Page 44 of Disciplined: His Forbidden Crush

Summer sobbed into the bedcovers, knowing already what his answer must be, and hating it.

Chapter Eighteen

Summer wiped away the last of his tears, staring at the reflection of his puffy eyes in the mirror. He took a deep breath and pushed his hair back from his face. He had to be strong now, no matter how much it hurt. Whether he went back to Colombia or not, he’d lose Rafael one way or another. The only way to ensure Rafael’s safety from his father’s wrath was to face this head-on.

He left the sanctuary of his bedroom and found Rafael in the kitchen, sipping coffee at the table. The grim expression on his bruised face made Summer’s heart ache. God, he loved this man. He always had. Foolish, sixteen-year-old Summer, realizing for the first time that he was attracted to men. Not just any man—Rafael, the dangerous and unattainable enforcer for his father’s cartel—and only realizing that when Rafael was locked up. It had been terrifying then, but nothing compared to the dread gnawing at his insides now.

“Rafael,” Summer said quietly, approaching the table. “I have to ask you something.”

“Ask,” Rafael said, his voice low and guarded.

“Will you let me go if I ask you to?” Summer asked, his voice barely a whisper. He couldn’t bring himself to look Rafael in the eye, fearing the raw emotions that would surely be reflected back at him.

Rafael closed his eyes for a moment, the pain of the question evident on his face. “If you insist,” he answered quietly, “but you know your father will send someone to find you. It might even be me. If he forgives me for losing you,” Rafael added.

Summer nodded, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat. Rafael would do that for him. So he had to do this for Rafael.

“I’ll go back to Colombia with you,” he said, his voice stronger now. “I’ll try to be a good son for my father.” He saw the surprise flash across Rafael’s face and gave a small, sad smile. “But it won’t last. One day, I’ll break or run again.”

“Summer...” Rafael started, but Summer held up a hand to stop him.

“Please, just accept it. I can’t keep it up forever. But maybe this way, we both survive a little longer.” Rafael studied him for a moment, then seemed to accept the inevitability of Summer’s decision. They were both trapped in a life they could not escape, but love demanded sacrifices, no matter how painful.

“Before we leave, can I have one last day of freedom here in L.A.?” Summer asked, desperation seeping into his voice. “I want to see my friends one last time.”

Rafael hesitated, seeming like he was going to refuse.

Summer blurted out, “Can’t you understand why I need this last taste of freedom? Going back to Colombia is like a prison sentence. You of all people should know how I feel.”

After a few moments of reflection, Rafael finally nodded. “Alright, you can have your day. But after that, we go back to Colombia together.”

“Thank you,” Summer breathed out, relief flooding through him. At least he could have one final day in the sun.

***

The morning weather was perfect as Summer ordered breakfast. The scent of freshly baked Portuguese tarts filled the café. When the server brought their order, Summer made an effort to be cheerful, in spite of Rafael’s grim expression.

“Try this,” Summer said, pushing a cup of coffee toward him. “You won’t be disappointed.”

Rafael eyed the steaming cup suspiciously before taking a cautious sip. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and a small, genuine smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “This is good, actually.”

“See? I told you.” Summer teased him, his own smile widening at Rafael’s reaction. “You’re such a coffee snob.”

“It’s criminal what the gringos do to our finest Colombian coffee. They burn it,” Rafael replied drily.

Summer snorted and picked up a tart. “You have to try these. They’re incredible.”

He watched as Rafael took a bite of a tart. There! He saw the moment Rafael’s tongue was flooded with sweet custard. Oh yeah, Rafael was having an experience.

Summer smiled. “Good?” he asked coyly.

Rafael nodded and took another bite. Summer decided that was affirmation enough.

After finishing their breakfast, they headed to the Santa Monica pier. Rafael looked around, frowning. “It looks familiar, like something out of a movie.”

“Probably because it’s been featured in so many of them,” Summer responded, leading Rafael to the edge of the beach. They removed their shoes and stepped out onto the warm sand, venturing closer to the water.

Summer noticed two men further down the beach holding hands and felt a pang of longing in his chest. He wished he could take Rafael’s hand, feel their fingers intertwining, a simple gesture that would never be possible for them. The realization hit him hard, rekindling the sadness that had already settled over him.

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