Page 75 of The Guardian's Curse

“It is not for me to tell,” he said, shaking his head. “It was only when Sasha lost his memory for the first time that we realized something had happened.”

“I haven’t met him,” she said.

He shook his head again. “You likely won’t. Every full moon, his memory fails. He forgets everything.”

“That’s terrible,” Shoshanna murmured.

It was heartbreaking to see the formidable assassin as lost and frightened as a child, over and over again. “The Shroud watches over him to ensure that no one takes advantage of him, and that he is not a danger to others. Introducing you would only make things more confusing.” He smiled sadly. “And knowing you, it would break your heart when he forgot you. Dominic and Julian didn’t kill witches. Or at least, that wasn’t how they were cursed. They killed Tobias for information, and Armina designed curses specifically for them, far nastier than the others.”

“And you? I thought you weren’t there.”

“I was an idiot,” he said flatly. “When I saw the way my brothers suffered, I was angry. Julian almost killed himself on multiple occasions. It took both Paris and I to stop him, and he nearly killed us both to get through us. They all suffered terribly, and when we lost Lucia and Kova, I had enough of standing by. Paris had been hunting down the Night Weavers for seventy years, and I joined him on the hunt. But he never found Armina. I was certain that I could.”

“But you were wrong?”

“Oh, I was right,” he said. “I found one of Armina’s apprentices and took her to bed. I believed that my masterful seduction would be more than sufficient to turn her against Armina. And when she gave up Armina’s location, I was cocky. I thought I would bargain for a cure, that I would succeed where the others had failed.” His chest tightened. How many times had his brothers warned him against pursuing the witch?

“And she cursed you,” Shoshanna said quietly.

“She knew I was coming. Her apprentice played me, letting me believe I had turned her against Armina, when in fact she had set up a trap for me,” he said. “I was a damned fool to think that I would sway her. And I might have gotten away with it, but I taunted her, thinking I had nothing to lose. My mouth ran away with me, and I offered to fill the void that her lover had left.” Shame boiled in his gut. “She cursed me. At first I thought it was merely pain. My skin felt like it was burning and turning to stone. I fled, and by the time I reached home in Prague, I was the monster you saw. I am this way because I was a fool. There was no reason for me to suffer. The others told me not to bother, not to risk myself, and I did it anyway.” He pushed her feet away and drained the rest of the whiskey, resting his head in his hands. “You must think me a terrible fool.”

She was quiet, and then there was the quiet shift of fabric and creaking leather as she shifted closer, her warm body resting against his. Despite his shame, her touch was a balm. She rested her head on his shoulder and stroked his hand. He fought the urge to pull away, so she could not see the ugly, twisted flesh. “I don’t think you’re a fool.”

“It’s a sweet lie, but you don’t have to coddle me.”

“Can’t you hear my heartbeat?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Does it sound like I’m lying?”

Her pulse was steady and slow. “Go on.”

“I think you cared for your friends,” she said, still stroking his hand. “The family you built. And you did something a little crazy to help them. Why would I think anything but kindly of you for that? I’m going to figure this out. And when I do, you won’t have to hide anymore. And Paris won’t have to...well, whatever is wrong with him, too. I’m going to do it, Alistair.”

“Your confidence is endearing.” Her weight shifted, and she punched him in the arm. “Ouch!”

“That didn’t hurt.”

“Not really,” he admitted. She did it again, this time hard enough to send a fleeting spike of pain up his arm. “Shoshanna!”

“Look at me,” she said. He turned, though he didn’t pull back his hood. “You don’t know how persistent I am.”

“I know that you bespelled a trap on my bedroom door to force me to talk to you when you wanted to apologize,” he said drily.

Her smile was dazzling. “I did, didn’t I?” Then her brow furrowed. “I have worked my ass off since I was seventeen. My mom wanted me to stay in New York and go to school with Casteron money, and I refused. I took out my own loans and I paid them. I’m still paying them. So maybe we’re both idiots,” she said with a wince. “And I underwent tisserand training even though I didn’t have generations of legacy, only a dad with a bad reputation for his affiliation with the Casteron. I’ve lived here on my own for over a decade. I have a lot to be proud of, and I’ve earned it.”

“Would it be demeaning to your accomplishments if I told you that your speech just made you even sexier?”

“Only a little, but I’ll allow it,” she said, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “Maybe you and your fanged friends think that I’m just going to tinker around and give up after a few days, but I’m not. You know all those spells I put on Infinity and here in your house? I didn’t learn them from a book. I built them myself. If there’s a question, there’s always an answer. And I can find it if I work at it.”

He tipped her chin up. “I believe you.”

“You do?”

He wasn’t certain that he did. It was not that Shoshanna lacked intelligence or skill, nor the persistence necessary. She had all of those things in spades. But she was kind, with integrity that shone bright. Armina and her apprentices had a knack for torment, for cruel vengeance that would spiral across time and space. Julian and Sasha had paid for their sins a thousand times over. Nikko, too. The loss of her lover had long been repaid, and still, they suffered without relief.

How could Shoshanna combat that kind of darkness? He wanted her to remain the warm beacon of light that she was, not immerse herself in Armina’s dark arts. But he also wanted Lucia to walk in the sun again. And if he could be so selfish, he wanted to face the world again. He wanted Paris to sleep through the night and for Nikko to have some peace at last.

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