On one random walk around the village, I found myself in front of the map of Alpha. This map had no name. It was so much smaller than the one Roman had shown me. The village was lined out, a small line of trees beyond it, and nothing more. I could sense rather than see my younger brother stopping to stand nearby. When I tilted my head to glance at him, he was also looking at the map, as though trying to see what I see.
Should I tell him what I saw? Would it ease his mind or would it only make him more curious? I turned to look back at the map, lifting my hand to touch the surface.
“We are called Alpha,” I said to Greg without greeting him. As if on cue, he stepped closer to me, looking at the map more carefully.
“Did you finally see what it was?” Greg asked me, his tone careful and wise for a newly turned eleven year old. He turned to look up at me with a frown. “Did you see what was out there?”
I looked down at him as well, frowning. Then I looked up at the map again. So it did make him curious rather than satisfied.
“There was nothing,” I said, remembering the vast world that I had left behind. “Just violence…” I recalled the soft touch of new friends and the warmth of Roman’s lips on mine. “And misery.” Without looking to see if Greg took my words to heart, I turned away to be alone once more.
On the night of the Harvest Moon, I was requested to go to the celebration with my family. A concern was beginning to replace the happiness upon my mother’s features. I didn’t hunt as I did before. I avoided the forest and stayed by her side; something she was grateful for but knew wasn’t typical of me. I agreed to attend if only to ease her concerns even by a fraction.
The Harvest Moon would be the final full moon before the Hunter’s Moon. In just one month’s time, if Cynthia’s predictions were correct, the humans would be attacked. It would also be around my birthday, but this thought seemed so insignificant to me when compared to the grand scheme of things.
I got dressed for the celebration carefully, pausing when looking at the blade next to my bed. The hilt was covered in etches of wolves and if I were to take it from the sheath, the blade would hold the shine of a dangerous silver metal. I’d had it on me when I’d left Roman and the wolves. Every time I looked at it, I could remember Roman gifting it to me. Then my mind slipped to my hand over his mouth. Like a dog, I’d teased him. A sharp ache of pain struck my heart. I grabbed the weapon to strap onto my hip, just in case.
When I arrived at the festival for the Harvest Moon, I stood before the bonfire and music unmoving. How strange. The night that Roman had let me mark him, I’d thought of my home when I stood before the flames. Now I thought only of Trinity and of him. And as I looked into the flames, I also thought of a temple enveloped in its own fatal fire.
No one reached for me as they would do in the past. The humans of the village still looked at me warily, as though I were a wandering ghost that they weren’t sure what to do with. I went to sit somewhere in the distance, looking over the festivities as a ghost would; invisible and apart.
My eyes slipped to the children running around the outskirts of the celebration, chasing one another with loud laughter. It still felt strange to see small humans of various ages running around so freely here after spending months among the childless pack. The sound of their happiness was almost hypnotizing and I found myself staring at them whenever they passed me on random days throughout the village.
I could feel the blade poking against me, reminding me of its presence on my hip, and I absently lifted it in my hands to look at it almost wistfully. I twisted it in my hands slowly and then carefully removed it from the sheath, watching the flames reflect on the surface of its blade ominously.
After a thoughtless moment, I reached to touch the blade just lightly with a fingertip, expecting the sharp fire of silver to burn me as it had Roman. It took a moment to realize the metal only felt cold on my fingertip. And then I paused before touching it further.
Even now, my body remained human. Of course the silver wouldn’t hurt me. I wasn’t a wolf. And yet, as I looked at my same hand, I recalled the claws of a wolf forming over them. I wasn’t human either.
“Where’d you get that?” Greg’s voice chimed from beside me. I had been so enveloped in my inspection of the blade that I hadn’t realized he’d joined me. I snapped the blade into a sheath just as quickly as he spoke, turning to look at him.
“It was a reward,” I said to him simply, “For surviving the Wolf Moon.” I suppose in some ways this was true.
“You don’t like it?” He inquired thoughtfully with a frown. “You looked sad… did you lose the knife father gave you?” I recalled the blade I’d used during the Wolf Moon. It had been taken from me so long ago that I wasn’t sure when or where I’d lost it. Logan had given me my own blade after that and then Roman gave me this one.
“I lost it,” I decidedly only answered one of his questions. Greg looked at the blade in my grip with his frown deepening, but then a flash of an idea crossed his mind. He stood quickly, digging at his belt before lifting his own blade, similar to the one I’d lost. He sat next to me again with determination.
“Take mine and then you can finally hunt again without being reminded of them,” He insisted, holding his blade out to me. It was such an innocent gesture that for a moment I could only look at his blade, too oversized for him at his current age, in his grip. Did he really think I hadn’t gone back to my hunts because I only had the blade of wolves? A smile lifted on my lips humorously.
“Well, I suppose that’s true. But I can’t just leave you empty handed, can I?” I told him fondly, reaching for the blade in his grasp. I looked at the wolf blade Roman had given me, an ache of pain following the glance, and then lifted it to hand to Greg gently. “Keep this with you. It’ll protect you from any wolf that might want to hurt you.”
Greg looked at me as though he didn’t understand what I meant. He definitely wouldn’t have any idea why that particular blade would keep him safe from the shapeshifters, if that’s the connection he’d end up with. As for me, I might not be able to save the entire village, but if I could just protect one person, at least it would be him. I lifted my free hand, messing up his hair teasingly before pulling him to me with an arm around his shoulder. His usual grumpy features fell into one of a small relief before relaxing into a smirk.
If it was to ease my family’s mind, I would try to act normal. After the celebration, I began to hunt again, even if it wasn’t with the same wild heart I had before. I smiled with them once more, offering game I’d caught in the forest, and practiced my archery behind the house as I used to. My mother’s concern faded, my father’s fear was nothing more than a memory, and my brother approached me without hesitation once more.
More time passed and my aunt, cousins, and other extended family began to visit more often. I supposed my mother had requested they keep their distance until I felt more at ease back home. On one random day, my birthday had arrived before I’d even noticed. My parents threw a small celebration with just family, gifting me small trinkets and wishing me decades of life. As we feasted together, chattering away as we used to, I felt a small warmth of comfort. Even if the village couldn’t look at me the same, then my family would be enough.
I left my quiet musings to the night, when their eyes were no longer on me. Was it nearly the Hunter’s Moon now? I was afraid to look to the sky anymore. Should I demand the village evacuate? Should I at least run with my family?
Roman would comb the forest looking for us for the rest of our lives. I’d heard him speak of it already. But more time would be better than nothing, wouldn’t it? I just… I wasn’t sure what to do.
I’ll be waiting for you.
I recalled my last words to him. And so, with no other ideas, I did as I promised. I waited.
As I sat peering out of my window on one particular night, I felt a humming sensation vibrating around me. I lifted my head from leaning on my hand, sitting upright and attentive at the familiar sensation. I could sense a shapeshifter nearby. Was it the packs come to attack?
No, it was only one.