Page 99 of Lesson In Forgiveness

“We haven’t got much to lose, right?”

It wasn’t the overwhelming yes he’d prefer, and he wanted to admonish her for believing they had nothing to lose; in his mind, they had it all on the line, and he’d do whatever necessary to protect it.

Instead, he played it light. “Is that a yes to being my cabin bunny?”

“I… yes. This is it, Grit. Our place.”

“You belong here, Tabitha. You belong with me.” His heart did a slow roll in his chest when she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist. “We’re gonna make this work, little tiger. I don’t care what it takes, it’s you and me now.”

Her forehead thunked against his sternum. He loved how small she was, how delicate she felt in his arms even though she was strong enough to kick his ass to Alaska and back. “What if we… what if I can’t…”

“Finish the sentence.”

“Sex,” she whispered hollowly.

Fuck, he was hoping to tackle this issue a little later. The proposal he had in mind required tact and diplomacy to explain, yet he couldn’t lie to her now. If she was brave enough to raise the subject, he was man enough to give her honesty in return. “I was intending to talk to you about this, but you’ve beaten me to it. First of all, I love you, Tabitha. Body, brain, and heart. If time proves that intimacy of that level is too much, it doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you.”

He heard her breath catch, felt her breasts hitch against him.

“I talked to Evander about certain aspects of our relationship. Talking to someone about a problem is often useful,” he told her sternly when she stiffened. “Talking to me is a habit I’m going to encourage you to learn. He had a suggestion.”

She stepped back and skewered him with a glare. “You spoke to your new boss about our nonexistent sex life? How dare you.”

Luckily, he caught the edge of humor in her tone before he shot down her attitude. “Totally worth it when he gives good advice.” Without drawing her attention, he checked his watch, calculating the time. “Let’s walk and talk, little tiger. There’s something else you need to see.”

Tabitha nodded slowly, rubbing her cheek on his shirt in a way that suggested comfort rather than agreement. She eased away, letting her arms drop from around his waist. “Haven’t we had enough excitement for one day?”

Concern rippled through him. Studying her, he tipped her chin up with a fingertip, assessing everything from the lines around her eyes and mouth to the changing color of her irises. The blue was darkening to a shade he associated with her anxiety; a subtle tell he doubted anyone else would pick up on. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, Tabitha.”

She attempted to smile, but it fell horribly flat. “Putting pieces together before someone jams a knife under my ribcage is one of my talents, Grit. We need to talk is generally code for you’re not going to like this. Throw in that you’ve had a manly chat with Evander, he’s giving you helpful suggestions, and now we have to go see a mysterious something… that’s not a knife in my ribs, Grit, it feels more like a noose around my throat.”

He collared said throat with his hand, monitoring her pulse. “No noose, no leash, no chains. It’s only a suggestion, not an order. Just walk with me and listen, okay? Ten minutes, little tiger, that’s all I’m asking.”

She heaved a sigh, shooting mini daggers at him with her eyes. “Fine. For the record, you’ve asked a lot tonight. Many things,” she grumbled under her breath. “Many things, and singing rings, and the arcade machine goes ding-ding-ding.”

“None of that made any sense.” Grit bent and skimmed his lips over hers before releasing her neck. Reaching for her hand, he linked their fingers and led her from the bedroom. “Do you know you’re adorable when you go off on one of your rhyming tangents?”

A snort of disbelief was her answer.

“No, seriously. It’s like part of you regresses, softens, accesses some hidden reservoir of innocence. Half of what you babble is gibberish, but it’s kind of fascinating how your mind rolls it all together.” To his relief, she offered no resistance as they walked to the front door. Her fingers were chilled, her palm damp, but she trusted him enough not to balk. “It amazes me how you managed to protect your inner child.”

“There’s a big difference between protected and dead, Grit. They hollowed me out, carved me up, and what they couldn’t use, they left to rot. The rhyming isn’t the child I could’ve been expressing herself; it’s the toxic shit brewing from the dead pieces of me.”

“Hmm.” He heard the disapproval in the sound. Well, he better add this to the ever growing list of issues they needed to tackle. At this rate, he’d have to ask Connie to fly out and lock Tabitha in a room with her; the psychologist knew how to deal with rape victims a lot fucking better than he did.

It was hard to see Tabitha as a victim. The thick, volatile shell she’d built layer by layer around herself was damn near impenetrable unless a smart man knew where to look for the cracks. Her career as a killer might not endear her to many, but those who’d been victims themselves, those who understood that taking the law into vigilante hands was the only way to get real justice, would raise her high and worship the ground she walked on.

The one who got away and made a difference in the fucked up world where men believed they were gods.

Grit stepped out into the late afternoon heat, locking the door and pocketing the key once Tabby joined him on the steps. He was going to ask Evander about adding a porch, a quiet place where he could sit with Tabitha on his lap and just take time to breathe.

Unwilling to continue the previous track of conversation in case he inadvertently sent her plummeting down a rabbit hole of memories, Grit held his silence as they walked along the path. The crunch of gravel and birdsong were the most prominent noises in their surroundings; tomorrow, the peace would be shattered by the crews returning to the site.

“I don’t like surprises, Grit.” Tabitha kept pace beside him, her stride even and purposeful. Obviously, she was determined to prove she was strong, unfazed by whatever was heading her way. “If you’re going to explain whatever the fuck is going on, now would be the time.”

Heading away from the cabins, he steered her in the direction of the main play areas. The proposed plan was solid; finding the words to lay it out wasn’t quite as simple. “Eli and Evander had a few issues with Callie due to her past. She’s reactive to certain triggers like whips and belts. Has she spoken to you about that?”

She shrugged. “I offered to kill her father for her. She said no, but he’s on my list for when I get bored. The other asshole who abused her is already dead, more’s the pity.”

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