Page 190 of The Waiting Game

“I feel great,” Felix said and Jonah knew he was telling the absolute truth. “I had a rough point after our elimination in Buffalo. I came very close to drinking. But I was able to reach out for help and stop myself in time.”

“Help from Jonah?”

Felix shook his head. “Not directly. He was extremely supportive but it was my AA sponsor I reached out to.”

“Jonah, you must be proud of Felix for how hard he’s worked lately.”

“Of course I am,” Jonah answered. “But I’ve always been proud of Felix. He’s one of the best people I know. And whatever he’s been through, whatever he’s struggled with, that doesn’t make him any less wonderful.”

Liz smiled at both of them. “And I understand that you are going to be taking part in a new mental health initiative, Felix?”

“I am. It’s something I feel strongly about. I think there’s a culture in hockey of guys bottling up their feelings, stuffing them down, and just hoping they don’t explode out in a dangerous way. And we know that doesn’t work. I’m a classic example of that.”

“I am too,” Jonah said. “The way I handled myself during the game in Buffalo was proof of that as well. And I’d like to see that change.”

“So you’re saying that fights like the one between you and Sutton, and teammates sticking up for one another, those should be banned?” Tad asked with a frown.

“Of course not.” Jonah shook his head. “What I’m saying is that I was so far gone in my anger that I couldn’t see that I was hurting our team. There’s a time and a place for fights like that. And that wasn’t one of them.”

“There are rumors that you and Felix were fighting with each other that night, Jonah,” Liz said, “Arguing in the locker room. Are they true?”

“Yes. I was worried sick about my grandmother, stressed about the playoffs, and in a very bad place mentally. This is exactly why I’m so supportive of this initiative that Felix is spearheading. I think a lot of players end up in similar positions throughout their careers.”

“And I’m going to do everything in my power to help them,” Felix said, “Hopefully my mistakes will help teach other guys how to do better.”

“Do you think if you had avoided the fight with Dallas Sutton, the Fisher Cats might have might have gone onto the next round?” Tad asked.

Jonah shrugged. “We’ll never know, will we?”

“Rather than focusing on what might have been, we’re putting our attention toward preparing for next season,” Felix explained, “But Nico will be back in the lineup and with Jonah and I working together, I think we’ll be harder to beat.”

More questions followed, and by the time the podcast was finished, Felix felt rather jittery after talking about his feelings on a show that reached millions of people. This was a big step for him but it felt like an important one in his recovery.

As Jonah pulled into Grandma Ji-min’s driveway—their driveway now—Felix smiled, finally relaxing.

Think of this place as his and Jonah’s was still a little weird. Good, but it would take some getting used to.

Ji-min was slowly moving out and they hadn’t officially moved in yet, but once Charlie got back from his honeymoon, he’d get started on the primary bedroom remodel.

He’d praised Felix’s sketches of what he and Jonah had in mind.

When Felix had tried to brush the praise off and claim they were just doodles, Charlie had shaken his head. “No, these are good, Felix. Way better than anything I can produce. If you wanted a second career as an architectural draftsman, you could absolutely pursue it.”

Touched by the sincere compliment, Felix had thanked Charlie. He had no desire to quit hockey any time soon but it was nice to hear he had some options for the future. He’d always brushed off his parents’ suggestions for his post-hockey career but he was intrigued by Charlie’s suggestion. It was something to look into at the very least.

Perhaps he’d wind up following in Grandpa Cho’s footsteps. That was a nice thought.

“What do you say we go for a walk around the neighborhood?” Felix asked now as they got out of Jonah’s Maserati. “I have some energy to burn.”

Jonah smiled. “Sure, sounds good. It would be nice to stretch my legs.”

They ambled for a while, tracing the route they used to take to get to the neighborhood park, where a community outdoor rink had been set up every winter thanks to Grandpa Cho’s hard work.

He had organized the project for Felix and Jonah, fighting the naysayers on the parks committee who considered it an eyesore, including Felix’s parents.

The memories of Grandpa Cho’s guidance and example made Felix hopeful for his future.

Though Felix’s family was a poor example of how to raise children, Felix had the lessons he’d learned from Grandpa Cho and Grandma Ji-min. Felix and Jonah weren’t going to be perfect parents. But Felix thought they’d do okay when the time came. They’d figure it out together.

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