Page 35 of Raven's Dawn

“Seems to be your catchphrase.”

He chuckled.

“How did you do it?”

“You really want to know?” He smirked at me over his shoulder. “Because I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”

“I take it back. That’s your catchphrase.”

“You want my advice or not?”

“Well, I don’t want to get into another fistfight with Graham,” I grunted, “so yes. Bestow your wisdom upon me.”

“It makes you very uncomfortable that you’re my grandpa and I’m eons older than you, doesn’t it?”

“It makes me very uncomfortable that I am a grandpa.”

“Touché.”

This back and forth drove me insane with both Jeremy and Laila. They danced around the points they were trying to make in almost every conversation. It was like they enjoyed the wordplay more than actually telling you something.

“No, we’re great conversationalists. You’re just boring and don’t like to banter.”

“I’m not boring. We’re having a legitimate conversation, and you take any opportunity to joke when we should be handling something serious.”

“Because I like actually conversing, I’m not being serious?” Before I could respond, he waved me off. “Meditation. Mindfulness. Breathing exercises.”

Narrowing my gaze, I snorted. “I’m supposed to meditate in the midst of a battle.”

“See? I knew you weren’t gonna like it.”

“You’ve got to realize how ridiculous that sounds.”

“Do you even know what mindfulness is?” I was prepared for a dirty look, but the expression he gave me––his aforementioned grandfather––held the overwhelming smugness of someone who knew they understood the universe better. Which may’ve been true, and no, I didn’t like it. “It’s not about clearing your mind. It’s not about ignoring your thoughts. It’s not about letting yourself go on autopilot.

“It’s about witnessing something, registering it, acknowledging it, and not letting it affect you. Acceptance. Which is probably what Graham does in a battle that you don’t. He sees what’s in front of him, and he acts on it. You panicked. Where’s Rain? Where’s Ezra? Are they okay? Are they hurt? Am I ever going to see them again?

“And, sure. All of those thoughts are reasonable. And all those emotions can fuel you, yes. But when it comes time to slow down, when the fight is weaning off, instead of panicking because they were gone, you could’ve reframed those thoughts. I don’t know where they are, but I would feel if they were hurt. They must be okay, at least until I can get to them. And if you had done that, you would’ve remembered that Laila had access to them at all times. Maybe you would’ve even realized that Graham wasn’t aware of what was going on. Maybe you also wouldn’t have screamed at the King of Hell.”

Another grunt.

I hated not knowing what the fuck I was doing.

“No one expects you to understand all of this on day one. And it is day one, by the way.” Again, he tugged on the reins, and we dropped closer to the ground. This time, my stomach flipped at the change in elevation. “Just swallow your pride and course correct when you do fuck up.”

A modest man, I was not. But an honest one, I was. I had no problem admitting that my pride was too large to swallow.

“And I appreciate that,” I said. “But honestly, you talk like an oracle ninety-nine percent of the time. I have no idea what advice you’re trying to give me.”

“What don’t you understand?”

“Your contradictions. One second, you say my aggression’s a benefit. Use it to my advantage. Then you say that I need to stop it.”

“Not stop it.” Over his shoulder, his face screwed up. “Control it. Two things can be true at once, Warren. Your biggest advantage can also be your biggest fault.”

I wished desperately that my brain worked the way his did, but that still sounded like a contradiction to me.

A cloud of steam billowed before his lips with a sigh. “A gun can save a life. It can also take a life. That’s why you learn to use it before you carry it around on your hip. That rage inside you isn’t innately bad. It’ll protect you and the people you love. But if you don’t control it, you’re gonna shoot yourself and those you’re trying to protect.”

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