Page 16 of Until Forever

“Her and that guy Harmony invited.” Willow points to me.

The girl leans forward, offering me her hand. “I’m Ashlyn.”

Accepting her gesture, I smile. “Latoya. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.” She sits all the way back. “So, what do you mean ill-fated?”

For a second there, I thought I was off the hook, but it seems that was wishful thinking.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, no, no,” someone new singsongs. “I’m December by the way, and I caught how hard he was watching you. Spill.”

I take in a breath and roll my eyes, trying hard not to let my smile peek through. “Like Harmony said, we dated, now we don’t.”

Bringing my beer bottle to my lips, I realize it’s empty, and a wave of disappointment hits me. I don’t really want to talk about this. Not with people I don’t know all that well. Not at all, if I’m being honest. Doing so makes it real, and yes, Jasper is very real.

But then I’ll have to admit to myself that seeing him does way more to me than it should. He’s been gone and I’ve lived a full life, one where I’m loved and where my child is loved. I have the career I’ve always wanted, and life is okay, I’ve moved on.

So then why does it feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest?

I don’t want to talk or think about him, but when I look around the space and see that they’re all waiting for a response, I realize I won’t get off that easily. They’re invested now, it’s obvious on their faces. And Harmony, my dear friend, is smiling wide.

“We started dating junior year and were supposed to move away together. But somewhere along the way, I guess he changed his mind. He broke up with me through a note on the night of my graduation, and I haven’t seen him since.”

“Wait. So tonight is the first time you’ve seen him since high school?” December asks and crosses one leg over the other.

“Well, no. His father is my patient, and he showed up yesterday,” I correct.

“What did he say?” Willow leans forward to look around Harmony.

“Nothing, because she didn’t stick around long enough for him to get a chance to say anything,” Harmony teases, her tone laced with laughter.

“Why did you run?” Ashlyn quizzes.

“I get it,” June cuts in before I can say anything. “The situation with Evan is not exactly the same, but I do understand. He sent his mother to serve me divorce papers, and when I finally did see him again, I didn’t know what to do with myself.”

“But surely you aren’t still hung up on him?” This comes from July who’s sitting with her back against the sofa on the opposite side of me.

“Oh, they’re definitely still hung up on each other. Did you see the way he was looking at her?” June blurts out. “Or better yet, the way she was looking at him? Granted it was only five minutes, but it was the most intense five minutes of my life, and I have nothing to do with them.”

“You were in love,” Ashlyn whispers.

I drop my chin to my chest, letting my arms dangle over my knees. It takes me a moment to answer.

Was it love?

I know what I thought it was at the time, but you don’t leave the people you love.

Right?

Take my parents, for instance. They’ve been together nearly forty years, and it doesn’t seem like that’ll end anytime soon. What they have is what I aspire for myself one day. It’s what I thought I had with Jasper. They met in high school and married around the same age Jasper and I would have been if we’d followed through on our plans. Clearly, that wasn’t in the cards, so—werewe in love?

“I thought we loved each other, but maybe I was wrong. This morning was the first time I’ve seen him or been in the same room in eight years. And it’s awkward and uncomfortable.”

“That’s because you’re not over him,” December observes.

“I am.”

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