Page 81 of Yours, Unexpectedly

Remembering how much I loved my earlier view, I pull out and flip Bex over, yanking her hips up and sliding back in all in one motion. Bex gasps as I continue to move at a punishing pace, but her screams of “Harder!” and “More!” tell me that she’s loving it as much as I am.

We move together like that until I feel her come undone around me for the second time tonight. I quickly follow her over the edge, and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier.

After my soul re-enters my body, I discard the condom and find a washcloth to clean us both off. I get it nice and warm before I take it back to bed and gently scrub the inside of Bex’s legs. She gets up and kisses my nose before walking into the bathroom. I can’t help but stare as she closes the door. I can’t imagine ever getting tired of her naked body.

A few minutes later she comes back out. “I need to bring some skincare over here if I’m going to be staying the night.”

“That jizz looking stuff? I have an alternative you could use…” I pump my eyebrows a few times, laughing at my own joke.

“Oh my God, you’re the worst!”

“Bring one of those face rollers too. Those look like they could do lots of fun things.”

“That’s honestly one of the most terrifying things you’ve ever said.” She lifts the covers and slides in next to me, snuggling her back right up to my front.

I lean over and kiss her neck, sending a shiver through her naked body.

“Go to sleep, Baby Bardot.” I love you, I want to say.

Instead I just listen to her breathing even out as she drifts off to sleep.

I’m still awake. This isn’t completely uncommon for me, but tonight my mind is racing as I stay up and mentally berate myself for not telling Bex that I love her. It almost came out so many times, but when I think about scaring Bex off, it makes me want to vomit. So I held back. And I feel like a coward for that.

Around two in the morning, I finally sneak away, leaving Bex completely passed out in my bed. She’s such a deep sleeper; I can’t help but laugh at how she’s currently splayed out across the bed, overtaking another aspect of my life.

I close the door to the bedroom behind me as I walk out toward the kitchen to turn on the kettle for tea. I’ve had The Greatest Showman soundtrack stuck in my head for the last week, so I put on my noise-canceling headphones and blast the songs while the water boils.

I’m trying to quietly belt out “Rewrite the Stars” when I turn around and see a sleepy Bex leaning against the door frame, wearing one of my favorite old T-shirts and rubbing her eyes. Maybe I was singing louder than I thought.

I whip my headphones off with an apology ready. “I’m so sorry! Did I wake you?”

She nods while simultaneously letting out a big yawn. She looks a little bit like a lion right now, with her wild hair sticking out this way and that. “S’okay though. It was just—” Another yawn. “I noticed you weren’t in bed anymore so I got up to investigate. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just can’t sleep.”

“Do you need company?” she asks around yet another large yawn.

I chuckle, walking over to her and kissing her forehead. “No, baby. Go back to sleep—I’ll be there in a minute.”

Keeping her eyes closed she tips her head up and kisses my chin. I think she was aiming for my mouth, but she’s obviously only half awake. “Okay, I will. I love you.”

Three words that stop both of us in our tracks.

Bex freezes, eyes popping open to a comically wide degree.

“I—I can’t believe… I didn’t—”

She’s extremely flustered and my heart rate has skyrocketed. I need to calm both of us the fuck down. “Shh, it’s okay, Bex. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” I kiss the top of her head, but I can feel it shaking as I do so.

“No, that’s not—wait. I did mean it like that.” She looks up at me, her eyes pleading with me to understand what she means, but I need her to be extremely direct with me here.

She shakes her head again and her eyes look much more clear now—she’s definitely wide awake and aware of what she’s saying.

I clear my throat, “Can you explain what you did mean it like? Are you saying you—”

“I love you,” she interrupts, mouth moving at a frantic pace. “I’m in love with you. I wasn’t planning on telling you at 2 a.m. after watching you sing and dance around the kitchen, shaking your ass to Zac Efron and Zendaya, but none of this has been expected. And I do love you, Anders. It’s okay if you don’t love me, yet. Or ever. Or whatever. Actually that would be pretty shitty, but I didn’t mean to bombard you with this, and now I’m rambling and you’re just staring at me.” She finally takes a breath. “Say something. Please.”

I’m in awe of this woman. This woman that I love so much. This woman who is standing here telling me she feels the same way.

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