Page 2 of Until Forever

The music coming from Latoya’s multi-level house is loud; I hear it the moment I turn onto her street. It’s a vast difference from how things usually are in this neighborhood, and on a weeknight, no less. The road is wet under my tires as I steer my nineteen eighty-four Harley-Davidson Softail between two cars.

People file in and out of her home, some carrying gifts, others aluminum-wrapped food. The front door is open, and I see everything that goes on inside. After releasing the kickstand and shutting off the engine, I settle on my bike while removing my helmet.

My shoulders slump with the intake of breath, my mind and heart racing a mile a minute. No matter how hard I try to push my father out of my head, his words haunt me, digging in deep like they always do. A car rolls past, breaking my concentration. I watch it pull up to the stop sign at the end of the street, then point my attention back toward the front door.

There she is—my Latoya. She’s beautiful in a yellow dress; the color’s perfect against her brown skin. Her hair is up today, soft ringlets of curls framing her face. From here, her wide smile is visible. She’s happy, but she usually is. And tonight, of all nights, she should be.

A few hours ago, she walked across the stage, leaving high school behind. And because of my father, I couldn’t be there. I didn’t get to support my girl as she ended one chapter of her life. That’s okay, though, because, by the end of the night, we’re leaving this fucking place. Only me and her for the rest of forever.

Getting off my Softail, I place the helmet on my seat and fix my clothes. Her entire family is there, including her father, who’s never liked me all that much. I suck air into my lungs and step on the sidewalk, stopping with my shoulders hunched and continue to watch her. A couple cut in front of me, and I stumble back a little.

“Sorry.” I wave at them and tug my jeans up on my hips.

They ignore me on their way up the first level of stairs, then the second set before finally disappearing inside. I watch as Latoya greets them, her grin larger than I’ve ever seen it. A numbness washes over me, and I glance around, not looking for anything in particular, but more to stall.

My fingers tingle, so I shake them out then rub my palms together. What’s gotten into me? We’ve planned this day for an entire year. So why am I second-guessing myself right now?

“Okay,” I say to myself then climb to the first landing.

“Congratulations, sweetheart,” the woman who cut me off says to Latoya.

“Thank you, Auntie.” Latoya beams.

“We’re so proud of you. Your father told us you’ve been accepted into five of the top nursing programs in the country. Are you going to pick Vanderbilt? I know your daddy would hate for you to be too far away.”

By the time she finishes, I’m at the door, standing awkwardly on the threshold. Latoya prepares to answer her, but then her sights land on me. Her posture changes instantly, and warmth spreads over her features, much like every time we’re together.

“Excuse me, Auntie Sharon.” Latoya touches the woman’s shoulder and saunters around her, heading straight for me.

I force a smile of my own, thankful that she doesn’t seem to notice.

“There you are.” She hugs me tight, and I hesitantly wrap my arms around her thin waist. “What’s the matter?” she asks when she leans back to look at me.

I inhale deeply. “You look beautiful.”

Her eyes twinkle when she stares at me, but instead of living in her embrace like I usually do, all I can think about is the mounting pressure. My father’s words are still fresh, and hearing that lady’s question unsettles me. Until I convinced her to run away with me, Vanderbilt was her dream. We’re only twenty minutes outside of Nashville, and unlike me, she has a great relationship with her family—with her father.

Latoya searches my face, a slight frown forming on hers. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head because I can’t begin to explain anything to her. How can I when I’m not sure what the problem is myself?

“Jas, talk to me.”

Her words are full of concern, and I can’t help but love her even more for it. She’s the only person to care for me in a long time. I had friends at one point, but that’s gone now. The only light in my life being her.

I sigh. “I’m just ready to get out of this town, that’s all.”

Latoya stands still for a moment, almost as if she doesn’t believe my words, like she knows I’m lying. Everything is wrong, and it will be until I’m away from this hellhole that I call a life.

“Congrats, by the way,” I say to break the awkward silence.

She takes my hands in hers, and I glance down. We’re so different, she and I, in more ways than the obvious. She’s a black woman and I’m a white man. She comes from a good family, one that cherishes her and pushes her to do great things. My dad hates me and has since the moment I was born, blaming me every day of my life for the loss of my mother. She died giving birth to me. Complications no one saw coming, but he still holds me accountable.

Latoya excels in school, with acceptance letters to some of the top universities in the country. She’s soft, intelligent, caring, and would give you the clothes off her back if you needed them. She’s not the kind of girl who usually falls in love with a high school dropout.

Girls—women—like her deserve the best, not some pipe dream fed to her by the boy she liked when she was a kid. She’s going to be somebody, and I—well, I have nothing to offer her.

“Toya, baby girl?” her dad’s voice booms over everyone else’s. “It’s time for cake.”

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