But this time was different. I heard Greg’s voice calling my name, and I answered him. It was enough to pull me out of my nightmare but panic still held me tight in its grip. I rolled to one side, my covers tangling around my legs and my shirt catching under me. The collar pulled taut against my neck, and I couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t handle one more thing restraining me. I flung the covers off and ripped my shirt over my head.
The dim light showed an unfamiliar room, and I was in an unfamiliar bed.
When the bed dipped beside me, I shrank away until the sweet scent of peppermint cut through my panic. “Greg,” I gasped.
“I’m here, Jellybean. What do you need?”
I dove for him, and he caught me, cradling me to his bare chest as he rocked us back and forth in the safety of his embrace. It didn’t matter that I was nearly naked, this was bigger than that. I gulped in ragged breaths as I clung to him. I needed to ground myself in the present and one of the therapist’s techniques jumped to my mind.
Five things I could see. Though the light was dim, it was enough. I saw Greg’s bare shoulder, pine plank walls, a trunk under a window, a quilt draped over the trunk, and a sturdy end table with my phone resting on it.
Four things I could hear. The wind howled outside. Snow battered against the pane of glass. Greg’s heart beat beneath my ear, steady and calm compared to my racing one. His chest rose as he inhaled between murmurs, and I focused on his husky voice.
Three things I could touch. All of them were Greg. His chest beneath my cheek. His strong arms cradling me. His thighs beneath me, supporting me.
Two things I could smell. Peppermint and cedar, of course. I drew in a heady breath, then another, and another.
One thing I could taste.
I leaned back, my gaze locking on his lips. I reached up to thread my hand through his hair, tugging his mouth toward mine. “Please?” I asked when he hesitated.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed, but he didn’t protest. His soft lips met mine in a tentative kiss that I lost myself in. Sparks jolted through me, burning the remnants of panic in their wake.
Greg finally pulled away, sucking in a ragged breath. “You okay?”
I nodded, wishing things were okay between us. I wanted more, wanted to push him to the bed where—
I shut down my thoughts and climbed off him. “Thank you,” I said softly.
His jaw clenched as he stood up and raked a hand through his hair. “You’re welcome.”
He turned to the door, and my nightmare sprang once more to the front of my mind. The walls already felt like they were closing in, more with every step he took away.
“Wait, Greg!” I called frantically. When he turned back toward me, I held out my hand, reaching for him. “Please. Please stay with me.” He frowned, but I didn’t give up. “It’s the only way I’ll sleep. I can already feel the panic coming for me.” I sounded broken to my own ears, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. “Don’t leave me.”
A whoosh of breath left him, and he hurried back to my side, scooping me once more into his arms. “I’m here, Jellybean, for as long as you need me.”
I huddled there for several long seconds, relief coursing through me as I soaked in his offered comfort. I knew things couldn’t go back to the easy way they’d been before the wedding. But we’d both been through an ordeal tonight, and I was grateful he was here.
I moved out of his embrace, laying down with my back to him. I scooted until my ass touched his hip, silently begging for him to hold me again. He read me loud and clear, his arm sliding under my head. His warm body curled around me, and I pressed against him. I felt safe in his embrace, folded neatly in his arms as if they would ward off any hint of bad dreams. Soon the rhythm of his chest brushing my back steadied, and I knew he’d fallen asleep.
I stayed awake, trying to still my jumbled mind. The door was propped open, illuminating a hallway beyond, and an LED lantern gleamed through. Warmth flooded me at the image of Greg making sure my door was open enough for me to have light. My throat grew tight as I slid my hand up to cover his, where it rested against my abdomen. I really could sleep safe tonight, thanks to Greg.
In more ways than one.
Stiffness, and not the fun kind, greeted me when I woke up. I groaned before I remembered I wasn’t alone. Or was I? There were no arms curled around me, no warm body pressed against my back. Greg’s side of the bed was empty and cold. He’d been up for a while then.
The muted light coming through the window gave no hint to what time it was. I tried to stretch, but it was too painful, so I gave up. I would have just been content to lie here forever, without exploring how excruciating standing would be. But I had to pee. Stupid bladder.
With a heavy sigh, I braced myself then just went for it. Bad idea. My neck and right shoulder screamed at me. Okay, I needed to baby them a little. So I shifted more onto my left side and managed to shimmy off the bed. Straightening fully also hurt but at least it was bearable.
I was still shirtless, only in my panties but I couldn’t even think about getting dressed. The less movement, the better. Each step was carefully measured and executed, bringing me that much closer to the door.
At last, I reached it, hoping there was a bathroom nearby. I peered down the hallway. To my left was the landing before the staircase, with another door between me and the stairs. Two doors beckoned across the way, and I took my chances on the farther one. A full-length mirror startled me, hanging on the wall at the end of the hall.
I lurched into view, biting back a gasp at the multi-colored stripe slashing across my torso. Holy shit. I stared at the band, dark red and deep purple that hovered on being blue mottled together from the top of my right shoulder to my opposite hip. Another gasp sounded behind me, and I saw Greg in the mirror.
“Jellybean.” My name came out as an apology, dripping with guilt and remorse. “Does it feel as bad as it looks?”