Page 46 of Disciplined: His Forbidden Crush

“Perhaps another club,” he suggested, but Lila insisted, talking about some DJ who was only in town this weekend.

Rafael gave Summer a curious look, and Summer leaned in to whisper to him. “It’s a gay club. We don’t have to go. I understand if that’s too much.”

To Summer’s surprise, Rafael shrugged and said, “One night can’t hurt.”

Really? Is this change all due to that painting? It can’t be.

With this settled, they all made their way to the club, and once inside, the pulsing beat of the music threatened to drown out Summer’s fears for the future. The club’s vibrant lights cast a kaleidoscope of colors on the dance floor and the bodies on it, and Summer glanced at Rafael as the man took in the open sexuality that surrounded him.

“All right?” Summer asked discreetly.

Rafael laughed out loud. “Oh, you think I can’t handle this? You’ve never been in a prison shower.”

Oh, so he was going to be like that, was he? “Then you should dance with me,” Summer teased. “It’d be fun.”

Rafael shot him a look that clearly said ‘not happening’ before making his way to the bar. He signaled for a shot of tequila and downed it, his face contorting into a grimace before he ordered another.

Summer watched him for a moment before turning back to Coco and Lila. They were already on the dance floor, lost in the music, their bodies swaying to the beat with unabashed enthusiasm. With a sigh, Summer slipped into the crowd with them, hoping the music could wash away everything that would come tomorrow.

His body came alive with the rhythm of the music, swaying in concert with Lila’s as she laughed and twirled around him. Coco danced nearby, her freckles glowing in neon shades that matched her brightly dyed hair. The joy he felt being with Coco and Lila was warm and precious. It felt like such a perfect snapshot of happiness, and Summer wished he could hold onto it forever.

But as he looked up from the dance floor, catching sight of Rafael leaning against the bar, all those feelings of happiness were tempered by the heavy weight of sorrow. He knew that he was leaving behind more than just his friends; he was leaving behind a world where he could be open and free, a world that Rafael would never truly fit into.

His heart clenched at the thought, and he closed his eyes, trying to focus on the feel of Lila’s hand in his, the sound of Coco’s laughter over the music. The bass thumped through Summer’s body as he swayed to the music. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Rafael watching him. His unreadable expression seemed to hold a mixture of fascination and discomfort as he watched Summer dance.

As Summer watched, a man approached Rafael, clearly interested in the brooding stranger. Summer’s gut lurched—if Rafael was offended… But Rafael didn’t even spare him a glance, cutting him off with a curt gesture while his gaze remained locked on Summer. Of course. Rafael had fucked men before, he had no doubt been approached by them in bars or wherever he’d met them.

Rafael’s eyes were still fixed on him. It gave him a thrill, but it was bittersweet. He wished Rafael could enjoy himself in this world, just like he did. Closing his eyes, Summer allowed himself a brief fantasy—a future where Rafael fit perfectly into his life. He imagined the two of them dancing together, their bodies pressed close, grinding against each other to the rhythm of the music. In his mind, he felt the heat of Rafael’s body, the strength of his arms wrapped around him, and the intoxicating mix of tequila and desire on his breath.

If only. But it was just a fantasy, and it couldn’t come to pass.

Chapter Nineteen

In the dimly lit, pulsating atmosphere of the club, Rafael leaned against the bar, his eyes never straying from Summer as he danced with Coco and Lila. The way Summer’s auburn hair cascaded down his back, catching the strobe lights as he moved, mesmerized Rafael. He could feel the beat of the music thumping in his chest, mirroring the ache he felt for the young man on the dance floor.

Rafael knew he was an outsider to Summer’s world—too macho, too dangerous, and too repressed. His thoughts wandered to the painting he’d seen earlier that day, depicting gagged and bound men. It had struck him that he was gagged and bound himself, unable to reach for what he wanted. Watching Summer, he saw someone unfettered and free, and Rafael envied him his courage.

“Hey there, Mister Tall, Dark, and Broody,” said Summer’s friend—Lila?—bouncing up to the bar beside Rafael. She ordered water and turned to him, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “So, are you Summer’s new boyfriend?” she asked playfully.

Rafael tensed instinctively at her question, ready to refuse vehemently. But something inside him asked: what harm would it do? They would be gone tomorrow. Lila would never see Summer or Rafael again.

With a shrug, he managed a casual, “Sure.”

“Oh, that’s great! Congrats!” Lila exclaimed. “Are you a hug person? I wanna hug you.”

“No,” Rafael said curtly.

Lila nodded sympathetically. “I get it. Trauma. Well, Summer’s New Boyfriend, let me know if I ever reach friendship level ‘hug’.” She beamed, downing the rest of her water before shimmying her way back to the dance floor. Rafael watched her go, wondering if it could really be that easy to be open like Summer and his friends. But he knew he couldn’t choose this path; Garcia would never allow them to escape his clutches.

The song changed. Rafael watched Summer skim through the crowd, like a lithe, boneless creature. He slid up to Rafael at the bar, his cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. “You gonna buy me a drink or what?” he teased, playfully nudging Rafael’s shoulder. “Because someone will, and I’m hoping it’s you.”

“Alright,” Rafael said, signaling the bartender. He ordered the fruitiest cocktail on the menu, much to Summer’s evident delight. He accepted the drink with a beaming smile.

“Hey, Coco told me she congratulated you on being my new boyfriend,” Summer said shyly, looking into his drink. “Did you really tell her that?”

“Sure,” Rafael replied, his voice betraying a hint of discomfort. But deep down, he wondered what it would be like to call Summer his boyfriend in public.

“Huh,” Summer breathed, taking a sip of his cocktail before meeting Rafael’s gaze. “I never thought you’d let someone believe something like that.”

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