It was the aftermath, in her bed with her head on my chest and our limbs entangled that she looked up at me, smiling, then looked away.
“What?” I said.
“I think.” She laughed. “I love you, Lucian.”
I was quiet for a moment. The only words my lips could form were, “Oh shit.”
“What?” she said, sitting up and wrapping the blanket around her chest. “What do you mean oh shit?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t have the space for someone else.” I knew those words were true. “My apologies.”
Could I love her? Is it fear of what caring for another would mean for me, or was this always simply sex?
Eleanora scoffed. She raised her hands and shoved them back in her lap. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that!”
“Do with it whatever you’d like.”
Her eyebrows fell and she said, “I’d like you to get out of my room.”
I nodded, tugged my shirt over my head, and my pants back on. “Understood,” I said softly.
Then I left.
The next time she came back, I told her she had the right idea when she left.
Now, I sit between Yuki and Fleur and drink some more, ignoring the chatter around me until Eleanora laughs and says, “Oh my gods, did you see the new girl?”
Jermoine takes a sip, “Tragic.”
Eleanora addresses the group and says, “You should’ve seen her when Kai…” She sticks out her tongue and shakes her body.
“What’s her name?” I ask.
“I don’t know, like, Deserae or something?” Eleanora shrugs. “Who cares?”
Calista sits between Fleur and Eleanora, giving me a nasty glance, considering tonight’s events. “Can I?” She doesn’t wait for an answer before pulling the bottle from Jermoine’s hand and taking a sip as if it’s water and she’s dehydrated.
“Okay then,” Jermoine scoffs.
“Anyone have…?” Calista puts two fingers to her lips and inhales.
“For sure,” Yuki says and lights a joint.
He passes it to me first and I touch the bottom of my chin where his bruise is, saying, “You got something…”
“Oh, man, you should see the other guy,” Yuki laughs.
“Right, where is he?” Breck says, sitting next to Jermoine. “I think congratulations are in order.”
“Hey, hey, it was like half a fight!” Yuki argues.
“I wasn’t sure we’d even begun,” I add. Eleanora and Fleur giggle.
Calista turns to me with clear animosity. “Are you done hogging it?”
I hand it to her. “Here you go, Princess.”
She sneers. “I don’t know why you say it like an insult when it’s clearly not.”