Page 166 of Dirty Like Dylan

“Cool,” Ash said, but then he shook his head, too. “Fucking crazy, actually.”

“Yeah.”

“But I meant… how’s Amber?” He met my eyes, and there it was. That fucking anxiety, his eyebrows pulled together with a deep crease between them.

“Happy, I think.” I settled in, leaning on the island. “You know, taking photos, that’s her happy place.”

Ash said nothing. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and joined me at the island. He leaned beside me as we drank.

After a moment, he opened his mouth to speak. I could feel him trying to work up the nerve.

Fucking shit.

Here it comes.

“I told her… I’m falling in love with her,” he said, finally.

“You did?” I looked into his eyes, and I saw all the vulnerability there. He was serious, and whatever had come of it, it wasn’t good.

“Day before yesterday. While you were at the studio.” He turned to look directly in my face, his brow all creased, studying my reaction to this. Like he was worried what I’d think.

“And…?”

“And…” He sucked back a hard breath. “And she doesn’t love me.” He took a pull off his beer, but he was still watching me.

“She said that?”

“She didn’t have to. She, uh, tried to let me down easy.”

I watched him swig his beer, not even sure what to say.

“So… am I supposed to get the gun now?” I offered, attempting a joke.

He stared at me.

“You said if you fell in love again, that I was supposed to—”

“Amber’s a special girl,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”

I knew. But I didn’t know what to do with his pain anymore. I didn’t have a clue what to say about what he’d just told me; that Amber didn’t love him.

I had so many mixed feelings over hearing that it wasn’t funny.

Relief that Amber wasn’t in love with Ash. Sympathy for Ash that she wasn’t in love with Ash. Hope that maybe she wasn’t in love with Ash because she was in love with me.

Guilt that maybe she wasn’t in love with Ash because she was in love with me.

“Actually,” he said, his voice rough, “she told me I’m in love with you.”

He looked away and guzzled more of his beer.

I said nothing as he rubbed a hand through his hair. But a deep, dark chasm was opening up inside my guts, making my stomach drop out the bottom.

“Actually,” he said, “she told me to tell you I’m in love with you.”

“Ash—”

He turned and hit me with a kiss before I knew what was coming. I didn’t push him off. I fucking froze as his lips pressed to mine. He breathed against my face, a hungry sound, in-between a sigh and a groan. He pushed up against me and his hands gripped my face, like he never wanted to let me go.

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