.

***

We’ve been in the hotel for about an hour now. The second I got inside the honeymoon suite after Kash got us all checked in, I made my way into the bathroom and locked myself behind the door. I’m so nervous I can’t even begin to imagine walking back out there to face Kash and Fallon. Maria definitely got me something new for tonight. She packed the bag with lingerie and I’ve never worn this before. The set she got me is completely white and mostly see through. More of my skin and body are on display than ever before. There’s no way to hide the scars from the beatings I’ve suffered through over the years either. Kash is going to see them and will want nothing to do with me.

My heart is racing, my breathing is coming out in soft pants instead of being able to take deep breaths that provide the oxygen needed to live. I startle when there’s a knock at the door.

“Are you okay, Song Bird?” Kash’s concerned voice comes through the door as I try to take a deep breath to relax and make my way out of the bathroom.

“I’m okay. I’m coming out now,” I answer him, taking a step away from the sink and making sure the robe Maria included with everything is tied tight so the lingerie isn’t showing the second I leave the bathroom.

Unlocking the door, I pull it open to find Kash standing there. He’s leaning against the door frame and has taken his suit jacket and shirt off leaving his torso completely bare to my gaze. He’s got so many more tattoos than I realized. Every inch of his body is covered in ink. Mainly in black and gray without any color. I want to study the designs covering his body but my nerves won’t allow me to. I let my eyes drift to the floor to find Kash’s feet bare from his socks and dress shoes. He’s only wearing his pants and underwear. Again, I find my mouth watering and my nerves skyrocket even more than what they already were.

Kash takes my hand after taking his time looking at my body. Well, what’s exposed and not covered by the robe I’m wearing. He leads me to the bed and we stand next to it without talking. Kash brings his hands to my hips and pulls my body closer to his. He leans down once again and presses his lips to mine in a kiss. I don’t hesitate to open for him this time as he slides his tongue once again inside my mouth. Our tongues slide against one another and he doesn’t hesitate to take charge. Kash’s hands don’t leave my hips as I bring mine up to rest on his chest. His skin is warm and hard as I start to slide my hands down his body as Kash moans once again. The sound travels through my body and stops directly between my legs. I’ve never felt anything like this before in my entire life.

When Kash pulls his lips away from mine, we’re both breathing hard and staring at one another. Kash moves his hands to the front of my robe where the tie is resting and he looks at me asking for permission to untie it. With a nod of my head, I watch as his trembling hands untie the silk band keeping the material closed. Kash slides his hands inside the material and slides it from my body. It pools around my feet on the floor after he slides it down my arms. Kash doesn’t take his eyes from my body as they start at the top of my head and move slowly down my body. He doesn’t miss a single inch of my skin and I see the heat fill his eyes. I might not know what the hell it looks like, but I’ve read more than enough books that have described the look in great detail. This is what I’m witnessing now in Kash’s eyes. It makes me feel sexy and beautiful for the first time in my life.

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