Page 57 of The Wolf Moon

“You don’t even want to stop being punished, do you?” I asked him quietly. I looked at him as though this would be the last time I would be allowed to. I took in those steel blue eyes, nearly glowing as the sky began to lighten around us. I looked beyond those scars that marked his immortal body. How sad this creature was; a curse I had fallen for. “I’ll be waiting for you. When you come for the humans, you’ll have to kill me, too.”

I didn’t wait for his response, nor did I check to see what expression might cross his face. I only turned away and this time when I walked forward, I didn’t hear his steps following behind.

Twenty Four

Chapter 23

The sun had risen far into the sky by the time I found my home village. I had thought the moment I saw it, I would be overflowed with such wild emotion that I would throw away all concerns and run into the arms of the first person I recognized. Instead, as the village came into view in the distance, I stood staring at it quietly.

It looked different. Were the buildings always so unimpressive? And the farmland nearby was a much sadder and smaller replica of the ones that the wolves contained. I had known, living the life of a human, that we weren’t allowed the wealth the deity shapeshifters had especially without being able to move beyond a certain range of our village. But had we always lived in such a sad state?

Still, after some time I began to remember and recognize things. That building was the schoolhouse. And that one was the Center Hall… it felt like years ago that I’d been selected from there. This was my home.

I moved quietly along the edge of the village, watching the humans go about their day as they did everyday without me. I recognized most of them, images of memories flashing through my mind when I did. But I didn’t want to speak to them. I wanted to go home.

I continued until I finally was near the house I’d grown up in. I didn’t see my father, mother, or younger brother anywhere nearby. Being that the sun was so high in the day, they would be working to bring food to the table. I could probably sneak inside and get some rest before revealing myself to them.

Would they accept me? Or would they know the moment they saw me that I wasn’t the same Mila that had left them?

After much hesitation, I finally moved towards my home. I reached for the door handle, opening the door quietly like a ghost. Just the sight of the room within flooded me with memories. How many times had I run through these rooms like a mad child, my mother calling out behind me to slow down? How many dinners did we have together, our laughter rising despite our small living?

My eyes scanned the common rooms quietly and then I froze.

My mother was there, in the kitchen. She stood silently looking out of the small window above the sink where she was cleaning the same bowl over and over again. Her head was tilted slightly and she breathed slowly, looking at nothing as though she weren’t truly there. It was a vision that shook me to my core. Her hair was usually a crimson fire that matched the colors of the leaves of the tree outside my bedroom window during autumn. Now it was dull from lack of care, flattened to her shoulders rather than the lively waves I’d been used to. Her skin was even paler than before which was something I didn’t think was possible. And yet, she was still this thin beauty, frail but still there.

“Mama?” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke too loudly she would just disappear into the air before me like the spirit she seemed to be.

Mom froze, the bowl held stiffly in her suddenly tight grip. For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t even turn to look at me, but then she did almost violently. The moment her familiar amber eyes landed on mine, the bowl slipped from her hand and crashed loudly on the ground. I knew I must’ve looked like a beast to her. My skin was blackened from the smoke of the temple fire, streaks no doubt patterned through my face from my tears. My hair was untamed and longer than before. My skin held scratches from my travel through the forest and my clothes were slightly tattered just the same. Would she even recognize me?

“Mama, it’s me,” I began, but before I could finish, she was suddenly rushing towards me. I lost my breath when she threw herself at me, caging me into her arms with such intensity that it was blinding.

“My baby,” Mom cried out, a wail of pain and happiness all in one. She tightened her grip and a sob tore through her so violently that it hurt me. “I thought you were-” She sobbed hysterically. “I thought you were-”

“I know, mama,” I whispered, wrapping my own arms around her and burying my face into her chest. I closed my eyes, inhaling her scent deeply. She smelled of the perfume she made from the lavender plants just outside the village, which was familiar to me. But I could smell even more now. She smelled like freshly cut vegetables and cleaned linen, scrubbed vigorously with her own hands. There was also a hint of blood from preparing fresh game for feasts, though it’d been awhile since she’d done this. I’d never been able to put such specific detail to a scent before being with the wolves.

We clung to each other and I let her cry into my soul, my own eyes dried as though I couldn’t express any deeper emotion after the night I’d been through. But I didn’t shove her away. I would stand like this for months, if that’s what my mother wanted. Anything to sooth the pain in her cries and to make it clear to her; I was home.

* * *

In some ways, my home village, or Alpha as they were unaware it was called, reacted to my presence just as I worried they might. But it was for different reasons than I expected. I had worried they would sense this beastly nature that had begun to consume me while living with the Trinity pack, but it seemed they, as expected of typical humans, could sense nothing.

Instead, what they feared was that I had escaped the clutches of my sacrifice, living in the wild like an animal, and only just was able to find my way home. When I had been selected, there had been several injuries following the reaction and resulting attack on Roman, and people like the village leader, John, worried their luck would be lost by accepting me back into the fold so easily.

My parents convinced him to let them hold me as prisoner in their home, isolated from the rest of the village, while a message would be sent out to the Trinity pack of my existence here. I hadn’t even felt a twinge of concern in such an action. It was nice to know that my own people would actively go out of the way to ensure I couldn’t faithfully escape, should this had been that type of situation, but Roman knew already where I had gone. A message from the humans wouldn’t be a surprise.

I did as they asked with a sense of listlessness, as I was prone to do since coming home. I remained with my mother. I helped her with chores, repairs of clothing, preparations for food, and listened to her humming with a sense of happiness now that I had returned to her. My father held a slight fear in his heart, that my presence was something of a dream and the wolves would return any moment to drag me to my fate.

My younger brother, Gregory, had aged in the time I was gone. His face was settled into one who knew of pain. He’d been punished for causing the uproar during my selection. Scars marked his back from a whipping the village leader declared upon him. Beyond this, he looked at me with determination, without surprise, as though he’d known all along I would have survived anything. He was patient. He greeted me with joy the moment he saw I’d returned, but something in my presence made him pause. And now, I’d catch him watching me from a small distance; waiting.

In the night, I’d find myself standing just on the edge of the forest. Time was passing quickly. I’d clench my hands into fists and then release them before doing it again, the whispers of those I’d met with the wolves echoing in my mind.

Should I warn my village? A great purge was coming led by those they worshipped and feared… no one had any idea. It was so isolating here. There were no ideas of preparing for battle. There were no weapons being created or defenses being built. When the packs come, it would be a brutal, swift massacre. And the only thing between the wolves and the humans would be me; a strange half-breed who couldn’t even shift, who healed like a human, and who struggled to pause even one pack, much less six.

And if Roman led the way? My heart stung to consider.

Weeks went by like this. When no word or wolf came for me, the village leader released his declaration of my imprisonment, considering it an act of mercy from the deities. From then on, I was allowed to roam the village as I wished under the acknowledgement that if the deities did come back for me one day, the village wouldn’t protect me. I wanted to tell them it was a pointless disclaimer; their actions wouldn’t save them in the end. But I only accepted quietly.

The hot summer air was slowly fading into cooler weather. The leaves were beginning to fade as well; their colors shifting from bright greens to quieter browns, oranges, and reds. I would look at them intently, asking them why they wanted to change so quickly. Didn’t they know what was coming?