Page 150 of Dirty Like Dylan

I drew a ragged breath and collapsed against her, just trying not to crush her in the process. My whole body had turned to jelly. “Holy fuck.”

“Yeah,” she sighed and kinda giggled, her hands drifting lightly up my back, then into my hair.

We lay like that for a long while, breathing hard. I couldn’t think. My brain had finally shut down.

Thank fuck.

Eventually, Amber slithered out from beneath me to take a quick shower. “I’m all covered in come,” she said, kissing my cheek. I smacked her ass as she went, and watched her dash into the bathroom, naked.

While she was gone, I tried not to start brooding and fucking sulking again. It was pretty much all I’d done today. We didn’t even finish recording “Blackout” because the drums needed to be laid down again. I kept fucking it up, and I never fucked up. I had the song nailed in rehearsal, could play this whole album backwards and forwards, but today, I’d fucked up.

Woo had finally called it and sent me home early.

And everyone had definitely seemed a little concerned and confused by my performance.

Why so tense? Elle had asked me gently as I left.

He just needs Ash and their girl to polish his knob, Zane had cut in. He’ll be good as new tomorrow.

I didn’t even bother responding to that. Zane had been making juvenile jokes about Ash polishing my knob for the last five years. Was probably just jealous we’d never invited him in for a gang bang.

When Amber came back to bed, she collapsed against me, all soft and warm and smelling of my shower gel, and I put my arm around her. She lay her head on my chest. I could’ve fallen asleep, I was that comfortable, even though it was barely seven p.m..

I laid my hand on her bare hip and ran my thumb up and down the curve of her hipbone.

“I’ve been thinking,” I told her. “You asked me to tell you about my gnarly stuff. My worst qualities. And I realized I never really answered you on that. So I guess that’s one of my worst qualities.”

“What is?”

“I just tend to avoid confrontations and drama and, I dunno, upsetting people.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad quality to me,” she said.

“I can be pretty laid-back.”

“I noticed.”

“Some people find it aggravating.”

She peered up at me. “Why?”

“I dunno. Maybe you get mad about something, get worked up, and I don’t. Instead, I check out. That can infuriate some people.”

Her lips twitched in amusement. “Bet it infuriates the shit out of Ashley.”

“Sometimes.”

“So why don’t things upset you?”

“They do. I just don’t dwell on them. Or I avoid them. I disappear.” Even as I said it, I knew I wasn’t being fully honest. I’d be upset as hell if she walked out of my life right now, got on that plane to Thailand or wherever.

“So what does upset you?” she asked me.

“People I care about being upset, I guess.”

She shook her head, rolling it back and forth on my chest a little.

“What?”

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