Page 21 of Full Throttle

He turned and walked to the fridge. “Hey, D and I are moving the accounts.” A pause. “Yeah, hang on.” He turned back around, putting the phone on speaker and dropping it on the island. “Go.”

“Alright, this needs to have a vote,” Jer informed us.

I looked at Dontell and Leon, wondering what the fuck was going on. “What do you—”

“Cain, you’re in on this vote,” Jer’s voice cut me off.

I froze.

The boys stared at me, waiting for a response and when that didn’t happen, Jer called my name.

They wanted me in on the vote.

Me.

Clearing my throat quickly, I pushed out, “Why do you need me on it?”

Jer fired back an answer. “I don’t need you on it. I want you on it. Over the last few months, you’ve proven yourself to me and the boys.”

My eyes lifted from the phone to Dontell and Leon for confirmation. D nodded, allowing me to solely focus on Leon, a man who’d become a brother to me before I betrayed him in his most desperate hour. He’d just accepted having me in his life, as a part of Oasis, but this…

This was something more. Way more. I didn’t help these men build Oasis from the ground up. I wasn’t there for the first race night. I wasn’t—I didn’t deserve this. Leon held my eyes as Dominique’s shower ran in the background, and the football announcers on the TV went on about play-action passes and flags. I shook my head. “No.”

“What? Is that your vote?” Jer asked on the phone as Dontell’s brows came together while Lee hadn’t moved a single inch.

“My answer is no to getting a vote,” I clarified, pushing off the island and folding my arms over my chest. I broke the stare, looking down to the phone. “I don’t deserve to have a say in this.”

Before any of them could utter a word, I was walking towards the door.

The winter air greeted me, hitting my face as I climbed down the stairs, entering the alley behind the bar where I’d parked. Reaching into my jeans, I pulled out my keys and hit the unlock button on the car. I pulled the driver’s side door open, reaching in and popping open the glove compartment to grab the bent up white box. When I rose back up, I shut the door and turned, leaning my ass against it as I fished out my lighter from my pocket.

It was fucking freezing, but I didn’t care.

I needed this.

Pulling out my last cigarette from the box, I put it between my lips as I flicked the lighter and lit up. Taking a long drag, the chemicals seeped into my system, and as I let out a slow breath, I felt some of the tension release in my shoulders. The sounds of the city surrounded me; cars honking, people chatting and laughing, Sullie’s booming voice from the front of the building as he said goodbye to friends. I tilted my head up to the pale blue sky, reminding me of my own eyes I’d been cursed with as I closed them.

I took another drag.

Held it in for five seconds.

Released.

Over and over until my mind quieted.

Minutes passed, and I knew that I’d have to get up there to check on Dominique. I didn’t want her alone, and I knew she wouldn’t be today. Actually, for the next few days, I was certain that she wouldn’t be alone for a single moment.

But I also knew she would grow to hate it.

As kids, she craved her alone time in her room.

I’d watch from my window as, every single night on the dot at seven thirty, she would go into her room and lock the door. She didn’t want to deal with her overbearing parents.

I brought my head back up, shaking it. She had no idea how good she fucking had it, how much she took for granted.

“Cain?”

I inhaled the last drag as I looked over just in time to see Mina rounding the corner, carrying multiple bags of to-go boxes. Her cinnamon eyes landed on me instantly, and she read me. Holding in the toxic smoke in my lung, not wanting to let it out, I watched as she approached me.

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