Page 6 of Forever Focused

Michael read the letter twice and then put his fingers in his hair out of sheer frustration. He’d been at the Air Force Academy for a little over two and a half years and was ashamed to admit that he hated this place. When his friends were signing up, applying, and enrolling and he’d been caught up in the momentum easily.

Toby ‘Bambi’ Saxon

Ben ‘Phantom’ Merrick

Julian ‘Caesar’ Barlow

Esteban ‘Loverboy’ Martinez

Quinn ‘Boiler’ Evans

Chloe ‘Queen’ King

Jolie ‘Angel’ Cunningham

So many of his childhood friends or acquaintances were in attendance. He saw them in the hallways of the Academy, but things were so strict at times that he couldn’t really hang out with them. They didn’t talk. Everyone stood at attention in uniforms, and when he had down time, most of them were trying to study to keep from failing classes. It didn’t feel like home or even college – if felt like boot camp with graded tests, and wasn’t what he imagined in the slightest.

He had another three years of this garbage, plus another year of flight school… and if he made it, then he had to serve ten years. That was fifteen years of this strict life, feeling like a prison sentence.

In fact, he had his first anxiety attack today and ended up in medical for ‘dehydration.’ He just needed to stop, think, relax for a moment, and wished he had someone to talk to. Sure, there were counselors here, but he didn’t want to be talked into this life he was pretty sure that this was not the life for him – and he was jealous of Poppy.

That was the reason he didn’t email her.

He was jealous, afraid, lonely, and terrified that he would say something, allowing his innermost thoughts to get back to his dad. He didn’t want to disappoint him, but this wasn’t for him. What kind of ungrateful person did that make him? Because he was fully aware of what an incredible opportunity this was for him. Officer school led to placements, contracts, and connections. Several had gone on to work in government positions, became ‘Lifers’ serving more than twenty years, and every time someone touted a benefit, it felt like another weight around his neck.

“Petersen!”

Michael looked up at his name and saw several guys standing in the doorway, all of them grinning. Yeah, someone was up to no good and knew he wasn’t alone in chafing at the strict regimen.

“What’s up?”

“We’ve got liberty and are heading into town to get a few beers, wanna go?”

Michael stood up, logged out, and nodded firmly before meeting the other guys' eyes as he unbuttoned his collar. This wasn’t life, but the invitation to party with a few friends, now that he was finally twenty-one, wasn’t exactly something he was going to turn down either. He needed to let loose so he didn’t implode under the pressure.

“I need a break…”

“Yeah! Let’s goooooo!”

* * *

Six hours later, the unthinkable happened.

Michael was completely drunk along with the other guys in a bar downtown. He was experiencing fun for the first time in two years, and there was a squabble in the distance that suddenly exploded all around them. Turns out the woman that was sitting at their table, propositioning them, wasn’t exactly interested in having a few drinks. She was an undercover officer posing as a hooker - and one of the other cadets had slipped her some cash to lose his virginity. Things got out of hand, and all five of them were arrested for solicitation.

“D-Dad, it’s M-Michael… and… I need help,” Michael wept, not caring about image, pride, patriotism, or anything else. The strict life was designed to create a world of order and weed out those who didn’t belong. That was him – a weed – and there was no more ‘bending in the wind’.

He’d finally broken.

Calling his father’s cell phone from jail was not how he imagined this night would turn out, nor did he think that all five of them would be kicked out of the Academy twenty-four hours later.

“I’m on my way, Michael. Breathe, son – and we’ll figure this out.”

“I’m so sorry, D-Daddy…”

“I’m going to take off in just a few minutes as soon as I talk to your mother. You just stay put, breathe, and don’t do or say anything else, okay? I’m on my way to help you, son.”

“Yes, sir.”

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