Page 44 of Should Have Been Me

Ryan’s head tilted to the side in confusion. “But... isn’t that how he always is? He has a reputation for being kind of an asshole.”

“People don’t really know him,” I snapped defensively, the instinct to defend him too strong to ignore. “He’s not the easiest person to know, but there’s a lot more to him than most people realize.”

The two of them shared a look, silently communicating something they were purposely keeping me out of.

“Anyway, things got a little heated, and he ended up admitting he was attracted to me.”

“And that’s a good thing?” Ryan hedged, uncertain where my story was going.

“Yes. I mean, I guess.” I collapsed back into my chair with a heavy sigh. “We ended up losing control and going after each other right there in his driveway. It was...” I didn’t even have words to properly describe how amazing, earth-moving, skull-exploding, out-of-this-galaxy incredible the sex had been. “I’m pretty sure he’s ruined me for all other men,” I admitted on a grumble.

Tarryn leaned back in her chair, letting out a long, low whistle. “Right there in the driveway? Damn girl.” A wicked smile stretched across her face. “When you decide to get back up on the horse, you really go all out. Do Ryan and I need to start putting together bail money for when you get arrested for indecent exposure?”

I crumpled up a bright pink Post-It and threw it at her head as she giggled. “It just happened. It’s not like we planned it. You know no one lives up in that community this time of year. That’s where all the snow bunnies buy their vacation homes.”

She waggled her eyebrows. “So what you’re telling me is he has a magic dick and he’s loaded? If I were you, I’d drop the fake off the front of boyfriend quick, fast, and in a hurry.”

Ryan reached over and smacked her in the arm. “Will you be serious for one second?”

“Ow! All right.” Tarryn pouted as she rubbed at the sore spot on her arm. “I was trying to lighten things up.”

“Go on, sweetie,” Ryan said with a wave of her hand. “We’re listening.”

“There really isn’t much more to tell. He admitted he was attracted to me and we had sex. Really good sex. Then, the second it was over, he asked if I was good to get myself home.”

The affronted gasp Tarryn pulled in was so big it threatened to suck all the oxygen out of the room. “He did not!”

I nodded. “I’d barely had a chance to put my boobs back in my top and he was basically telling me to kick rocks.”

Ryan held up her hands and gave her head a shake. “I’m sorry, and you claim this guy isn’t an asshole?”

“It’s... complicated.” As hard as I tried not to, I could still remember the look on his face when I looked back in my rearview mirror. The pain that had been carved deep into his features as he stood frozen in place, watching me drive away. He looked like I’d ripped off a piece of him and taken it with me as I left. Agonized with longing. The need he’d fucked me with had still been etched into every tense line and muscle of his frame, and seeing that only made me angrier. It had been obvious he didn’t want to let me go. So why had he? “I don’t know how else to describe it. He’s different with me. Last night wasn’t...” I shook my head trying to gather my thoughts. “I don’t think he’d ever hurt me, not on purpose.”

I could see the understanding in my friends’ eyes, but their concern for me was even greater. “I get it,” Ryan started. “And you know we’ll support you in whatever you decide you want, but is this really something you want?”

“It was just sex,” I insisted, but the words sounded empty, even to my own ears.

“It wasn’t, though,” Tarryn said, calling me on my lie. “You really like this guy.”

Ryan gave me a sympathetic smile. “Like I said, we’ll support you no matter what. All we’re saying is that it sounds like this guy comes with some serious baggage. You may want to consider that before getting any deeper.”

I hadn’t thought it was possible to feel any worse than I had when I first got here. I understood where Ryan and Tarryn were coming from, and I knew they only wanted the best for me, but their words sank deep down to the bottom of my stomach, leaving me feeling strangely hollow. It wasn’t as though I didn’t already know everything they were pointing out. Vaughn Cavanaugh was the most intense, complicated, infuriating man I’d ever met, no two ways about it. But I knew there was so much more to him than what he let people see. And I couldn’t shake the niggling sense that he was someone worth getting to know, no matter how hard he fought it.

However, I would have been lying if I said the situation with Barrett hadn’t left me battle-scarred and bruised, and after how Vaughn had treated me the night before, the need to protect myself was beating at my insides.

Honestly, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. But before I could try to figure it out, Becca’s head popped around the edge of my opened office door, her knuckles tapping against the door frame. “Sorry to interrupt. Jolie, there’s somewhere here to see you.”

I tried my best to ignore the butterflies springing to life and taking flight in my belly, mentally stomping out the hope that it was Vaughn showing up to grovel for being a world-class jackass and beg my forgiveness.

Ryan twisted in her seat. “Is it a client? If so, I can handle the meeting.”

Becca shook her head, her expression almost nervous. “Um, well... sort of.”

Before I could ask who it was or what was wrong, my ex materialized in my doorway, smiling in my direction like we were long lost friends. “Hey, JoJo.”

Son of a bitch. This was the last thing I needed.

23

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