Page 145 of Dirty Like Dylan

Liv frowned and handed off our menus to the waiter, who gave me a sympathetic smile. Maybe he had an annoying big sister, too.

“And extra olives in the martini, please,” I added, just before he vanished.

“So,” Liv said, “I’m assuming we’re here so you can announce your latest airline ticket purchase and globetrotting plans.”

I just looked at my sister for a long moment, searching her hazel eyes. Then I asked her, “Why don’t you like it when I go away? It’s not like we hang out all the time when I’m here.”

“I never said I didn’t like it.”

“The disapproval is dripping off of you. But I’m happy when I travel. I love traveling, and I love the work I do while I’m traveling.”

“I know you do.”

“So?”

“So…” She hesitated, then sighed. “Every time you come back, you’re just a little less of the Amber I used to know.” Her voice had softened, and I glimpsed something in her eyes. Sadness?

It kind of stunned me.

“What?”

“You change, Amber. Every time you go out there on your own, you come back more… alone. You get more prickly and jaded and more stuck in your ways. And that chip on your shoulder just gets bigger.”

“It does?”

“And I get more and more worried about you.”

I blinked at her. “You’re worried about me?”

“Yes. I’m worried that you’re giving up on the idea of ever not being alone.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

Was she right?

After an uncomfortable silence, the waiter returned with our drinks. Liv raised her martini in reluctant toast, sighing again. “Wherever you go this time, I just hope you have fun.”

I touched my glass to hers and sipped. “Me too.” It was tough to swallow around the lump forming in my throat. I was trying to work up the nerve to ask her what I wanted to ask her. And it had nothing to do with leaving.

“You’re twenty-seven,” she went on, “and you should be partying and falling in love, not wandering from hostel to hostel, alone.”

I set my drink down. My heart was beating too hard and my palms were starting to sweat; I was afraid I’d drop the glass. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She stared at me, like what I’d said didn’t compute at all. “Say that again?”

“I’m not going anywhere. That’s not why I asked you to meet me today. I just thought we should have dinner. You know, we’re sisters. And I’m here right now.” I looked away, unable to take that shocked look on her face anymore. “Did you know that Dylan has regular family dinners at his mom’s place? Like all the time, when he’s home from the road. And sometimes, his family even goes to visit him on tour…”

When I glanced at Liv, her eyes had narrowed at me.

“Dylan?” she asked. “As in Dylan Cope?”

As if there were any other Dylan in our lives.

“I went to see Mom,” I told her. “A few days ago.”

Liv’s back straightened; she seemed annoyed by the topic change, but she let it slide. Barely. Her eyes narrowed even more and she asked, “And how did she seem?” like she already knew the answer. Because of course, she did.

“She seemed exactly the same. It’s like a fucking time warp over there. Nothing ever changes.”

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