Page 29 of Shattered Wings

“Hey babe, will you get Blake settled? There’s something that I need to do before I join you both.”

Lach gives me an inquisitive stare but says, “yeah, of course I will. We’ll get the picnic stuff set up and then I’ll take her in the water.”

“Thank you. I’ll be back in a few,” leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Hopping out of the truck, the smell of salt assaults my senses. Nothing relaxes me quite like the beach. My tense muscles instantly relax. I walk about a half mile down the shoreline, seagulls squawk and dive into the water, looking for their next meal. I think I’m ready. My fingers have been playing with this ring in my pocket for the entire walk.

“Jaxon, I feel like I loved you for most of my life. But you broke my heart. You did more than break my heart, you broke me. I hope you’re up there living your best life. I hope you’re happy now. Thank you for leading me back to Lachlan all those years ago. Whether you meant to or not, it’s a gift that I appreciate. He’ll be an amazing daddy to Blakely.” Tears of happiness flow down the apples of my cheeks.

“I forgive you, Jaxon,” I whisper. And then I toss my wedding ring out into the ocean. I’m at peace now and I hope that Jaxon finally is, too.

Off in the distance, I can hear the squeals of laughter from Blakely. This all feels right, perfect, just as it was meant to be. It takes me about ten minutes to walk back to Lachlan and Blakely. She’s soaking and so is he, but now they’re sitting in the sand, building a sandcastle. It’s a picture perfect sight. Lachlan looks up to see me approaching, and he gives me one of those smiles meant for only me. This man sees me. He knows my whole heart, always has. Taking a seat next to him, he pulls me into his embrace.

“Did you do what you needed to do, baby doll?”

“I did. My heart feels so much lighter.” He didn’t know what I was going to do, but he knew that it was important to me. “I also wanted to tell you I finally spoke to a real estate agent and put my old house on the market last week. You’re stuck with us Lachlan Riley, and we’re never going to let you go.”

“You know I wouldn’t have it any other way, soon to be Mrs. Riley.”

Echo

Secrets, so many fucking secrets destroyed what we had. It destroyed what we could have been. There’s no one to blame but myself. Seeing him sitting on the sand with his arms wrapped around my wife, hands on her baby bump, has me ready to tear his fucking arms off his body. I want to tear him apart limb by limb. But I won’t do that to her or to Blakely. He’s what they need, what they deserve. Lachlan Riley is what Lia should have had all along. I never should have stood in the way. I’ll just sit and watch, taking out anyone who dares to ruin their happiness.

He’s put that beautiful smile back on her face. A smile that used to belong to me. But did it actually? Now he gets everything that used to belong to me. It didn’t truly belong to you, Jax. But I deserve it. I never deserved Lia. All I ever did was tell her lies. She should have been with Lachlan all along. If I wouldn’t have messed with her memory, she would have been with him. Lia would have never married me. I made her believe what I wanted her to believe. One thing that hurts the most is that I’ll never have the chance to raise my daughter. I don’t deserve an innocent soul like hers. I’d tarnish all the goodness inside her if she was stuck with a daddy like me.

A multitude of lies separated us. When I wrote that letter all those months ago, I wasn’t entirely truthful. I didn’t tell her I was the cause of her memory loss. I didn’t tell her the truth about Juliana either. All throughout our relationship she thought that we were each other’s firsts. That was a lie, too. She fucked Lachlan long before she fucked me. Let’s face it, they were in love with each other and I ruined it. And even though I was in love with her, I fucked Lexa, her best fucking friend. What kind of person does that shit to the girl he claims to love? Me, that’s who! That’s the real reason Lexa is the way she is. Once she sunk her claws into me, it was hard to get them out. She was so damn jealous of Lia, and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. I didn’t actually meet Ben during basic training, either. I met him long ago. We used to get high with Matthew back in the day.

Ben is where all of my issues come from. His obsession with Lia ruined my life. All those years ago, Ben saw Lia at his house party. Even saw her with Lachlan. Piece of shit wanted to keep the two of them apart by any means necessary. He knew that I drugged Illiana, resulting in her memory loss. Ben is actually the one who encouraged the drugging. He deserved to die. It should have been more painful, Jax. He also knew that I fucked Lexa. I’m sure Lachlan thinks that I was fucking around on Lia just for the fuck of it. That wasn’t the case at all, not in the beginning, at least. I loved that girl with my whole fucking heart. I felt like he stole her from me but that’s a whole different story.

Lexa wanted me, she always did. Ben wanted Lia, and he’d do anything in his power to have her. He used that shit against Lexa. I’m sure he threatened her, too. I wanted Lia, but I was all sorts of fucked up. Getting her to love me the way I did was more than wrong. But in my mind I had no other choice.

I know the two of them concocted some sort of plan, but then Ben went off the rails with his blackmail bullshit. That’s one of the reasons I had to kill his ass. Lia can never know the whole truth. It would kill her. Maybe Lexa needs to die, Jax. In order to keep my secrets hidden I need to kill anyone who knew about them.

Ben blackmailed me into doing shit that I didn’t want to do. I should have killed him a long time ago. He had proof of my wrong doing all along. On more than one occasion, he threatened to tell Lia everything if I didn’t do what he wanted me to do. He’s the one who practically forced me into fucking Christina and Juliana. He just kept building up more ammo to aid in my demise. In the end he didn’t realize that it would lead to his death. This is all my fault. If I would have just came clean then we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. I’ve lost my wife and daughter. They think I’m dead for crying out loud. I’ll never be able to come back from what I’ve done. That’s one of the reasons that I faked my death. I’m so damn embarrassed.

Lia and Blakely deserve a fresh start and I’m determined to make that happen, no matter how unhappy that makes me. I’ll die before I ever do them wrong again. It’s best if they think I’m dead. They can go on to live happy lives with a man that will love them with his whole heart. I’m a poison. All I do is infect the people that I love. It’s been a never-ending cycle that I’m determined to break, one way or another.

When I got Lexa and Matthew on my side, I convinced them that we needed to take Ben the fuck out, so that’s a plus for now. Lexa still wants my dick, so she’s easily manulipulated. There’s probably more that I’m missing. By the time we made it to Ben’s house on the night we killed him, police were swarming the place.

I can only hope that any evidence he had is well hidden, actually that doesn’t matter. Everyone thinks you’re dead, anyway. The truth won’t ever come back to get me. Haunt me, yes it definitely will. I’ll stay in hiding forever. They’ll never know that my body wasn’t the one that was in the casket. I was at my funeral, sitting in a car off to the side, hidden behind big oak trees. Everyone was crying, but Lia wasn’t. I’m sure she wasn’t happy that she didn’t get to see my body, but I planned it that way. I guess she’d found out a lot of truths by then. The only big loose end that I have left to tie up is that bitch down in South America. Juliana doesn’t know what’s coming for her, but she better prepare herself.

Get the fuck ready, bitch! I’m coming for you as long as a raven haired, gray eyed vixen doesn’t stop me. The plan was to always get shot on our deployment. I knew I’d end up in a military hospital in Germany. I just didn’t take into account how serious my injury would be. Kit Lendley was my savior, she just didn’t know it, or maybe she did. Her obsession with me knew no bounds. If I thought I could escape her after telling her all my secrets, I couldn’t have been more wrong. But that’s a story for another day. When I’m ready, I’ll tell you all about her Shattered Obsession.

Epilogue

ILLIANA (ONE YEAR LATER)

This last year has been one of the best years of my life. Lachlan and I got married a few weeks after he asked me to marry him. At that point, I think we’d both been waiting our entire lives, I just didn’t know it yet. It took me a while to catch up. He was my savior while waiting for me to figure it out.

Our wedding was a small beach affair. We ended up getting married on Navarre beach, the same beach we went to the day he asked me to marry him. The timing was just right for a sunset wedding. Remi was there and so was Ava, Lach’s sister. My mom and Lena were there as well. Blakely was our little flower girl. It was picture perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better day.

Our honeymoon was local. We stayed at a nice resort in Destin. Mom and Lena both stayed in town to watch Blake for a few days for us. I was too scared to leave my baby girl. Going across the country wasn’t an option at that point. So all we did was relax by the pool and have sex, lots and lots of sex. If I wasn’t already pregnant at that point, my husband would have made it happen then.

Harlow James Riley, our baby boy was born four months after we said I do. He’s the perfect version of his daddy. I swear when I stare into his green eyes, it’s just like looking into Lachlan’s. Lowe didn’t get a damn thing from me and that’s perfectly fine. He’s got the best daddy in the world and so does Blakely.

It’s been about eight months since Lowe was born and things have really settled down. Lachlan is working over at a security firm that Remi opened. Their friendship is stronger than ever. He’s just like a part of the family. Ava has been around a lot more often too. We’ve gotten close this past year. Something has been bothering her lately though. She hasn’t opened up to me about it so I’m hoping she’ll talk to someone.

Ava is actually in town this week to watch Blake and Lowe while Lach and I go on our official honeymoon. We’re heading to Brazil. I’ve always wanted to go so hubby is making my dream come true. Everything is packed and ready to go, bags are already loaded under the plane.

Lachlan just went to get me a latte. The days have been long and the nights have been even longer with Lowe in the house. He’s finally starting to sleep through the night but mama is tired, extra lately.

The hair on the nape of my neck begins to tingle. I swear eyes are on me. It’s a feeling I haven’t felt in a very long time. Turning around, I don’t see anyone. You’re safe, Lachlan will always keep you safe. Out of the corner of my eye I spot a cute little boy. He looks to be a year or so older than Blake. There’s something so familiar about him but I can’t place what it is. Looking up, I catch sight of a man that I thought died well over a year ago. No! That can’t be Jaxon. My eyes must be playing tricks on me. Rubbing my eyes, I blink a few times and they’re gone. What the fuck was that? I’m losing my mind.

Lachlan comes walking up, a strange look on his face too. Can this day get any weirder? It’s time for a vacation. Catch ya on the other side!

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