Page 110 of Full Throttle

“Please,” he begged. “Let me do this.”

“You can, Cain, but I’m coming with you. You aren’t doing this alone.”

“Fuck,” he barked, shoving his hands into his hair. “Why is this so hard for you to comprehend?” he bellowed. “Why don’t you understand?”

“You’ve spent your entire life fighting battles alone, Cain,” I shouted back. If he was going to raise his voice, then so was I. More tears stung my eyes. “You don’t have to do that anymore! You have Oasis! You have the boys!” My chest heaved. “Dammit, Cain, you have me!”

“Stop,” he ordered, his voice shaking as he tried to keep his composure intact.

“No. Why is it so hard for you to comprehend?” I asked softly, repeating his words. “Why don’t you understand that I’d follow you into the depths of hell just to be with you?”

He stared at me for a long time, his chest heaving, his features appearing pained before his dam broke.

Then, I watched as the infamous Cain Donovan crumbled.

He fell to his knees, his head in his hands as a wretched sob left him. “I can’t—I can’t lose you. I don’t know how much more I can take,” he admitted, another sob leaving him. He dropped his hands and looked up at me, his eyes filled with tears. “Please don’t put me through that again, baby.”

A twinge of pain shot through my chest like a bullet. “Cain—”

“After we pulled you from the car, Dontell put you in my arms, and—and all I could was stare at you,” he explained, his body sagging. “Fuck, I had to memorize every single inch of your face, clover. I had to, because when I die, that’s all I want to see.”

My knees wobbled, but he kept going, holding my eyes as a single tear fell down his cheek. “If you had died that night, baby, I would’ve died too.”

His words rocked my soul, and I was falling.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

I fell to my knees in front of him and, without a second thought, I was scrambling to get to him as he croaked, “If I’d lost you, nothing would matter anymore. I’d just fucking gotten you back. You weren’t mine, but you were near me—in my life. That was good enough for me. Fuck, just being near you was good enough for me, Nik. I was willing to live with that…but I can’t live without you. The second I realized it was you in the car—”

Within seconds, I had his face in my hands. “No, no, no,” I chanted. “You wouldn’t have—”

“Yes,” he pushed out on a harsh breath. “There’s no me without you. I’m nothing without you.”

“Cain—”

“You’re my reason too,” he rasped as he pulled our foreheads together.

I inhaled an unsteady breath, my heart pounding.

“I know you can fight your own battles. I know you’re strong. I know you can handle your own shit. I know my clover girl is fierce, but when it comes to you, I’m not. I’m desperate. If I lose you…”

“You aren’t going to lose me, Cain. We can fight side by side. We—”

“Let me love you. Let me protect you. Let me be the man you deserve,” he begged.

“You are the man I deserve,” I told him, my voice soft.

He shook his head against me.

“You leave, I’ll follow,” I told him, sitting back.

“No.”

“You leave, I’ll follow,” I repeated, my voice firm.

“No, I won’t—”

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