Page 32 of Crave You

“Yup,” Christian nods his head.

After a minute he adds, “But I know Leona and I saw the way she was looking at you the other night. She’ll come round, I’m sure of it,” he says.

“Mmm,” I say dubiously. “Look, about punching you and that knife shit . . . I . . . I’m sorry.”

“No hard feelings,” Christian says.

I get up and clap him on the shoulder and then I go back to my car. I drive away from my spot and park up around the corner. I want to be able to think in peace, but I don’t want to be sat outside of the concert venue just in case Leona does come along.

I realized something as I was talking to Christian. Sure, I acted the way I did with him because he was getting a little bit too close to what was mine. Normally I won’t have someone disrespecting me like that, putting their hands on what’s mine or acting like they have a claim. With Leona it was more than that though. I wasn’t just afraid of looking stupid or letting Christian disrespect me. I had been afraid I would lose Leona. I was afraid she would see how broken I am and how normal Christian is and choose him instead of me.

I shake my head. I can’t deal with this. I don’t know how to deal with emotions because it’s been so long since I let myself feel anything for anyone. The only emotion I’ve really let in, since I was a child, has been anger. I understand anger. I can work with anger.

But this. No. I can’t be letting someone get that far under my skin that I am acting without thinking it through and punching Christian was just that. I am not afraid to fight when it’s needed, but I’m also not a thug that goes around beating people up for no reason.

I decide that Leona has the right idea. I’m toxic, and I need to keep away from her.

The decision made, I’d like to say I feel better, but I don’t. Not really. I will do though. And when I get a handle on this, I won’t let myself get attached to anyone again.

* * *

A few days go by, since my decision not to see Leona anymore. It’s killing me. She’s all I think about. The way her lips taste. The way her cunt takes me, the way she takes whatever I throw at her and keeps coming back for more. I want to feel her tight little pussy around my cock. I want to twist her nipples until she cries out and cums over me, soaking me in her delicious juices.

I can’t keep on like this, but tonight, I have another chance to see her. I was talking to Laurel earlier and she let slip that Erin had a date, which means Leona will be home alone. Once I knew that, it was game over. I knew I had to go over there.

It’s after nine now and I am confident Erin will be gone. The lounge light is on in their place, but that is all. It could mean Leona is in there or it could mean she has gone out and left a light on to make it look as if someone is home. If she’s gone on a date, I will find whoever she was with and I will kill him. Literally kill him. I will break the fucker in half.

I get out of the car, swallowing down my thoughts and knock on the door. I don’t have any time to wait before it opens, and she is standing in front of me.

The sight of her takes my breath away. I had almost forgotten how small she is, how fragile looking. How beautiful her face is, her features soft and perfect. She is wearing a robe that is tied in the middle and from what I can see, nothing else.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” she says.

OK, I didn’t expect this to be easy.

“Then just listen,” I say.

“No,” Leona says.

She’s starting to close the door, but I won’t lose my chance with her. I put my foot inside of the hallway stopping the door from shutting.

“Move your foot,” she says.

“Hear me out,” I fire back.

“It won’t change anything,” she says.

“Then it won’t hurt to hear it, will it?”

Leona sighs and opens the door wide enough for me to come in. I walk past her and into the lounge, where I sit down on the couch. I hear her close the front door and she comes into the lounge. She starts to move towards an armchair, but I take her wrist and pull her down beside me. She tries to fight me, but I keep a grip on her and, after a few seconds, she stills. Is it because she knows she can’t get away, or is it because the skin on skin contact has made her want me again?

“Why didn’t you tell me Christian is gay?” I ask.

“Huh?” Leona says. She clearly wasn’t expecting me to start with that.

“Let me answer for you, then. Because, if I had known Christian was gay, I wouldn’t have had to be jealous of you two, right?”

“You didn’t have to be jealous of us anyway,” Leona says.

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