“But I met my Kristina. I can’t imagine if I hadn’t,” Sasha said, his eyes gleaming as he mentioned her name.
“I should have guessed you’d fall in love with a woman who tried to kill you,” Kova said.
Sasha grinned. “It is very exciting to know that my lover is nearly as strong as me, with an equally voracious appetite.”
Kova put up a hand. “No more details. I need a shower. Can you tell them I’ll be ready soon?”
Sasha nodded, then led him just down the hall to one of the guest bathrooms. Someone had brought him clothes, and the medicine cabinet was stocked with toiletries. After Sasha left, he carefully stripped down and regarded himself in the mirror. There were more of Armina’s markings over his hips, and on his ankles like shackles. They were all dull black now, as if the fire had permanently gone out.
“Fuck you,” he said, conjuring her face. No pain. He let out a manic laugh, then winced at the sensation of his throat constricting.
When he tried to examine his face, he couldn’t meet his eyes in the mirror. Instead, he turned away to start the shower. The sensation of the water on his skin was sharp and abrasive, and he yanked his hand back. After setting the faucet to a lukewarm spray so light it was barely running, he eased under the spray.
The first few seconds felt like someone was running sandpaper across his bare skin, but he gritted his teeth and let it pass. As his body acclimated, it became a neutral sensation, and when he finally dipped his head under the water, his nerve endings ignited with pleasure.
He took his time, carefully scrubbing his skin clean. The water went cold, and he realized he was stalling so he didn’t have to face the others. Finally, he got out and carefully shaved. When he was done, he slowly stroked his jaw, savoring the sensation of his own skin, of the rasp of stubble beneath his fingertips, of the pliable warmth of his own flesh.
When he dressed, the borrowed t-shirt felt heavy as a lead apron. Finally, he forced himself to look up, to meet his own amber eyes in the mirror.
Who was the man looking back at him? Was this still the man who called Sasha and Dominic brother?
Gripping the counter, he held his own accusatory stare without flinching. You made your choices. Now you face them.
He pushed away before he lost his nerve and headed for the stairs. As he descended, his belly churned with nerves. The smell of warm blood and wine perfumed the air, and he found Alistair and Shoshanna waiting at the foot of the stairs.
His resolve faltered, and his throat closed off.
Alistair, his old friend, who was cocky but gentle at heart. The man who loved to entertain, and Kova had nearly killed him. Kova met his eyes, then sank to his knees on the ornate carpet, not knowing what else to do. “I’m so sorry. To both of you.” His eyes stung, but he swallowed hard, trying not to let himself break down again. If he started, he would never stop.
To his surprise, Alistair took his hand, pulled him to his feet and without speaking, embraced him. After kissing his cheek, Alistair said, “Come and have a drink with us. Welcome to our home. Properly this time.”
He stared at Shoshanna, who nodded and smiled at him. She beckoned for him to follow her into the living room, where she settled onto the big couch. A black cat came running and leaped into her lap. When Alistair returned, he brought her and Kova a glass of whiskey before fetching his own.
“You mean to make it this easy?” Kova asked.
“I told you before that if Allie or my brother had died, we’d be having a different conversation,” she said, raising her glass. He raised his own, pantomiming a meeting of the fine crystal across the room. “When I broke Lucia’s curse, I felt how much you suffered. I understand why you did what you did.”
Alistair nodded. “I do wonder… Why didn’t you trust us? Why would you let us believe you were gone? We thought you killed yourself.”
The first sip of whiskey was overwhelming. Fire burned down his throat, and he waited for it to pass before he spoke. “It was cowardly of me, but I knew you would disapprove. You would tell me I was a fool for going to the witch, and you would have been right. It was better if you thought…if you didn’t feel like you had to come to help me. And truthfully, I thought she would kill me. I didn’t think I’d ever see you all again.”
Alistair chuckled. “You were already gone, but you should know I tried the same. I tried to persuade her to break the curses for Paris’s sake. We’re both fools,” he said.
“I heard. She was quite pleased with herself about that spell,” Kova said. Alistair winced, averting his eyes to look at his lover.
Shoshanna cleared her throat, one hand idly stroking the purring cat. “I haven’t told Lucia about you yet, but we should tell her soon. She’s missed you so badly.”
His brothers would have certainly protected Lucia, but he liked the idea that Shoshanna had befriended her. Even so, his throat tightened. “I’m not ready. I want to clear the air with the court first, and determine how we help Bri— how we help Scarlett. I don’t deserve to see her until then.”
He expected Shoshanna to nod her approval, but she scowled. “God, you’re all so much alike. Who says you get to decide what you deserve? What about Lucia? Doesn’t she deserve to know you’re alive and well? Why do you all think your self-loathing means the people who love you deserve to suffer and be alone?”
He gaped at her, then nodded. That was the voice of a woman who could stand up to Armina Voss. He forced a smile and said, “You’re right. After I speak to the court. I’ll face her then.”
Chapter 23
Despite being sure—yet again—that he was dreaming, Julian blinked a dozen times and still found himself on the new leather couch in the second-floor lounge of Infinity. A large, tinted window overlooked the empty, dark room that once held reveling vampires and veravin. And seated next to him, bare feet propped up in his lap, was the love of his life.
Scarlett’s cheeks were flushed thanks to her second glass of wine, and she was smiling brightly as she told him stories about her years in boarding school. He was entranced with her, realizing that playful streak he’d known before was still there, even if it came out in the form of putting homemade costumes on skeleton models in the biology lab rather than artfully removing the buttons from one of his coats and feigning complete confusion as to where they’d gone.