Page 68 of Gridlocked on the Gridiron

“I’m sorry that you…that you felt like we cheated you out of your senior season. But sometimes, I remember how horrible you were to Max, and how he’d—” She sniffled, swiping at her face angrily. “How he’d react to it. And I know he was just as bad, maybe worse, toward you. And I know he probably deserved it. But I was always stuck dealing with the consequences.”

Blood rushed into his ears at her words, wanting so badly to reach out and comfort her. His jaw tightened. “What do you mean ‘how he’d react to it’?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes, when you said something particularly nasty on TV or your team fucked up our practice field or our mascot statue…he got really angry. But he usually couldn’t rage at you, so he raged at me and kind of…I don’t know. He’d get loud, and it was just hard. He’d be in a mood for days. Weeks, even. And I had to just pretend everything was good, but I was honestly scared sometimes.”

Colton closed his eyes, trying to gather his bearings before he said or did something impulsive. “Did he ever…hurt you? Did he ever put his hands on you?” He only realized his fists were balled at his sides when he felt the bite of his nails in his palms. He opened his eyes at the sting.

She shook her head. “He never did anything physical. But if I was late to see him or did anything that even kind of bothered him in that time, he’d scream at me, and sometimes I thought he might.” She wiped at her face again. “I sometimes struggle to understand how that Colton and this Colton are both you. I know you were younger and you’ve matured. And it’s not like you did anything to hurt me. How could you have known what was going on?”

“Luc…”

“I don’t blame you, not really. It was Max. But when I first came here, it was on my mind. And then we had fun together and I realized I liked you and you weren’t this horrible person Max had made you out to be. And I kind of just forgot about it, you know? We spend so much time together that all I usually see is this side of you. This great guy who obviously cares about me in some capacity if he’s willing to put his love life on hold to date me and save me the humiliation of…I don’t even know what.” She sighed heavily.

Put his love life on hold? He hadn’t had a love life before her. He hadn’t cared about anyone the way he cared about her. The fact that he had ever, even indirectly, been the cause of her pain made him want to go back in time and change everything. He swallowed over the stone in his throat, trying to formulate a coherent thought, wanting nothing more than to take her in his arms.

“And normally, I can compartmentalize. Separate that time from whatever it is we’ve been doing recently. But when she said that, for some reason, I just couldn’t. I remembered it all, the way it felt in college, and it just…it just came crashing down on me that it had been you. And that it really did happen.”

He couldn’t hold himself back any longer, not when she was sitting so close to him, her head in her hands. He moved closer to her on the couch, his arms inches from picking her up.

“Luc, can I…?”

She looked up, realizing his closeness, eyed his arms, and then nodded slowly. He picked her up, setting her on his lap and wrapping a blanket around them. He pressed her head to his chest, his cheek resting on top as he ran a soothing hand through her hair.

“Luc, I don’t think there are words in this world that can express how sorry I am that you got caught in the crossfire of our shitfest. If I’d known—god, Luc, if I’d known, I would’ve called a ceasefire so fast. I never would’ve done anything to piss him off ever again. If I could go back in time and change it all, I would.”

If he could go back in time, he’d have found her first and made her his. Because she should have had someone infinitely better than Max Clark.

“Luc, you have to know that you deserved so much better than that. That you deserve so much better than that. The next time I see him, it’s going to be tough not to beat him until I’m behind bars for assault, because the thought of him yelling at you? Of him taking any of his anger out on you? Makes me want to sink my fist into his face until he can’t smirk anymore. Nobody should ever be treated that way, especially not you, Luc. God, you…” He sighed, pulling her tighter to his chest, trying to rein in the anger coursing through his veins. “You are”—Intoxicating. Exquisite. Perfect—“amazing.”

She wrapped an arm around his neck as she snuggled closer to him. “This is exactly what I meant. I can’t understand how you could be so kind now but also have done all those things back then.”

He continued running his fingers through her hair soothingly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again.

She sniffled. “You’re forgiven…if you put The Bachelor on until I fall asleep.”

He held her even as he reached for the remote, clicking on the show. He wondered if, after everything, he should come clean to her about how he really felt. About how his heart couldn’t rest in her presence. About how his body ached to have her against him, warm and cuddled up in his clothes. About how every second he’d spent with her since she’d joined the Sabers had been exceptional. About how she’d changed his life so much, all for the better.

“Luc, I—” He cut himself off when he realized she was already sleeping in his arms, almost thankful that his bravery would have to wait for another day.

Chapter twenty-four

Colton

The last time Colton had seen Lucia outside of work had been that night he’d held her on her couch until they both fell asleep. The closest he’d gotten to her since then, besides sitting in the chair next to her in her office, were their two pre-game kisses in the end zone, both of which felt different, more real than before. They’d both been so busy with the season that most of December had flown by, and while they still talked a lot during their sessions, she was hyper-focused on his game. Thankfully, they hadn’t had any more losses and had gotten through their Christmas Eve game with flying colors, leaving them with twelve wins.

He wished he had more time with her, knowing their deadline was imminent. Even if they could find a way to be friends after everything, he’d be left in pieces. He just hoped it wouldn’t affect his game. Otherwise, he’d never forgive himself. And he would never hear the end of it from his father.

Speaking of the man, Colton stood outside the door of his father’s Charleston house, dread once again filling his body. And once again, just like during the dinner with his father and Maya, he didn’t have Lucia by his side to serve as a buffer. He couldn’t be sure what awaited him, but he knew that the holiday meant nothing to the cold-hearted man who had shaped him.

He took a breath and rang the doorbell before he could convince himself not to. Liliana, his father’s housekeeper and chef, opened the door with a smile, beckoning him in. Colton noticed the shoes in the foyer, and he toed his own off, glad Maya was back in town. He’d let her know she could stay with him again rather than deal with their father and his coldness, but she hadn’t wanted to bother him after the game the night before. Not that he would’ve been bothered. The only other person he would’ve cared to have at his house had been on a plane to Philadelphia right after the game.

Maya came into view, jumping into Colton’s outstretched arms. “Colt! Thank god you’re here. Landon is driving me insane.”

Colton smiled, thankful that his father wasn’t the first person he had to deal with. When he walked into the living room with Maya, he saw Landon sitting on the couch, eyes focused on the TV, which Colton realized was playing Home Alone.

“Wow, really taking it back, aren’t we?”

Landon turned to look at Colton, an impish grin on his face. “What’s wrong with Home Alone? It’s a classic.”

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