Page 55 of Disciplined: His Forbidden Crush

As the gun jabbed hard into his chest, Rafael couldn’t help imagining the moment the bullet slammed into him, shredding muscle and bone on its path to exit. Would he feel the pain of the bullet tearing through him? Would he bleed out slowly, each heartbeat bringing him closer to the void?

His mind raced back over the many men he had killed for Garcia, to the first time he shot a man, forever etched in his memory. It had been a slow, agonizing death—the man begging and pleading for his life, gasping for breath as blood bubbled from his mouth. Rafael remembered the sickening feeling as he pulled the trigger, watching the man’s eyes widen with shock as the bullet hit. And then, waiting for him to die. It had been the worst thing Rafael had ever done, and he had done it for Garcia, for the cartel. He had done worse for Garcia since.

Now he thought that if his own end was just as brutal, then he would have earned it.

“Is this how you repay my trust, Rafael?” Garcia spat, his voice thick with contempt. “By violating my son?”

Yes, Garcia was going to kill him. Rafael swallowed hard, his throat dry as dust. For a heart-stopping moment, Rafael considered the possibility that Garcia might choose not to kill him outright, opting instead for a more drawn-out, torturous demise. He could keep him alive for days, weeks, months, exacting his revenge in the cruelest of ways. But despite this fear, Rafael took a deep breath and prepared to face whatever end awaited him.

“Go ahead, jefe,” Rafael said, his voice steady. “Do what you must.”

“Please, Papá, don’t!” Summer’s voice was wild and high, his anguish so jagged that it tore at Rafael’s heart. He endured a deep, aching pain at the sound of Summer’s despair.

Be strong, He willed silently, his dark eyes locked onto Summer’s. Be brave, bichito.

“Papá, you can’t kill him! Rafael has always been loyal to the cartel. He’s sacrificed so much for us!” Summer pleaded. His face was wet with tears, his eyes red and swollen. He was still so beautiful. “He’s killed for you, bled for you. Five years in prison…how can you repay him like this?”

“Silence!” Garcia roared. “That loyalty means nothing now, not after what he’s done!”

Perhaps, Rafael thought wildly, he should have run when Summer asked. If they had, then they could have had more time together. So little time they’d shared, and in the end Rafael was still going to die for it. Perhaps that fantasy would have been worth it, a few more months with Summer in his arms, nights with Summer in his bed. To kiss Summer awake in the mornings and know that Summer wanted him.

God, Rafael felt the frustration of a life wasted rise in him. Everything he’d ever done for Garcia and the cartel, and none of it meant anything. He had hidden the truest part of him all those years for nothing. There had never been any other end but this. And he had chosen this end for himself, like a fucking fool.

Too late. None of it mattered now. All he could do was die like a man.

“Papá, please,” Summer pleaded passionately. “Don’t hurt Rafael. I love him...I’ve always loved him, even when I was just a boy.”

Rafael felt a sharp pang in his chest, as if someone had driven a stake through his heart. The raw emotion in Summer’s voice resonated in him, stirring a mixture of awe, pain, and longing.

“Always?” Garcia sneered, his dark eyes narrowing dangerously. “You think you know what love is? You’re nothing but a naïve child, and this pendejo has taken advantage of your foolishness.”

“Maybe I am naïve,” Summer shot back. “But I know how I feel, Papá. I love Rafael, as a man.”

“Enough!” Garcia bellowed.

But Summer would not be silenced. He held up his hand in supplication, tears running down his face. “It’s true. And I’ll do anything you ask—be the obedient son you’ve always wanted—if you let him go.”

Rafael’s chest tightened at the agony in Summer’s voice. It was true. No matter what happened now, Summer had loved him.

“All that,” Garcia spat, “for a man who seduced and abused you. ¡Idiota! Do you think he loves you?”

“He doesn’t have to love me,” Summer declared, his voice trembling with emotion. “I love him, and that’s the only thing that matters. If you spare him, I promise I’ll be good for the rest of my life. Just let Rafael go free.”

The desperation in Summer’s voice tore at Rafael. Summer loved him. Summer didn’t know. Rafael had never really told him, and Summer thought Rafael did not...

“Why?” Garcia sounded bewildered. Still angry, but now unable to comprehend the immense stupidity of his son. “Why would you beg for a man who doesn’t care for you?”

“You’re wrong,” Rafael cut in, unable to leave this unsaid. The gun shoved hard into his chest, and for a moment he thought Garcia would pull the trigger before he could finish. It was now or never. He looked Summer in the eye, knowing this might be the last thing he ever said. “I care for you.”

But that wasn’t enough. Too little, too late. He had to say it right.

“Te amo,” he said, and the words felt like breathing out, like a weight gone from him. I love him. And now he knows.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Te amo.

Summer had heard those words once before, secret in the dark. He’d wanted to believe them, wanted them to be true. And he’d told himself it was something people said during sex, so perhaps Rafael hadn’t meant them.

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