Page 84 of The Jellybean Dilemma

“All set.” His voice was gentle, as was his warm touch on my shoulder. “You can open your eyes now.” His thumb rubbed back and forth against my bare skin.

I wanted to cringe away from his touch, feeling dirty still.

His hand dropped away. Pain laced his words, and I knew he wanted to help when he said, “Tell me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

My hands came up to grip my biceps, shielding my chest as my chin dropped. “I want to take a shower.”

“Of course.” He hesitated. “Do you think you’ll want to go to bed after that?”

A wave of exhaustion hit me then, and I nodded, feeling completely drained on every level.

“Okay. I’ll meet you in the bedroom.” He stepped back reluctantly. “Just holler if you need anything, all right?”

Again, I nodded, then I forced myself to climb the stairs. In the shower, I scrubbed until my skin was pink, wishing I could scrub away my memories with it. I hated Kevin, hated what he’d done to me and the fearful mess I was reduced to. Why can’t I be strong and resilient? I didn’t deserve this, especially now when things with Greg were just starting to go right. I hoped this didn’t change things between us.

When I came out, my favorite pair of pajamas were sitting on the bathroom counter, and warmth spread through me at Greg’s thoughtfulness. I finished getting ready for bed, then I climbed under the covers next to him.

He lay on his side, watching my every motion. “Will you let me hold you, Rhonda?” His voice was full of raw need, desperation hovering in his eyes, but he didn’t move until I gave him permission. Then he crushed me to him, cradling me to his chest.

Tears leaked from me, and I started sobbing before I could stop myself. My thin hold on my self-control slipped as the events of the day caught up to me. But Greg was right there for me to lean on. He held me until my tears ran dry, not letting go even then.

* * * *

A couple of days passed in a muted blur. I didn’t sleep well, had no appetite. Didn’t go anywhere except from the couch to the bed and back again. I knew Greg was concerned, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

He’d brought up therapy several times, asking me to call them—for his sake, if not for my own. But it was so much work. I had to dial the number, explain the situation, make an appointment that fit in with my calendar. So many steps, and it was just…daunting. I just didn’t have the energy.

My phone sounded with a message from Avery, just checking on me. Again. I told her I was fine. Again.

Greg wasn’t home. He’d gone to his place to grab some things. He planned to pick up dinner on the way home and asked me to text him if anything sounded good.

I hadn’t texted him. I’d just sat here. I didn’t even play on my phone.

It wasn’t like me to do nothing. I was constantly moving, always going, my mind switching from one task to the next. Not only did I not have anything on my to-do list, I had no ambition to put anything on it. Was this how my life was going to be from now on? A big void of meaningless days that tumbled one after another like dominoes?

The door opened and in came Greg, a smile on his face, a box under one arm, and a bag from my favorite Chinese restaurant balanced on top of the box. “Hey,” he said, setting the stuff down and coming over to kiss my forehead.

I should’ve probably warned him I was greasy from not showering yet today. But I didn’t. I tried to smile, but his face fell, and I knew I had failed.

“Hungry?” Hope lit his face as he waited for my answer.

“Not really.” I hated being the one to douse the spark, but I didn’t want to lie either.

He shrugged. “Okay. Maybe in a little bit. I’m going to put my stuff away.”

After sticking the food in the fridge, he disappeared up the stairs. I sighed and resumed my staring.

Then our Bluetooth speaker in the living room kicked on, blaring Pony by Ginuwine, the iconic song from Magic Mike. Confused, I looked around, knowing I hadn’t started any music. And it wasn’t a song on Greg’s usual playlist.

Movement on the stairway caught my attention. His eyes held a mischievous glint, his lips tilted up in a sexy smirk, and his hips swayed to the heavy beat of the song as he descended.

My eyebrows shot up. What is going on?

He came to stand in front of me, touching my chin. “I’ve noticed you’ve been doing a lot of staring, and I thought, maybe you’d like a change of scenery.” His tone was all suggestion.

A spark of heat pierced the void inside me. “Are you offering to strip for me?”

His cheeks had a little extra color as he nodded. “If you think it’ll help.”

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