Page 60 of Lesson In Forgiveness

Grit loosened his arm from across her torso, reaching down to clasp her clammy hand. He winced when she latched onto it, squeezing so hard he swore his bones ground together. “That’s a good girl. You hold onto me. As tightly as you need.”

He set his fingertips in a cage around her pussy, pressing lightly. Hoping fervently for a miracle, he dragged his middle finger along her seam, encouraging her labia to part for the intrusion. Slick, wet heat soaked his pad, and he swirled it around her clit as a reward.

She tried to sit up, double over, panic in her voice. “Stop. Grit, stop.”

Not the safeword, he thought. “Breathe, Tabby. Breathe and let me catch you. I’m not going to let you fall.” He repeated the motion, a tender swipe followed by a quick tease. “I’m stretching your limits, I know. All you have to do is say the word and everything stops. I’m going to keep pushing until you either safeword or realize I’m the guy who will always be here for you.”

She was shaking so hard her teeth were chattering. He fucking hated that her trauma ran deep enough to form scars he couldn’t dream of healing. But the wounds he could fix, he would. They’d been left open and festering for too long, her phobias so monumental it was a wonder they hadn’t pulled her down into the murky waters of hell to drown.

Her grip on his hand grew brutal.

Setting his teeth lightly on her neck, he bit down hard enough to distract her as he slid his finger into her to the first knuckle. His resolve almost weakened when she yelped like a tortured dog, but she never said his name.

Settling his thumb on her clit, he added extra stimulation as he rocked his finger in and out of her snug entrance in tiny increments. Her yelps grew louder as though all she could feel was what had been done to her before.

“Easy, little tiger. Relax for me. Remember to stay here with me. My thumb on your clit, Tabitha. My finger in this wet little pussy. No one else, just me.” Grit emphasized all the possessives. He wanted to get through the memories swamping her and remind her that Dominic no longer existed in the world outside her head. “Me and you. I promised you that, didn’t I? Are you with me?”

“Y-Yes.” Her voice clogged with tears.

“Good girl. I need you to stay here. Feel my hand in yours. Hear my voice.” With a gentle thrust, he seated his digit fully, consumed with the sudden need to have all that snug, wet heat wrapped around his cock instead. Her muscles clamped down on him, holding him prisoner. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous, Tabby. I’m so fucking proud of you.”

She strangled herself on a sob.

“It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you.” Not daring to push his luck with a second finger, he fucked her gently, curling his digit to find her g-spot. Keeping light, constant pressure on her clit, circling the roughened pad of his thumb over the distended bud, he blew out a quiet breath of relief when her hips started to ride his hand.

Hesitantly, showing her inexperience, but enough that part of her was striving to bypass the fear to chase something better.

“Take it, Tabby. Whatever you need, just take it. I’m right here.”

“I can’t.”

“Don’t be scared. It’s not going to hurt.” Juices dripped into his palm, but still she resisted. Mind versus body. She was on the goddamn edge of falling into pieces, flying high with her first orgasm, but she needed a fucking shove.

“I can’t… I don’t… No, no, Grit, I—”

Luck be damned, he decided, and eased a second finger inside her. He felt her stretch around him, heard her breath seize before it erupted in a keening cry.

Her channel was spasming around him, tiny little flutters of a growing demand for more. He flexed his wrist, trying to avoid jabbing her, crooking his fingers against the magic spot. The flutters became squeezes, rhythmically sucking him deeper as he relentlessly drove her forward.

Nothing existed but her in this moment. When he was old and on his deathbed, riddled with arthritis and plagued with a failing memory, he swore he’d lose himself in the memory of here and now.

The scent of her arousal and sweat as she fell apart for the first time in her life. How she squirmed, her head thrashing on his shoulder, her body desperately seeking a release she was afraid to take. The noises she made—fuck, these goddamn noises were such a contradiction.

Fear and pleasure.

Acceptance and denial.

“I’ve got you, Tabby. I’ve always got you. Stop fighting me and just let go. I’m with you. I’m right here.”

Relief filled him when she went still, her panicked breathing slowing to fractured gasps. He felt the orgasm coiling, gathering on the cusp of freedom, and kept the pressure on her clit, on the rough pad of flesh inside her.

Her pussy was the first to detonate, clamping down on his fingers as her head kicked back into his shoulder. A sharp, shocked cry ripped out of her at the same time as her back bowed, her legs kicking out. She rode his hand blindly, twisting to evade the orgasm, but there was no escape, no evasion.

“That’s my girl. My good fucking girl.”

Slowly, he brought her down, ignoring the temptation to take her up again. One climax after a lifetime of fearing it was enough for now. Easing his fingers from the heaven of snug, wet heat, he tormented himself with a taste of her, sucking her juices off his skin with a groan.

God help him, when he got between her thighs, he might just stay there.

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