Page 56 of The Wolf Moon

“Cynthia,” I screamed her name, abandoning all ideas of keeping her presence a secret. I screamed for her, even as the flames roared to life around the temple angrily. “Cynthia!” I screamed even as it hurt my throat and then my scream only rose wordlessly when a portion of the ceiling fell damningly into the terrifying and destructive fire.

“Let go!” I mustered every bit of pain and rage into my command, turning my attention on Roman with such heat that when the command hit him, there was no resistance. He was knocked back, stumbling, and then on one knee as though winded.

I immediately used my freedom to run towards the temple as though I could pull Cynthia out myself. I ignored the wolves nearby, approaching as close as I could before the heat of the fire was too much for me to move closer. The smoke was terrible and vast, billowing from the destroyed building as though it wanted to blot out the sky completely. I tried to step even closer, but the flames licked at my skin painfully until I had no choice but to step back.

“Cynthia,” I cried out hopelessly, stepping back further and falling down onto my own knees. She was gone. In just moments, she was gone. Without a word or a cry, she was gone. Had the Crone told her this would happen? Was that why she didn’t follow me out? She knew Roman would be waiting and there would be no escape regardless… had she been protecting me?

It was my fault. I wasn’t careful enough.

Tears were falling over my cheeks and I didn’t know for how long. The wolves nearby had begun to stand again and still I remained, crying helplessly in pain. One reached out for me, whether to console or to obey whatever command Roman may have given in my grief, but my power rose within me angrily before they could.

“Don’t touch me,” I snarled furiously and they were unable to approach any further. I wasn’t sure of so many things in that moment except for one. I was done. I was done with the wolves. I was done with Goddesses and paths. I was done.

I wiped my face, my hands blackened by the nearby smoke, and then pushed myself from the ground stiffly. I turned silently towards the wolves, most of them familiar to me. I felt I might kill them all, Caleb included, if they tried to say one word to me. They must have felt it as well because they all merely stepped away, the wolves from the other packs as well, submissively.

I walked towards that hidden door, now flooded with thick smoke. Roman stood next to it, his own features carefully expressionless as he watched me approach. I stopped just before it, turning to look where Cynthia had stood the first night I’d met her. I remembered her lifting her candle, pointing south, and I turned towards this directly stiffly.

And then I began to head home.

The way in which I walked through the trees could only be described as puppet-like. A string tugged on one foot, lifting my leg, and released it before doing the same with the other. I didn’t run. I didn’t walk with the speed of someone making an escape. I walked, mindlessly yet entirely determined, towards my past. I could still taste the smoke on my tongue and its flames flickered behind my eyes like a never ending nightmare. It was all I could think about as I walked forward.

“Milena,” Roman’s voice followed me, much softer than before.

I ignored him. I didn’t want to hear his voice. I didn’t want to see his face. I wouldn’t even give the beast inside of me its own voice. If it was even there, it was buried deep, hiding from the pain I was suffering without it.

“Milena,” Roman repeated and I felt the touch of his grip wrap around my arm.

I paused, turning to look at his hand as though it were something inexplicable. I was done. Didn’t he know I was done? Why did this beast follow me? I looked from his grip to his face slowly in confusion.

“Let go,” I suggested, my voice light as though I were offering him a drink of water rather than demanding him to release me.

“Come back,” He made his own suggestion.

“No,” I answered, my mind and tone sharpening. He tightened his grip on my arm firmly.

“I didn’t know there was someone in there,” Roman said, beginning to explain himself unlike the typical ‘no mercy, no remorse’ type of demeanor he took. “I had to make a statement for the brother packs. I didn’t know-”

“Let go,” I interrupted him, “Or else I’ll make you let go.”

“Milena,” He began.

“Don’t call my name,” I snapped. “I’m done with all of this. Whatever all of this is… I didn’t ask to be here. And unless you’re going to kill me right now, I’m going home.” I reached determinedly for my own arm just above his grip, my hand shifting into dangerous claws without a second thought, and aimed to slice into the meat of my own flesh. Roman released me immediately in surprise.

“You would rip your own arm off?” He asked me, but I only let my hand slip back into that of a human’s before beginning my trek back towards where I would find my village. I could hear his steps behind me, following me quietly. Each step was like a pinch of pain on my spine, irking me further and further until I stopped.

“Do you want to know what I said to the Crone?” I asked the emptiness in front of me. Roman had halted behind me, waiting for me to answer my own question quietly. “I asked her to stop punishing you. Isn’t that… stupid of me? I asked her to stop punishing you and you punished me. You killed…” I saw a flash of Cynthia’s face in my mind and stopped speaking for fear of losing control of myself.

“Mila-,” Roman began, but I cut him off again.

“I think I’m in love with you,” I said painfully, reaching for my chest as though I could just rip my own heart out, “But I can’t stand to look at you right now. You’re a… a monster. An actual, real life monster. You kill… so many people every year. And you’re going to kill so many more. I can’t stop it. I already know…”

Roman had grown eerie silent and yet I still couldn’t face him. I waited, but I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. Maybe, if by some miracle, he could renounce his plan right this moment… maybe I would be able to turn to him then. But instead, there was just us in this darkness and silence surrounding us.

I took a deep, surrendering breath, and looked down at my hand though I wasn’t sure what I was looking for.

“Diana is pregnant.” I said, the life gone from my voice. “Mates. Children. If you stop being stubborn, you could bring back the oracles, I’m sure. The blessings are back. Your plan is pointless. But you-” I finally turned, just slightly, to look at him.

Roman stood just steps away, solid like a statue, and almost just as lifeless as one.

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