Page 93 of The Cupcake Standard

When I’d regained my bearings, I stared at the room. It was gorgeous. There was an en suite whirlpool tub, a huge king-sized bed, a full living room, a dining corner with a fridge. Presents sat on the table, along with a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice and two champagne flutes.

Derek paced back and forth in front of the couch. “Just what kind of guy do you think I am, Avery?”

I slipped off my shoes because I was done with the heels and flopped down on the end of the bed. “A great one.” It was dawning on me that I’d misread the situation. Completely. “But, seriously, Derek, can you blame me? We started this whole thing based on a lie. How am I supposed to know what’s truth and what’s fiction?”

He stilled. I felt his gaze on me as I turned to meet his eyes, reading the acknowledgment there.

His shoulders sagged, then he came to plop on the bed next to me. “Piper was my first love. I should have told you about her.”

I softened. “Everyone has a past, Derek.”

One corner of his mouth tipped up. “She never felt the same about me as I felt about her. The four of us were always together, me, her, Rhonda, Liam. They all knew about my crush. It was a part of us, and it became a source of comfort for her, a fallback. Any time she was between guys, I was there to pick her up, set her on her feet, watch her fly away. Then she started getting noticed for her singing, got an offer for her music contract.”

I heard how his voice tightened, the pain in his pause. I rested my hand between us, left it there in case he needed to hold on to something.

“She came to visit at first, but I kept noticing the changes. Mostly in her eyes. Piper wasn’t the same. There was a magnetism that drew people to her, but something was dulling it. A couple Christmases ago, she came home in shambles. Some record agent had used her for sex, dropped her like yesterday’s news, and she was a wreck. She said she’d thought a lot about it, and she wanted me, only me. That this time would be different.”

“But it wasn’t.” His sigh was long, but not despairing. “I was the safe guy for her, not the guy. It took a while to find myself again, and Bin really helped with that. I swore off girls for a couple years.” His face tilted toward mine, blue eyes landing on me like twin flames burning with the hottest of fires. “Until you.”

I scrunched up my nose. “What was with all your friends’ comments then?”

He gave a shrug, awkward while lying down. “People watched me carry a torch for her for my entire childhood. What were they supposed to think?”

“…but you seemed so happy to see her.”

He grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. “Because I have you. She was a huge part of my childhood, and I can’t think about growing up without thinking about her. It may have looked like I was excited to see my ex, but”—he swallowed—“that was just a blip in our relationship. I was happy to see an old friend, and I only got to that point because of you.” He cleared his throat. “She’s been through a lot. It’s been forever since she came home, and I’m happy to see her in one piece.”

I sat up, wanting to put some distance between us, but he followed. “Derek, hang on. I just want some space.”

But he shook his head. “I can give you anything but that. Every time I give you space, you run away. And when you’re not here, I feel like I turn invisible again.” His gaze pleaded with me. “Avery, I don’t know what I was doing before I met you, but it wasn’t living. Then you came along. You strode up to me, like a vision from a dream, grabbed my tie and kissed me like I’d never been kissed. Like I’d lived in the shadows until then, and you brought me into the light for the very first time.”

He took both my hands in his, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I looked for you every day after that kiss. I dreamt of you, of your strawberry hair, your luscious lips, your cupcake taste. When you ran into me at the library, I knew I couldn’t let you get away again. And I called you my girlfriend.” He smiled as he remembered. “You didn’t even flinch, just took it in stride.” When I frowned, he tilted his head. “What?”

“You say you liked me, but you looked so disappointed when Yolanda ran away. I never did figure that one out.”

Seconds passed as he blinked at me, then he chuckled. “I was disappointed you didn’t let me keep my arm around you. You ducked away from me the minute she was gone.”

“Oh. So you held my hand.” I recalled how right it had felt.

“And you didn’t pull away.” He looked down, discomfited by whatever he was thinking. “I never should have suggested the fake dating thing. We should have just started out for real.” He smiled wryly. “Who knew one word could ruin everything?”

“I don’t know about ruin.” I thought about our crazy relationship, the connection we had. Underneath it all, I knew I’d never have moved as fast if circumstances hadn’t thrown us together. “I’m scared, though.” It was time to tell him the truth, the other piece I’d been holding back. “I thought my parents had an amazing relationship, a fairy-tale love that I spent my whole childhood dreaming of. And look where they are now. They started off doing everything right.

“We did everything backward, built on a lie.” I asked the question I was most scared of, the one that had my stomach clenching. “How can we trust what we have is enough?”

Derek squeezed my hand. “That’s the falling in love part, Avery.”

I sucked in a breath at the word love, fear tightening its grip as I fought the urge to run.

“You can’t fall without taking the leap.” His eyes bored into mine, his breath warm on my cheek. “But I’m ready to leap with you. We can walk this plank together.”

Several long moments passed. We stared at each other as I studied Derek, analyzed his words. It was a big word, but it didn’t sound so scary when I tried it out in connection to Derek. Finally, I found the courage to swallow my fear, my doubt, to say it out loud. “I’ll jump if you promise to catch me. And only if we’re honest from here on out.”

“Of course I’ll catch you. I’ll be there to carry you to bed whenever you need it. And get you out of your dresses.” We shared a warm smile. “No more secrets.”

“Then there’s something I need to tell you.” There was one secret in all this mess, one thing I’d kept from him.

He raised an eyebrow.

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