Jackson’s face fell. “Really? But I love it.”
“I love it too but Jonah makes a good point,” Felix explained. “I’m actually trying to figure out some hobbies for myself right now. I kinda didn’t have any before and that was bad news for me.”
“Is that why you drank?” Jackson’s voice was very earnest.
This time, Felix couldn’t hide the wince. “Uh, well, it was part of it.”
“Sorry.” Jackson looked down at his shoes. “My mom would say I was being rude.”
“No, it’s okay. I mean, some people probably wouldn’t want to talk about it but I don’t mind that you asked.” As Felix tried to figure out how to word his answer to Jackson’s question, he imagined he was talking to his own teenage self. “Just, uh, give me a minute to think about how to answer that.”
“Okay.”
Felix stuffed his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground while he decided what to say. When he was ready, he looked up.
“For a long time, I didn’t take very good care of myself,” Felix said. “Like … emotionally. I just ignored my problems and didn’t try to fix them and that got me in some real trouble. I tried to find ways to not have to think about what made me unhappy or scared or lonely and that … that doesn’t work. That wasn’t good for me.”
Jackson nodded. “I get it. My mom started drinking after my dad left. She said she was trying to escape the sadness. But that the bottom of a bottle wasn’t the answer to her problem.”
Felix met Jonah’s gaze and they shared an ohhh moment as they put the pieces together.
“How’s she doing now?” Felix asked, hoping it wasn’t going to be a tough question for Jackson.
“Um, pretty good. She’s been sober for a couple of years. She says some days are hard still but better now.”
“Well that’s great to hear,” Felix said. “I’m not quite at a year yet but I’m working hard at it.”
Jackson shot him a shy smile. “That’s good. The team really needs you.”
Jonah smiled as if to say, see, I told you so.
“And I need him too,” Jonah said, nudging Felix in the side.
Felix’s heart melted a little because he’d heard Jonah say things like that before. But always as a friend. And something about the way he looked at Felix and the tone of his voice now made Felix think that it was the kind of thing a boyfriend would say.
A fiancé.
And wow. Felix liked that. He liked that a lot.
“When did you become a fan of mine?” Felix asked, returning his attention to Jackson.
“I dunno. I always liked the way you played. Well, since you were traded to the Cats.”
“Really?” Felix asked dubiously. “I’m not like the flashiest guy on the team or anything.”
“Yeah, but isn’t Coach Casey always talking about how everyone on the team is needed? And that depth is what makes the difference and that sometimes it’s the little things that matter. The stuff that isn’t showing up on the scoresheet that makes the difference.”
“He does say that,” Felix agreed, both amused and impressed that Jackson paid that much attention to the coach’s interviews.
“He calls that the—the … I can’t remember the word.”
“Oh. The intangibles?” Felix laughed. “Yeah, he does say that a lot. You must follow the team pretty closely to know that.”
“As much as I can. I’m not allowed to turn games on until my homework is done and sometimes, I have to go to bed before the games are over. Especially if it goes into overtime.”
“I guess we better stop doing that so much then,” Felix said with a chuckle. They really had gotten way too many of their points in overtime this season.
Jackson continued. “But yeah, I’ve been a fan of the Cats forever. And then when I found out you guys were engaged, I was really excited. It’s so cool to have two guys on a team dating.”